


Here and There

by Darkpetal16



Category: Bleach
Genre: Adventure, Family, Friendship, Humor, Multi, Parody, Scheming, Strong Female Characters, Wholesome, supportive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26857630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkpetal16/pseuds/Darkpetal16
Summary: The Soul King grew tired of his play, so he asked an old soul to change it. Otherwise known as what happens when an eccentric, morally questionable, teeny tiny overpowered old soul is gifted an Evil™ sword and thrown in a couple thousand years before Ichigo is even born.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 46
Collections: Into another world





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.
> 
> Chibis drawn by Cantrona.

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

She laid still on the cold floor of the kitchen, staring listlessly up at the ceiling. Her heart had stopped, and breath would no longer visit her. She knew she was going to die because it was not the first—nor last—time Death greeted her.

She was too old, and tired, now to fix her heart. She could if she pushed for it, she could force her heart to beat again if she truly desired, but it would only postpone the inevitable.

She was quite happy with her life and satisfied with what she had accomplished. Her spouse had passed on before her, and their children and grandchildren were old and well off enough that she was no longer needed.

She did the best she could, and she was satisfied with the world she was leaving behind.

She heard the garage door open up, the sound distant and hazy to her oxygen-deprived brain, and she knew it was one of her children coming to check on her. She felt bad at what they would see, but it was inevitable.

Besides, it was time to start another adventure with her friends who had already moved on ahead of her.

_ Always and always. _

With the last of her strength, she forced a smile on her face and closed her eyes.

Death greeted her like an old friend.

It picked her up as her body fell to pieces. It pulled her into that comforting darkness and lulled her into a tranquil slumber.

And she slept.

And slept.

And slept.

And slept.

_ And slept. _

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

She saw white sand stretched out beneath a starless sky.

She understood now that she had moved on, she had entered a new world.

' _ Why am I here?' _

She was neither Here (the living), nor There (the dead), though, but somewhere like the In Between.

She had no form, no fingers, or eyes, or limbs to stretch out. She was simply existing, simply watching, and trying to recall her memories.

She thought she ought to have a form, though.

With a stretch, a flex, a movement, she gave herself a nondescript body that was as fluid was water rolling down a mountainside.

This place was more Dead than Alive, a mix of the two, she realized.

There was  _ spiritual energy  _ in abundance, but unlike her, that energy felt cold and hollow. There was no warmth, no color, no  _ life.  _

Death was everywhere in this world, and it showed in its desolate lands and empty skies.

That did not mean it was a bad place, though.

Death was not something to be feared—it only changed the story.

The old soul was a veteran of stories. She had lived through countless tales and lives in a variety of different forms. Animal, human, monster, plant, or anything in between. Reincarnation was not a rare thing—all souls experienced it, but she was one of the rarer ones that remembered, or at least was aware. 

Time and age had little meaning to the soul, everything blurred together in a chaotic mess. Upon death, she normally slept until it was time to return to life. It was exceedingly rare for her to linger in the There. Death did not like to keep her. 

' _ Why am I here?'  _ She wondered.

The soul pondered this for quite some time, her mind foggy and hard to follow. She had not awoken in a place more There (dead) than Here (alive) in a while. She knew she normally had a body that would be born in the Here, not the There because the There did not have typical physical forms. The There was reserved for souls or beings of pure spiritual energy. 

Even now with a technical form she was not truly  _ There _ . She was stuck In Between one moment and the next, in between life and death, in between everything and nothing. Like a breeze caught in a curtain, unable through the window entirely but able to feel what waited on the other side. 

The old soul moved slowly through the place of There.

Time was irrelevant for the dead. Now, Then, and Later all corresponded at once. A ball of string knotted together so tightly it was easy to be Now, Then, and Later at a small whim.

That particular place of There was an oddity, though.

A soul was meant to be Here, not There. Here it could live, grow, mature, and die again. There it was already dead. In Between it was neither alive nor dead.

That place was There, and the fact that the soul was not leaving There perturbed her. She was not meant to linger in the There. 

Especially since she could feel Here, and another There.

' _ Three worlds tied together, existing in perfect balance. How odd.' _

The soul had never come across such closely tied worlds—especially between Here and There.

Here and There should have an In Between, but there was no  _ true  _ In Between.

Which meant that with just a small  _ stretch  _ she could—

Her feet touched down on the pavement. Tall concrete buildings surrounded her with a blue, blue, blue sky above her. Noises, voices, humans bustled about her. They passed through her, beside her, everywhere around her.

She watched them and felt—

She felt memories come to her—

As her consciousness stretched out, bits and pieces of her memories flowed into her like a stream trickling down rocks.

She remembered the taste of air in the mountains; how cold and crisp it felt on her tongue.

She remembered the warmth of the sun on her skin; feeling it tingle pleasantly in a lazy afternoon.

She remembered the smell of wood burning; the ashy overlay that hung in the air and made her nose twitch.

She remembered the sound of that black ocean; the waves gently brushing against the soft white sand amidst the thousands of twinkling butterflies above.

She remembered love; grief; pain; joy; agony; hope.

The one without a body felt the memories come to her one by one, and she welcomed them with open arms.

She knew, in a sense, who she was.

But she did not know why she was there.

' _ Why am I here?' _

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

Then it came.

Oh, how kind its warmth was to her.

It was an old soul, like her, and it greeted her in passing.

She watched the soul dance around her, felt its warmth and love.

She reached out to touch it, to hold it, but it left There and went to the place More There Than Here.

It left her, since it was in the Now and she was in the Then.

She chased after it, heart light and warmer than the kindest summers.

She saw it go into A Boy, and The Boy drew his first breath in this new world. 

It became a he, and the old soul looked down at his new form with fondness. He would not remember the time of In Between, and he may not remember her.

But that was fine.

_ 'Oh, yes.' _

She remembered now.

She knew why was she was here.

She hooked her little pink into the air and waved it at her oldest friend. He was reborn here, and she followed. Sometimes it was the other way around, but this time it was her turn.

' _ You. You are why I am here.' _

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For returning readers: Hello! Follow Lilly into the Bleach-verse for some good ol' fashion fun.
> 
> For new readers: Hello! Hope you like an eccentric OC. The only thing you need to know about her is that she's been stuck in a cycle of rebirth for lifetimes. I will refrain from spoilers / crossovers though, so no worries about needing to read the other stories unless ya really want to!
> 
> Prologue is somber, but this will turn into a humor/parody/feel good soon enough.
> 
>  **Warnings:** Standard warnings that apply to the Bleach anime. Additional warning that this **OC will be strong.** Given the power scales of the Bleach world, strength is a necessity if to play a role in the plot. And I don't want to nerf my baby, she's suffered enough.
> 
> Additional warning of potential AU. Due to Kubo's struggles in completing the series a lot of things were left open-ended, and unanswered. I've put together what I could for my best guesses, but he might come back years later and contradict everything I've written.
> 
> The final warning is that the first arc will skip forward in time quite a bit. I'm covering over two thousand years' worth of events and I simply don't have the muse-power to write that much crap out in detail.
> 
>  **Romance:** Friendship and family are the focus of the story, but OC will flirt to make people uncomfortable. I do have a possible pairing(s?) in mind, but we'll see.
> 
>  **Genre:** Parody/Humor/Family/Adventure… touch of tragedy for OC origins.
> 
>  **Side note:** I do my best to keep everyone in character, but this is my first time writing a Bleach fic, and I've had more years with the anime characters than manga. Sorry if anyone comes across as OoC, and please let me know how you think they should be portrayed!
> 
>  **Side note 2:** I use honorifics because the literal translations in English for them lack their subtle nuances and it's important to the culture the story takes place in. Through just the honorifics it came be told how close someone else, and how others view someone else.
> 
> -sensei is both a title for instructor and someone of respect (like a doctor). The English equivalent is clunky and lacks in the translated respect.
> 
> -taichō is captain. I could use captain, but for consistency's sake I will be using taichō instead.
> 
> -chan is used to address small children, people of endearment, or used as an insult to mock someone.
> 
> -kun is used as someone's equal (both male and female)
> 
> -san is the polite to address someone who is not close enough to be called a friend
> 
> The "There" refers to realms tied to death / spiritual energy. "Here" refers to realms tied to life / physical energy.
> 
> Spiritual energy for the Bleachverse is reiatsu.
> 
> Physical energy for the Bleachverse is vitality, or life.
> 
>  **Question:** Would you rather be reborn as hollow (you can be lucky enough to become an Espada), a human (with powers), or a shinigami (you can have whatever position you want)?
> 
> Reviews are **love**!


	2. Greenroom I

Now knowing what her purpose was, she had to decide how to go about accomplishing it.

She returned to the place of white sand and vast skies because she found it easier to think. Being so close to Death gave her a sense of peace, and her mind was able to focus better.

She was not reborn for some reason, which meant that Death did not want her to be alive again.

Such was fine.

She was an old soul, after all, and had plenty of tricks up her sleeves.

Spiritual energy was easily malleable—especially in worlds closer to There than Here—and could be used to create nearly anything if one knew how.

_ Nearly  _ being the optimal word since she could not—was not allowed to—create a  _ true  _ human body. If she were to live in a human body, she would have to be reborn in one, and she didn't think that would happen for a while.

But she had work to do and needed a body to do so.

So she compressed her spiritual energy, manipulated it, and transformed it until she had something that vaguely resembled a young human woman. She de-aged her body further to that of an adolescent and morphed her face to one of her fondest faces. The smaller and smoother a body was the easier it was to maintain for prolonged periods of time. Wrinkles and height were unnecessary details. But she couldn't be  _ too  _ small otherwise it might cause some irritating misunderstandings.

She gave herself soft pink hair—the most common hair color she had been reborn with. She dallied about her eye colors before settling on a vivid blue-teal.

Lastly, she pulled her spiritual energy out and loosely formed a nondescript white dress. The more details she added to her human-looking form, the more concentration would be required of her to maintain it.

That being said, walking around "naked" was generally frowned upon in non-druidism dominant worlds.

And so she became me.

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

I stepped into the throne room—if it could even be called that, given its garish appearance and lack of throne—of the Soul King.

I immediately understood which world I had been brought to upon seeing the mangled state of such a being. 

_ Bleach _ . 

In the canonical story at the beginning there was no death, nor life. Existence was stagnant, as the cycle of rebirth was in utter chaos. The beings that lived there could not be called human, yet human was what they were. The lack of death forced the spiritual energy to condense and transform those human-yet-not-human beings into something  _ more _ . Some became what was lovingly called Hollows while others retained what they claimed was  _ humanity _ . 

Death pitied the world and granted it the Soul King, a fragment of itself. With Death intermingled in the story the world began correcting itself from madness into order. The creation of the Soul King allowed the humans to eradicate Hollows—and indeed a genocidal purge was called upon immediately—but too much death upon one side of the cycle threatened instability.

It was then that five incredibly powerful beings came together to try to find a solution. Those beings were later known as the Five Great Noble Families in the Bleachverse. The beings pulled the realm apart, separated it into different versions of the There, Here, and In Between—or Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, and the World of the Living. Doing so required the sealing of the Soul King, and so the fragment of Death was placed upon a mocking throne in the Soul King Palace. 

The Soul King, as far as the nobles were concerned, was only a linchpin. To the public, it was a king to serve obediently. Those behind the curtains would know the truth, and they intended to use Soul King as a puppet for their own devices. 

Fortunately for those souls, Death did not care what mortals did with its fragment. 

Each of these clans had a different goal. 

Shiba wanted to create a haven for the Hollows.  Shihōin wanted progression from the stagnation they were stuck in. Kuchiki sought order from the chaos. Tsunayashiro blatantly lusted for the Soul King’s power. Hanako desired to conceal the pit known to them as hell.

Their goals lead them to the separation of the worlds, but for the Tsunayashiro family it wasn’t enough. Their obsession with the Soul King’s power lead to them literally ripping the fragment apart, tearing it limb from limb. The other clans followed suit in a crazed haze of power-tripping. 

What a fiasco. 

It would seem that I had appeared before the Soul King after the story had already played out, yet before it was reset. The souls were in place, yet the environment was not yet shaped. The universe already made but someone hit  _ pause. _

Time was irrelevant for such a being known as Death, after all. 

Its state alternated between mangled and whole.

It—for it was an ambassador of Death, and thus carried no true gender—knew I was coming, so it welcomed me with its velvety soft voice, "Child of fire, welcome."

I curtsied Death. "Bastard."

It didn't laugh. It was a regal, majestic, and powerful creature. It would not deign jabs, insults, or teasing with any kind of response. If it were human it might have rolled its eyes, or snidely retorted something about my behavior, but it wasn't, so it didn't.

"In my head, you're rolling your eyes," I cheekily supplied.

"In my head, you're well-behaved and courteous," it cooly responded.

"If you want that, maybe stop making me reincarnate in shit holes?" I suggested.

Death did not respond right away. We both knew its answer to such a suggestion, and it never,  _ ever _ , saw a reason to repeat itself.

With reluctance, I let that topic go, and I instead asked, "Why did you bring them here? I saw the first one be reborn, and I can sense the rest coming. Another story you want to tell…? But hasn't it already been told before? Why was I allowed here?"

"The story has ended, and now it starts again," it said quietly. "You know why you are here."

"Tired of the old story, then?" I mused. The entire point of bringing an outside soul to a new world was to change it, after all. Be it from gods, lords, demons, angels,  _ whatever _ . If a creature lived long enough to see a reset it’d grow bored soon enough and desire for a change of pace. The best way to accomplish such was adding in an old soul or one with great potential. 

I was not a Hero, nor Villain. I was simply an old soul who had reincarnated often enough to know a thing or two about changing stories. 

Nodding, I said, "Okay, I accept my role here. Will I be reborn, or stay as is?"

"Remain as you are. Take a weapon, and then act out your role in this play."

The Soul King barely nodded its head to the plain-looking katana before it.

It wasn't terribly surprising it was already prepared. For beings such as itself Now, Then, and Later were watched all at once. 

I accepted the weapon and took my leave, returning to the world that I would later know as Hueco Mundo. 

“I’ll return when I’m ready for the reset,” I said.

“I know.” 

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

I placed the katana in the white sand and took a seat in front of it. It was a black blade—it had darkened to the morbid color the moment I touched it—and it gleamed with an almost malicious aura.

That made me want to pout because I liked to think of myself as someone who was  _ not  _ morbid or malicious. Most of the lives I lived I was a relatively good guy!

' _ Run the genocide route just a few times and you're marked for life,'  _ I thought ruefully, shaking my head.

What else was there to do when cursed with immortality, though? It was bound to happen, I wasn't  _ that  _ self-disciplined. I thought, perhaps, if I played the role of the villain that  _ maybe  _ my punishment—my karma—would be permanent death.

Nope.

Although I  _ did  _ get sent to different versions of hell which, uh, wow what a trip. 

The sinister-looking sword remained stock still—not like I expected it to move, really—while I continued to give it a stink eye for its appearance.

' _ I better not have an evil spirit inside,'  _ I thought. ' _ I'm a happy, bubbly, hero! Not a damn villain.' _

Only one way to find out.

I reached forward with my spiritual energy and forced my consciousness inside the spiritual energy that resided inside the sword.

Standard Shinigami—Soul Reapers—had to force their spiritual energy—reiatsu—to imprint upon the sword for  _ years _ . Only after the imprint would the sword take on its unique features, and following that it would take even  _ more  _ years to unlock the ability to communicate with the spirit residing inside the zanpakutō.

Such was because Shinigami were purely spiritual creatures.

Indeed, because they were "reborn" from humans—who are creatures mostly composed of physical energy—they retained a certain level of physical energy.

The exact ratios were:

Humans: 90% physical energy, 10% spiritual energy.

Shinigami: 25% physical energy, 75% spiritual energy.

Hollows: 10% physical energy, 90% spiritual energy.

Quincy: 75% physical energy, 25% spiritual energy.

The physical energy allowed them to stay anchored to their world—it was their vitality if you will. It was a wonderful thing to have, it made it so much easier to interact with the world, and was a clear sign that their souls were strong and healthy.

But, because they had physical energy they had a natural barrier to using their spiritual energy. They had to push past their physical energy—their bodies—and train themselves to use their spiritual energy. It essentially became a foreign appendage for them to use and practice with.

I, oh so sadly, did not get to be properly reborn in this world. I was simply an old soul, so I rested at 100% spiritual energy.

On the bright side, it allowed me to freely use said spiritual energy however I pleased.

On the downside, I had to actively concentrate to maintain my form, and spending time in places of high physical energy—such as the World of the Living (Here)—would be taxing. I also couldn't use any abilities that required physical energy such as chakra, mana, or alchemy.

Which stunk.

_ Really  _ stunk.

It was like beating the final level of a video game only to start a new level with over half your powers blocked.

Completely lame, and truly a dick move by the infamous Vague-Riddle-Prophecy-Bullshit Bastard known as Death.

When I had pushed enough of my spiritual—er—reiatsu inside the blade I was able to bring my consciousness along with it. Entering the realm of the blade felt like walking through a freezing cold mist.

Worst of all, the inside was downright hideous and grotesque. It was a landscape of black  _ gunk  _ and  _ goo  _ that reeked of the sickly sweet stench of rotting flesh. The "sky" was a whirlwind of dark colors that absolutely clashed with one another and made me want to cringe.

"This is a  _ really  _ morbid mindscape," I observed with narrowed eyes, walking through the black  _ gunk.  _ "Ugh… don't give me villainous powers, please."

Then red eyes gleamed beneath the sea of black, and a wicked smile stretched underneath it.

"Damn it," I cursed, now realizing I did indeed have the Evil™ sword.

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

Once I got a good grip on my zanpakutō, I returned to the Soul King. 

It flickered again to hits mangled state, almost looking pitiful. Truly, a shame that canonically the Shinigami treated their beloved Soul King so… cruelly. 

Again, not that the Soul King or Death would give any kind of a flying fuck about it, but jeeze what a start. 

A start.

_ Right… I guess that’s the first step. _

There was one thing I could change off that bat.

The Noble Clans would not be the one to separate the world, or seal (and consequently mutilate) the Soul King. The worlds were already created, the play had already run its course. Things were resetting but the template remained. 

What would happen to those noble families, if their status as  _ Great Nobles  _ were redacted because someone else already set up the world like that?

Someone like me.

Death wanted a change in pace. Let’s see what happened if those  _ Great Nobles  _ started off as nobodies in the Soul Society. Would they rise to their Great status again, or would they sink into the abyss of anonymity? Who would never be born? Who would replace them?

It was a test to see how powerful Fate was at pull in the story. If I set up the stage earlier than before and someone like Byakuya was still born—and most importantly—still considered someone of a Great Noble family, then I knew Fate would be tricky to fight. When changing a story, one must always consider how powerful a hand Fate would play at. 

With Death’s permission through the Soul King upon the reset, I fractured the stagnant world and watched the chaos unfold for a couple of years. Rewriting dimensions was always tricky and had to be done carefully. It wasn’t as difficult or dangerous as changing the Laws of that reality, but it wasn’t something to rush. Time was a ball of messy yarn. I plucked its strongest Royal Guard, Ichibē, before the reset and placed him next to the Soul King. 

The Soul King kept Ichibē’s soul. Ichibē was a powerful guard and I needed  _ someone  _ to attend to the Soul King while I focused on the other worlds. He was someone I did not want to accidentally get rid of during a reset considering how annoying the final boss was. 

I couldn’t be certain the Ichibē plucked would remember his first life. Some souls could handle it and others could not. I hoped he would as a “new game plus” version of Ichibē protecting the Soul King sounded nice. I didn’t have expectations for it as I was never that lucky. 

Honestly I just  _ really _ hoped Yhwach wouldn’t remember the first cycle. New Game Plus Yhwach? No thanks. 

So I set up the worlds. 

Er, well,  _ technically  _ the Soul King did. I simply directed its power by asking nicely. Changing realities was something reserved for gods and becoming a god was… ugh, who the fuck would want that? Talk about restricting yourself. Suddenly gotta follow  _ Laws  _ and  _ Restrictions  _ when dabbling in the fifth or lower dimensions. 

With the worlds split in three and death intermingled at the start the stage was set. 

Now it was time to prep the actors. 

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

Two thousand, one hundred, and seventy-five years.

That's how long it would take until the Play would start.

It would be nearly two thousand years before that first soul—my dearest—would be reborn. He had chosen to be in the Later, and not the Then.

As much as I would have liked to simply step forward in time and grow up alongside him, for the sake of changing The Ending, I had to start shortly after breaking the world.

Because it all began with changing the heart of Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto.

In the first story he was strict, unyielding, and reluctant to show mercy.

He would need his a strong heart to start up the Gotei 13 and lead the Shinigami for thousands of years, but it could not be a heart without compassion.

Without humility.

Without  _ love _ .

So I began with him. After reaching a satisfactory level of comfort with my zanpakutō, I stepped back to the Then and I found a small boy with a heart of a phoenix, and the eyes of a crocodile.

In a world without society, without structure or protection, the weak—children—always suffered the worst.

Genryūsai looked up at me, at this odd woman with hair unlike his own and eyes filled with kindness never shown to him. He was a tattered, small thing, wearing rags smeared with dirt and blood. He was covered in marks, scars, and bruises that revealed a hard life of scavenging for food.

I stretched out my hand to him and offered him the sweetest, warmest, smile my old heart could give. "Hello. You can call me Rirī-sensei. I'm going to make you strong."

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Answer:** Shinigami with a kick ass elemental sword. :D
> 
>  **Question:** Who would make the best teacher for you in the Bleach-verse?
> 
> Reviews are **love**!


	3. Greenroom II

Soul Society prior to the start of the story was a lawless, insane, hot _mess_ of a society. The humans reborn here didn't retain their memories of their past life and consequently, it was like humanity had to start over here.

Except they aged more slowly and were roughly introduced to using reiatsu, as they call it in this world.

And for some  _ insane  _ reason, they were much more aggressive as shinigami than as humans. Likely due to something about this world that the Soul King created. I couldn’t discount the possibility that because it was the Soul King who created it instead of the Great Nobles that  _ could  _ be a potential side effect. 

Coming into this world with memories, I could easily compare how this world felt against other worlds and there was definitely…  _ something  _ off about it.

It wasn't inherently bad, per se, but it was perturbing. It was hard to put it into words, but—like—

Like going out to stay at a hotel that at first glance looks pretty nice. It's got a soft bed, a TV, a strong AC, and one heck of a nice view. But then when you lift the blankets up you see red stains. Now, those stains aren't inherently blood—they could have been spilled soap that didn't get washed out, or whatever, but it wasn't exactly good, you know?

It didn't mean it was an evil room, or that something bad had happened there. Just… something was off about it, yeah?

I don't know. Maybe that's a bad example.

But that's how I felt while living in the new "Soul Society."

I had pulled back the covers of a nice hotel bed and found a red stain.

Blood, soap, or maybe something else entirely?

Either way, cleaning was necessary.

Where did I want to start, though?

It took Genryūsai two thousand years to advance Soul Society to where it stood at the start of the story. To change the ending, did I want to speed this process up, or keep it at the same pace?

' _ Hmm, hmm, hmm…' _

Well! Regardless, I had to start with training Genryūsai up as soon as possible, so he could help establish order. Chaos was fun, but I  _ really  _ wanted paved streets and plumbing. 

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**85 B.C. (A couple centuries after the world was split by the Soul King)**

Those deemed strong enough in the Soul Society were granted zanpakutōs. I wasn't familiar with how the process was started, but those were the general whispers on the street. People who were strong could find the swordmaster, and he would forge for them a powerful weapon that would eventually be known as the zanpakutō. The forgemaster, Ōetsu Nimaiya, currently resided as one of the two Royal Guards for the Soul King but he visited Soul Society once a week to test out potential warriors. If they were strong enough to earn the sword, they might one day be strong enough to join the Royal Guard.

Genryūsai would inevitably obtain his infamous zanpakutō sword soon enough, but since he was still a child that wouldn't be a for a while.

A feisty child that hated baths, but a child nonetheless.

Speaking of the devil…

Genryūsai was watching me behind the trees of our farmhouse while I prepared the potato patch. He thought he was being clever in repressing his spiritual energy—reiatsu—but he wasn't experienced enough at it to hide it from  _ me _ .

Plus his butt was sticking out from behind the tree as he leaned around it to peer at me suspiciously.

' _ Wonder what he's up to,'  _ I thought, half-amused. He hadn't objected when I brought him food and offered him a place to sleep off the rough streets of the Soul Society. But the longer he stayed with me, the more suspicious he started to become of me.

Now a week into living under the same roof, he was hiding and spying on me.

I dropped the hoe, letting gravity carry the weight to dig it into the soil before I pulled it back up and started again.

The Soul Society was a lot like the world of the living except overflowing with spiritual energy, and an odd overlaying tone of something  _ hanky _ . On the bright side because of all the excess spiritual energy certain plants grew like weeds here—potatoes being one of them. Once I got a proper farm set up we wouldn't have to worry about food.

Meanwhile, I could just slip over to the world of the living during any time period and steal—er—forage for food as need be. It was super easy to get a house built up here that way.

After another ten minutes of digging up a field for the potatoes, I finally looked over at Genryūsai and hollered, "You wanna help, or nah?"

He let out a yip like a puppy, so startled that he fell back on his bum on the soft green grass. His dark eyes widened considerably, and his cheeks reddened as I giggled at his reaction. I dropped my hoe in the ground, brushing off the dirt from my blue work pants.

"Well?" I asked him, now approaching him.

Genryūsai's face was redder than the strawberries I was going to plant later. "N-No."

"No?" I repeated back, moving closer and placing my hands on my hips. "Wanna go back to hiding, then?"

"H-How did you know I was there?" he asked, scrambling back to his feet.

"Hmm?  _ Hmm?  _ I wonder?" I mockingly rubbed my chin in thought.

"What do you want me with me?" he blurted out, then comically gasped at himself as his hands flew back up to cover his mouth. If there wasn't a touch of genuine fear in his gaze, I might have started howling at how over the top his reaction was.

The tint of uncertainty and anxiety in his eyes kept me restrained. I offered him a kinder smile, one not laced with mockery. "I told you. I'm going to be your teacher."

"Why?" he asked, slowly lowering his hands to once again regard me with suspicion.

I gave him a big grin. "Because you're my diamond in the rough."

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

It still took about a month of spying on me—and fleeing every time I spotted him—before Genryūsai even  _ thought  _ about relaxing around me. He still devoured the food I made him, would put away the clothes I gave him after I washed them, and still slept in his room, but heaven forbid he was seen in the same room as me or—dare I say it— _ talk to me _ .

I was a patient soul, however, and we had thousands of years ahead of us before we even reached the main story. Souls that filtered into this world were tougher than most, and gaining that strength usually resulted in a certain level of suspicion, and cynicism. The "Soul Society" as it was was a hazardous, horrible, and cruel place where the weak were abruptly killed off. This kind of environment forced a get-strong-or-die mentality.

Showing kindness was viewed as a way to deceive and manipulate. Undoubtedly Genryūsai had already been tricked and betrayed before I came along.

How else would a child be left alone to starve on the streets?

Originally this resulted in Genryūsai growing into a monster at his prime, and only tempering down with age. His "kindness" still resulted in the death of his enemies, though, and his "compassion" for anything other than people of  _ his  _ military force was nonexistent.

Perhaps my intervention would change that.

Or perhaps it would drive him to commit further acts of cruelness.

It was hard to say for certain what my presence would bring—Wyrd could be tricky at times. I had plenty of instances of showing kindness to a villain, and it only spurned them into committing more heinous acts later on.

50-50 chance, I'd say.

Regardless, it would give a different ending, and the journey would be  _ fascinating  _ to watch.

"Oi, lady!" Genryūsai growled out. It came across as more adorable since I could clearly see how nervous he was by the way his knees shook just a teeny tiny bit and his cheeks were flushed. Super cute that he was trying to act all tough, though!

"Yes, Gen-chan?" I asked him, pausing in my clay sculpting—I was making an outdoor clay oven in the shape of Totoro.

"Y-You said you were going to train me!" he blustered.

"Yep. Are you ready to start now?" I asked him, glancing over at him and grinning once more. "You have a lot more meat and fat on you now, so it should be safe to do so."

"M-Meat?" Genryūsai stammered, paling as he lost all his courage. "Y-You're going to eat me?!"

I couldn't resist snorting at that, trying hard not to burst out into laughter at his reaction. I wasn't entirely successful this time around since a few giggles escaped me.

"S-Stop laughing," Genryūsai snapped back, warm color roaring back into his cheeks as a wave of embarrassment washed over him. "J-Just train me already, okay? I need to get stronger."

"Okay, okay," I wheezed. "Let me finish this last part here and I'll wash up. Be warned, though, I'm brutally efficient."

Genryūsai puffed up his chest and held his chin high. "I'm tough! I can take it."

He didn't even last the first hour.

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**84 b.c.**

Genryūsai was tenacious.

It had been a year since we started training and the boy had reluctantly not missed a single lesson. Since he was all skin and bones when we first met we had work on getting his muscle mass back up to a healthy weight before we could do anything intensive.

Now, normally,  _ you don't train children _ .

Human children were especially big no-nos, but children born in the Soul Society were an exception to this world.

Namely because of their proportion of spiritual energy— _ reiatsu,  _ sorry—and physical energy. Their spiritual energy was greater than their physical energy, which spurred on their bodies to adapt at faster rates when young, and made them  _ much  _ sturdier than a regular human. It could also be used to slow down the rate of their physical energy—vitality—degenerating which was how some of them could live for thousands of years.

Their physical energy tethered them to this world and gave them  _ life _ . It was their blood, their heart, their  _ bodies _ . Even hollows, who were not alive in a traditional sense, had a  _ body _ that bled.

Genryūsai had a large reserve of reiatsu—bigger than most born here—and consequently was much sturdier.

If I were to train an average soul, they would be advancing two times slower than Genryūsai.

I had to give it to the little fella.

Boy was  _ tenacious _ .

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**80 b.c.**

With Genryūsai gone for the day doing who knows what, and the farm chores taken care of, I decided to get started on my Super Plan™ that was obviously way cooler than what Sōsuke Aizen could ever come up with. Hence why it was called a  _ Super  _ Plan™.

I first let go of my tie the world later known as the Soul Society. I was a purely spiritual being, so flickering between worlds so closely tied together was as easy as breathing. Hueco Mundo, like the Soul Society, was a place more There than Here. That is to say, it was a place more closely tied with the spiritual realm than that of the physical.

The only difference it really held from the Soul Society was the sheer volume of spiritual energy overpowered its physical energy, so little to no life could grow. After all, physical energy was life,  _ vitality. _

In between one breath and the next I found myself floating lazily in the vast dark skies of Hueco Mundo.

And off I went in search of another lost little soul.

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**70 b.c.**

When settling into a routine time drifts by with ease.

In the mornings, Genryūsai would assist me on the farm before he began his daily exercise. It took several years of eating proper nutrients and healthy exercise before he had gained a strong enough body to last through a single day of one-on-one training.

But gain it, he did.

He worked hard with a fervor I hadn't seen in a mortal soul for many, many years. He practiced his katas, and swordsmanship with such rigid discipline there were times where I had to forcibly put him to bed. He pushed himself to exhaustion over, and over, uncaring about his own pain.

His hands were hard and calloused by the time I gave him his zanpakutō—courtesy of the Royal Guard—and his eyes burned with unwavering determination.

I could see how such a child would grow up into the feared leader of the Gotei 13.

Yet I did not see a whisper of the supposed monstrous rage he would unleash in his youth.

Indeed, Genryūsai was quite kind to me once he accepted that I meant him no harm.

I wondered if perhaps some event I didn't know about would transform him into the supposed rage-aholic, or did I change enough about him by simply raising and teaching him for a little over a decade?

Only time would tell, I supposed.

"Rirī-sensei?" Genryūsai inquired, stepping up onto the back porch of our home.

The sun had already set, and I had taken a seat on the porch to watch the moon and stars that night.

No matter what world I went to, or what life I experienced, the night skies were a consistent factor.

_ That _ , and that I could easily troll people at the bat of an eye.

"Yes, Gen-cha-an?" I asked him, smiling sweetly at when he cringed at his childish name. He had insisted I stopped calling him  _ chan  _ when his voice started to crack. I politely told him absolutely not, and started to sing the  _ chan  _ part when I wanted to annoy him.

Genryūsai sat down beside me, folding his hands together in his lap as he furrowed his brow.

He had aged up to pubescent, but it was hard to tell how long he would stay like that. Due to the high amount of reiatsu inside him, his vitality would fluctuate. One year he might age like a normal human. Another year he'd be stagnant.

Souls in the Soul Society did age faster as children, but once they hit that puberty mark it could drastically slow down.

He was, technically, twenty-two years of age, but he looked no older than thirteen.

Genryūsai took a seat beside me on the porch, an oddly perplexed expression on his youthful face.

"You know a lot of stuff, Sensei," Genryūsai slowly said, shifting his weight.

"Mm-hmm."

"Who trained you?" he asked me.

"A lot of people," I answered.

"Will I get to meet them?"

"Someday," I said with a smile.

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know _technically_ the manga claimed Soul Society is like millions of years old but... what? The first human town found on record was around 7100 b.c. Not even a hundred thousand years. But the Soul Society is _millions_ of years older than our current civilization, but sure as heck doesn't look like it?
> 
> Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
> 
> Learning about Bleach lore and trying to pick out what canonically happened at the start of the Soul Society is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle of random facts, contradicting timeline and rules, and _how the fuck did that happen?_
> 
> So here's my solution: _Let's change that digit to something a bit more believable, k thnx._
> 
> I just can't wrap my head around the idea of a militaristic society not advancing for millions of years _after_ they just introduced the cycle of death / need to survive. Sorry for that little deviation from canon, but I cannot see any logical way to explain how over _millions_ of years there weren't some lazy tech-savvy fellas forcefully advancing the society. Soul Society should have floating cities and instant teleportation wrist watches or something by the time Ichigo comes around if it were _m i l l i o n s_ of years old. We went to the moon in less than 100k where the fuck is the Soul Society moon base?!
> 
>  **Answer:** Hitsugaya, I think. Tsunderes are fun.
> 
>  **Question:** Who would be the best student in the Bleach-verse for you?
> 
> Reviews are **love**!


	4. Greenroom III

**0 b.c. / 0 a.d.**

Genryūsai had taken to training like a duck to water. He had the basics down in the first decade, and the more advanced usage of spiri—ugh, I mean  _ reiatsu _ was conquered over the next couple of decades. He invented over a hundred unique abilities. All the original kidō moves (divided into hadō for direct attacks, bakudō for battle support, barriers, seals, and kaidō for healing), as well as with the addition of a few dozen more that I taught him from my past stints on other worlds. Most of the new additions centered around healing—old habits died hard—but there were a few traps, and completely badass looking offenses.

He had, inevitably, obtained his wickedly cool zanpakutō who was way nicer than my Evil™ zanpakutō. The moment we started training with his zanpakutō in play his power exponentially increased.

Enough so that he started going around Soul Society and beating up scumbags like some kind of batman.

Who killed.

Genryūsai definitely killed.

This, in turn, led to some power struggles between old school gangs and I had to step in a few times to help with a couple massacres. Only a couple because I was not evil like my zanpakutō.

Really!

Anywhore, about a decade of doing that significantly cut down on the Soul Society population and put Genryūsai and myself at the top of the food chain.

So by the time 0 b.c. / a.d. rolled around… Genryūsai decided to take control of the situation.

By that I mean he formed the Gotei 13.

It was still in the early beta stages, of course. Most of them were previous gang leaders that Genryūsai beat the snot out of until they came around to his side. Due to all the, ah,  _ purging _ there weren't many soldiers left to assist the Gotei 13, but we made do.

With the 13 of us working together we managed to piece together some semblance of order in the Soul Society.

And then bursts of hollows would flood the world so we didn't have much time to breathe let alone build a perfect military, but, you know, time was on our side.

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**200 a.d.**

It took two centuries before we could really call ourselves a proper military. This was mostly due to the odd increase in hollow attacks, coupled with some first Gotei 13 being petty sore losers and wanting to start a civil war.

Obviously they were killed, but it still slowed things down.

Of the original Gotei 13, only three of us remained. The rest died in battle, or were killed by Genryūsai after being outed as traitors.

Lame traitors at that, they all behaved so predictably it was rather dull. The human world wasn't much better for entertainment at that point, either. To make things worse I still hadn't been able to track down any future Espadas. I had no clue when they were created, but I figured at least a couple of them had to come around this time, yeah?

Ugh. Considering I had been hunting them for so long by that point I felt like I was shiny hunting for something impossible.

But I'd get that shiny.

' _ Oh yes. I'll get that shiny.' _

The three original Gotei 13 that remained was Genryūsai as the leader, myself as the captain of the 5th division (yeah I stole it from Aizen), and Retsu Unohana as the captain of the 11th division.

Genryūsai remained as the pyromaniac powerhouse. He dominated any who opposed us, and was meticulous in refusing to leave behind loose ends. I had yet to see any rage behind his actions—as the canonical story referenced—but instead he worked with detached efficiency. He genuinely wanted the Soul Society to be a better place, and those that violated the laws set forth were a threat to that desire.

He wasn't cruel, or excessive in his bloodlust. He had a good amount of self restraint, and gave those he fought—and who had earned his respect in that fight—a second chance to join him. He wasn't without mercy, as he was notably kinder to civilians and children.

Retsu Unohana on the other hand was just a crazy hot lady with an insatiable thirst for battle. Her real name was Yachiru Unohana, but I only ever knew her as Retsu so I kept calling her Retsu. It pissed her off and she challenged me to a battle to make me call her by her proper name. She lost. I won. She became Retsu. She regularly challenged Genryūsai and me to battle, and every time she lost she became zealous for more. Her craze for battle got so out of hand that Genryūsai flat out refused to send Retsu out onto the field until she could learn some self-control.

She took that to mean: learn how to heal to keep her opponents alive. Sadistic and a wee bit insane that one. Retsu was loyal, and obeyed those she respected. Unfortunately, that list was only down to Genryūsai and me, and if any of the other captains got too close to her she was liable to cut off their legs.

She wasn't a bad captain, at least. Those under her command deeply respected her, and due to the nature of their leader all grew accustomed to battle. The 11th division was modified into a pure combat berserk squad.

It added some intimidation to our military. No one wanted us to send the 11th division after them. Heck, even I didn't wanna fight those crazy fools! Felt more like fighting rabid gorillas than humans.

That and my zanpakutō was Evil™ with a capital  _ e _ so I could rarely use it. Stupid thing. What I wouldn't  _ give  _ for a reroll. I'd take a zanpakutō that just healed the enemies at that point. Not a dang nuke.

As if sensing I was grumpy about it, I could  _ feel  _ the spirit inside my zanpakutō smirking tauntingly at me.

"I wish I could use Therapy-no-Jutsu," I muttered rebelliously, glaring down at my zanpakutō. It was in the shape of a thin black bladed katana inside a thick black scabbard. To help counteract its evilness I wrapped a pink ribbon around the scabbard and tied it off into an adorable pink bow on the hilt.

Even trying to cute-ify it didn't work too well. If I was a Shōnen Protagonist like Gon, Naruto, Ichigo, and so on I could use the all-mighty Therapy-no-Jutsu but I was not. I could not persuade my zanpakutō to not be an Evil™ bastard anymore than I could persuade Retsu to not be a crazy hot lady. That was simply how the world worked, whether I liked it or not.

That didn't mean I couldn't  _ try _ . Hence the cute little pink bow on the zanpakutō, and I baked cookies for Retsu every time she got through a conversation with a fellow captain  _ without  _ oozing bloodlust.

Speaking of Retsu, the tall woman was practically glowering now.

All the Gotei 13 had gathered outside a rather impressive structure, along with our lieutenants and some of our soldiers.

The building in question was immaculate in design. A lot closer to the edo period (late 17th century for Japan) in design. The building had tall dark wooden walls, black tiled roofing that curved, and stone pathways around it. It was large in structure—about the size of a better off school in the 21st century—and it was accompanied by similar looking smaller structures.

That ensemble of buildings was Genryūsai's pride and joy.

We might have built a city—an impressive one at that—but that was more so on my end. I wasn’t going to live in a world without basic plumbing and other necessities. Advancing technology to that point was risky business, but as long as I kept the technology from advancing too further it would be okay. It was annoying to have to keep an eye on any budding scientist, but it was the price to pay for having everyone bathe regularly. I also made sure that factories weren’t a thing. I wanted to keep it handcrafted for as long as I could, so any time someone had the bright idea to build a steamrolling factory or some such nonsense I politely warned them. If they heeded my warning that was that, and if they did not then I cut their heads off. 

I was good about murdering people without getting caught. 

We had a good city. It was a lovely city, really, but Genryūsai didn’t have much say in how it was built.

These buildings, though? They were the Shinigami Academy and Genryūsai designed and built them all on his own. 

Ah, yes. The academy.

The academy was something we decided to open up a few years ago when we realized the soldiers under our command were little more than canon fodder.

Once Genryūsai thought about having other people train like he did, he absolutely had to make it happen. Students would be accepted into the academy if they could pass a simple test of using reiatsu, and would be provided food and shelter in one of the dorm rooms. The currently designed curriculum would have them in schooling for about five years. After graduating from the academy they would be inducted into a squad where they would continue to train under their captains.

The first part no one had an issue with.

The whole "training under their captain" was  _ not  _ something the other captains were too happy about.

Especially Retsu.

_ Especially Retsu _ .

The black-haired beauty was openly glaring at Genryūsai as my favorite student began his opening speech at the academy.

Genryūsai, who didn't look a day over eighteen despite being nearly three centuries old, proudly gave an enthusiastic speech about his hopes for the academy. The brown-haired man was lit with a fiery passion, his dark eyes lighting up with sincerity as he spoke. The once ragged boy was dressed in expensive shihakushō with his captain haori draped over top. It warmed my heart to see him come so far.

All the captains wore the shihakushō—the standard shinigami outfit which as composed of: a white shitagi, a black kosode and hakama, a pair of white tabi, a pair of waraji, and a white obi—but to set them apart from their soldiers they wore a white haori with their division number and symbol marked on them.

As I was the captain of the 5th division I wore a sleeveless haori with our insignia—Lily of the Valley—marked on it.

Retsu, that long black-haired blue-eyed lady, also wore her 11th division haori, but she kept the sleeves on hers.

The outfits were designed by the lovely Senjumara Shutara who left to joy the Royal Guard shortly before the creation of the academy. Senjumara even made the adorable pink bow for my zanpakutō. 

"... and so, I am proud to officially declare Shinigami Academy is now open! The first day for our students will begin tomorrow. I hope all of you will provide proper support as need be," Genryūsai finished, a wide smile on his face.

We clapped at the end of his little speech. Except for Retsu who kept glaring at the school. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was tempted to burn it down.

Huh.

Actually—

"Retsu-chan!" I cheerfully called out, breaking away from my squad and moving to sling an arm around Retsu's shoulders. Her dark blue eyes were colder than the North Pole as she turned her anger on me.

"Rirī-taichō," she said evenly, coolly.

"I think you need to let off some steam. How about a spar?" I offered her, slowly steering her away from the academy.

That got a glimmer of warmth to enter her gaze. "Hmm."

"I'll make some BBQ afterward," I offered as an extra incentive.

That sealed the deal, and Retsu inclined her head to accept such. "If you insist, Rirī-taichō."

Food was always an easy bribing tool.  _ Especially  _ good food.

' _ I think this life I should compete on Iron Chef. I would  _ so  _ kick ass.' _

With Retsu now focusing her energy into a future spar, the academy was safe for today at least.

' _ Mental note: make sure Genryūsai sends Retsu out on a mission ASAP.' _

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

"Sensei," Genryūsai greeted me jovially, "Ah, and Unohana-san, hello I almost didn't see you there."

Retsu sharply glared up at Genryūsai as I slowly stitched back on her left arm using one of the kaidō techniques I developed—kaidō: 76 raifusutetchi (life stitch). A combination of reiatsu generated from the body, and pulling the vitality—physical energy—of the surrounding environment to form thick green thread that could be used to sew limbs back on. The infusion of vitality encouraged cellular regrowth that had to be monitored by an experienced healer.

It was good for closing larger wounds in battle, as once the stitch was inside it would continue to heal even without being monitored. Stupid to even try to do it without experience, as if vitality was forced into the body unchecked it could create mutation of the cells: cancer.

"Perhaps you'd care for a round, Genryūsai-san?" Retsu brusquely asked. 

"No thank you," Genryūsai said, grinning widely at Retsu's mounting cold fury. "Would hate for Sensei to have to stitch you back up again so soon."

Genryūsai briefly chuckled at the spike of malicious intent Retsu directed right at him. Retsu haughtily turned away, her gaze refocusing on watching me heal her injuries. Retsu respected Genryūsai well enough to follow his head, but she was at loathe to address him as her superior. Genryūsai had picked up some of my wonderful habits of trolling and teasing those around him. The more he could infuriate them, the happier he was. 

He ran his fingers through his brown spiky hair. "I have a long term mission for you, Unohana-san."

She did not outwardly acknowledge him.

"On the far east outskirts there's been a surge of violence," Genryūsai went on. "I want to establish an outpost there, but I need you to clear all the problem makers out. However long it takes."

Retsu gave a short nod, acknowledging and accepting the mission. "Fine. I'll take a rain check on the BBQ, Rirī-taichō."

I cut off the stitch, ending the kaidō. "Okey dokey. Feeling better, at least?"

Retsu sneered at that, tossing an aggravated look at Genryūsai. "I still see no point in training fodder. The younger generation shows no promise."

"It can seem that way for now," Genryūsai allowed, "but you'll find your diamond in the rough soon enough."

That got a smile out of me, and Genryūsai tossed me a cheerful grin.

"Hmph. You're both sentimental fools," Retsu scoffed. "How you became so powerful is beyond me."

"For me it's because of my hair," I said, gesturing toward my long pink hair. "Pink hair gives me protagonist power and dooms me to tragedy if this was a magical girl world. Bit of a double-edged sword."

Retsu rolled her eyes, standing up and walking out of the training room. Genryūsai watched her leave for a moment before moving to me and pulling me back up.

"Speaking of double edged swords," Genryūsai said slowly, carefully. "Your lieutenant asked to be moved out for your squad. Again. What did you do?"

"Um. I—I did  _ not  _ dress him up like an animal and hogtie him to a tree before throwing said tree into a lake," I lied, refusing to meet Genryūsai's gaze. "Nor did I dress him up as a maid on multiple occasions."

"Uh-huh. And why would you…  _ not  _ do these things?"

"He may or may not have challenged my authority," I said. I looked away, whistling innocently.

It wasn't the first, nor would it be the last.

I was an old soul, and my form looked closer to an adolescent than an adult. It was  _ so  _ much easier to maintain a consistent shape the smaller I was. You would not believe the extra concentration it would require if I persistently gave myself an extra foot in height, or added on more mass than what was necessary. By consequence, I looked  _ young _ . Late teens young. Too young to be a captain as far as many were concerned.

And, ah, yeah there was some sexism involved. It was  _ really  _ early on in humanity's development and Soul Society was largely basing itself off Japan's hierarchy.

Being a female—moreover being a short, pink-haired female with big eyes and a sweet voice—made people instantly underestimate me. It made for some fan-fucking-tastic trolling opportunities, but it also meant that most men would look down on me.

Those same men would not want to be in the same squad as me. I knew it. They knew I knew it. One snide remark too many and I turned their lives into hell until I (as  _ always _ ) broke them and they went sniveling to Genryūsai begging for a change.

Not all men were like that, of course! Those who stayed with me long enough, but still wanted a change for whatever reason, did so with my recommendation and encouragement. Those who treated me politely could receive extra training from myself, too, and many men under my command took advantage of this.

It was unfortunate that the more prejudiced soldiers currently outnumbered those with open minds. But! I knew time would fix that.

"Oh, Sensei," Genryūsai said with a shake of his head. "Well, maybe you should teach down at the academy. You might find someone better suited to be your lieutenant."

"Maybe," I allowed. "I'll teach if you need me to, but I think  _ you  _ should have the most hands on with the academy for now."

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**300 a.d.**

It took over three centuries of persistent grinding to finally find what I was looking for. To be frank, had I started this story in one of my earlier lives I doubted I would have the patience to pull this off. Probably would have taken over all the words, raising each them up as a different ruler, then pitted them against each other in a massive battle where only one world would survive.

… Maybe next time.

Actually no, yeah, I am  _ so  _ doing that if that Riddle-bastard makes me restart so far back again. Fuck! It was so BORING. Not to mention I  _ really  _ missed my dearest companion. He was born so much later, and having to wait for him was a special kind of agony. I was grateful I could at least form connections with Genryūsai and Retsu. If I had to go through all of these years alone I didn’t think I could manage without falling into a bad slump. 

I still missed him.

Sigh.

"Holy sweet berry loving Mew, blessed Arceus at  _ last _ ," I breathed out when I finally, FINALLY, spotted the two people I was looking for.

Took nearly  _ four hundred years  _ of searching but I was a patient and persistent soul.

I descended from the skies of Hueco Mundo, nearing my target. As I grew closer to them a sense of nausea washed over me, making me cringe.

Now such things might be considered normal except I didn't have anything  _ close  _ to a normal body. I was literally an amalgamation of spiritual energy condensed, reshaped, textured, and colored to only  _ look  _ like a human. My insides were 100% raw energy. I didn't feel, or even see the same way humans did.

I saw through the waves of light that bounced off other spiritu—er, I should really get used to using reiatsu, shouldn't I? I could "see" in a similar sense to how a bat saw, but through the waves of light bouncing and reacting to the reiatsu in the world. As a being of pure reiatsu, I was able to interpret the world in its purest forms of light, but I automatically filtered out certain colors since humans could only see a small percentage.

It'd be odd if I started talking about the color vol since the human mind  _ literally  _ couldn't comprehend it, and those around me might start getting confused.

A shame. The worlds around us were  _ such  _ a beauty to perceive in their natural state.

Human skin was practically a color of its own—a kaleidoscope of shimmering marvel.

Losing my point!

I didn't feel, or see, in a typical fashion.

So  _ nausea  _ was certainly an alarming sensation to have, as it meant that something was disrupting the binding of my reiatsu.

The discomfort only grew as I neared the duo, and I had to actively focus on keeping my human "skin" together and not slipping back into my natural state.

' _ Wow, these two really do have some crazy pressure!'  _ I thought.

In the original Play Starrk and Lilynette were once the same Hollow. Hollows were deceased souls who lost their "heart." It was a touch vague, but essentially if a deceased soul lost hope they were overcome with despair and would transform into a Hollow. In the Play it was the Shinigami who purified these Hollows and set them free of that despair.

That was hogwash. Yeah, Shinigami eventually would go the  _ we're here to heeeeeelp them _ , but it really started off with Hollows popping up in the Soul Society and causing havoc. The Soul King sent some created zanpakutōs back in time to stop the Hollows from overwhelming Soul Society and it became a whole  _ thing _ . It was only in the past century that Shinigami acknowledged their zanpakutōs could purify Hollows.

Most Hollows spawned in Hueco Mundo after being transformed. The ones that didn't remained in either the Soul Society or in the Human Realm.

Starrk and Lilynette were a Hollow who was so powerful its mere presence killed any Hollow who tried to approach them. This made it  _ so  _ lonely that it split itself in two so it could have at least one person to talk to. Starrk retained most of the raw power, but Lilynette was someone who could withstand that power and stay by his side.

The two sat on the white sandy dessert, huddled in a black tattered cloak, and completely alone for thousands of years before Aizen approached them.

Time to switch it up.

"Yo!" I greeted them as soon as I landed in front of them, a big smile on my face. "I'm Rirī. Let's be friends!"

Starrk abruptly looked at me with wide, wide eyes. The future strongest Espada was at a loss of what to do with my greeting, but Lilynette was faster to the draw.

The small child offered me a shy smile. Her red eyes gleamed and her short mint colored hair bounced as she hopped over to me. "A friend?"

"The very best, dears," I said. "To commemorate our friendship, how about we play a game?"

"A game?" Starrk questioned, his voice low and cautious. It was impossible to miss the tinge of hope.

' _ Had they already been alone for that long? I've been looking for them for  _ ages _.' _

"Shōgi to start with. It's nice and long," I answered, gleefully pulling out the board I had constructed with my own hands.

And that was how Starrk and Lilynette became my game buddies I'd hang out on the weekends to avoid dealing with the Soul Society drama.

_ ‘Shiny Hunt = Success!’ _

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are as sporadic as Lilly.
> 
> **Answer:** Rukia or Orihime.
> 
> **Question:** Who would you FIRST want to meet from the Bleachverse?
> 
> Reviews are  **love** !
> 
>   
>    
> 


	5. Greenroom IV

**720 a.d.**

I had a lovely little tearoom in my complex. There was a fire pit at the center and it was surrounded by plush, soft, cushions. Each of them were hand woven. I had collected a couple dozen of sheep that I kept in the back and used for wool. It was a nice pastime to tend to the gentle animals, and I enjoyed the mindless task of carding and roving the wool. Genryūsai also enjoyed it. When it was time to prep the wool, he'd come by and sit outside with me and talk while we worked.

It wasn't some difficult training method, or time-consuming bureaucratic duty. It was simply two companions who sat outside in a zen garden, absentmindedly moving their hands while talking about unimportant things.

I did sell my excess wool on the side. I spoiled the shit out of my sheep with my own dietary plan for them, so they always produced excellent quality. A lot of the noble and wealthy spirits went out of their way to try and obtain some.

In my tearoom, I poured Genryūsai a small cup of strawberry white tea. He had stopped by in the afternoon with a twinkle in his eyes.

The moment I saw that sparkle in his gaze I had a sinking feeling he was about to give me bad news. Specifically, the kind of bad news I would hate, and he would love.

I was right.

"Why do _I_ have to teach at the academy?" I whined after he dropped his bombshell.

Genryūsai finished his first cup of tea before he answered. "Because I have to come up with _some_ kind of punishment for you after you ran off the last of your squad— _again_!"

"But they're so _weak_ ," I bemoaned to Genryūsai as I poured him a second cup of tea. "I'll just end up scaring them away."

"Oh no you don't," Genryūsai warned me, his dark ember eyes narrowing in a warning. The man was forever stuck in his twenties thanks to my training, and if I had to take a guess I'd bet a good amount of money he was already stronger than his canonical counterpart. Strong enough I had to actually use my Evil™ zanpakuto when fighting him.

On one hand, I was one proud momma for that.

On the other hand, damn it let me be lazy.

"If you don't succeed in graduating at least one student, I'll shut down all the bars in Soul Society for a month. No more Mystery Midnight Magic."

"Noooo. Not my magic shows!" I cried out. "It's a tradition."

"Then you better not fail."

"You're eviler than my zanpakuto," I mock-sniffled.

"Thank you," Genryūsai returned. "Have fun teaching cannon fodder."

"EVEN YOU ADMITTED WHAT THEY ARE! GIMME BACK THAT TEA YOU LITTLE SHIT."

Genryūsai gulped down his cup of tea, grabbed the teapot, and fled while laughing at my misery.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

With a heavy heart, I donned my captain clothes and headed off to the academy. Genryūsai was correct about needing to punish me _somehow._ Since I adamantly refused to lead the Soul Society, I had to adhere to my rank. It would be unfair if those of similar ranks did what I did and got punished for it while I got off without even a warning.

It certainly wasn't like I was _trying_ to keep my squad around either. Not everyone ran off on bad terms. I had a good chunk of soldiers that did well _enough_ under my tutelage but ultimately thought they would do better under someone saner. The rest were either killed by my hand out of irritation, or killed in a mission that I sent them out on.

Half of me was hoping at least one of them would come back changed like a Shōnen Protagonist™ but my boredom wasn't that easily fixed. Death was adamant against adding any new heroes to the story. It would have been fantastic if I could get my hands on a fresh soul with potential.

No such luck.

On the bright side, I had my weekend board games to look forward to. Starrk and Lilynette had become rather fanatic gamers. Enough so that I would sneak some stuff off the future market to entertain them while I was gone. Like solar-powered handheld consoles and turn base solar lights. As long as they kept them out of the Here before they were created it was perfectly fine.

Lilynette was becoming quite the Pokémon trainer. Starrk was transforming into a fantastic chess player. I ended up stealing a chess VI from the year 3000 to entertain him. He hadn't won yet, but I knew it would only be a matter of time.

The academy hadn't changed too much since Genryūsai opened it up. Some buildings were added, but they were all replicas of the main building.

According to Genryūsai I would be teaching one class from start to graduation—usually five years of training. Sometimes only one if they were talented enough.

' _Ugh, what a waste of time,'_ I bemoaned as I entered the classroom. The classrooms weren't even pretty to be in, just an old-school Japanese-style dōjō with desks and chairs. Completely unimaginative. I had offered Genryūsai my excellent carpentry skills but the he had been determined to build the school with his own hands. His own completely boring, unimaginative, and plain hands. Inside the classroom there were thirty students present, all male. ' _UGHHH. I don't even get to see some decent eye-candy.'_

Actually—

There were two students who stood out in comparison to the plain faces of their peers. One was a boy with long white hair in a side ponytail. He sat upright at his desk, his posture immaculate and showed that he had been reborn to wealth in the Soul Society. He was oddly familiar, so I made it a point to try and match a name to his face.

The other boy was more of a rugged handsome type in comparison. His dark hair was curled, messy, and short. His clothes were in a disarray, as if he had only rolled out of bed and pulled them on without a care to how they looked. He, too, struck me as familiar.

My teal-blue eyes narrowed in thought. I ran my fingers through my long bubblegum pink. "Good morning, fodder."

"Good morning, Sensei," they respectfully greeted. Several of them looked at me with reproach. Given the track record of sexism, I could only guess they resented having a female teacher. Or maybe they hated that I called them fodder.

"Let's start off with a roll call. I say your name, you respond. If you're too late in your response, I'll throw you out of the classroom."

Ahh, yeah, that definitely got some sour looks. With a malicious smile I began to rapidly call out their names.

"Tokokani."

Surprised that I had not chosen to go by alphabetical order, there was a moment of silence before a student in the back said, "H—"

He took too long, so I used a low-powered hadō technique to blow him out of the classroom. He went flying through the walls, crashed into the ground, and fell unconscious.

' _Oh wow. Guess I'll have_ no _choice but to rebuild this classroom. Golly gosh what a shame. TOTAL accident.'_

"Too slow," I said with a sweet smile as I already mentally planned the sculpted unicorns. "Hojakatado."

"H-Here!"

I blew him out of the classroom too. I made sure to toss him out another wall, so I could rebuild it as an epic mural in honor of my adorable sheep. "I don't like it when people stammer. Speak properly. Somsō."

"HERE!"

I tossed him up through the ceiling so I could add in some stained glass windows. "Don't yell, I'm right here. Ryōshō."

"Here," came the quick and quiet response of one of the random fodder.

"Gezo."

"Here."

"Kyōraku."

"Here," said the messy-haired boy.

' _Ahhh. He's Shunsui Kyōraku. Okay then the other must be—'_

"Ukitake."

"Here," answered the white-haired boy.

' _Wow. Guess this class won't be_ such _a waste of time after all.'_

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

After roll call I did a basic assessment.

I promptly failed literally every other student besides Shunsui Kyōraku and Jūshirō Ukitake. It wasn't pure character bias, the rest were laughably weaker in comparison. There was really only so much I could do with fodder. I had tried for centuries to cultivate an extra, but none had risen to the necessary level to stay relevant. They rarely even had enough reiatsu to slow down their aging to stay alive long enough to make it to the start of the play in 2015. I didn't want to waste my time and energy on useless fodder.

It wasn't too hard to persuade (threaten) another teacher to accept the fodder while I stole Shunsui and Jūshirō for some one-on-one training. Neither of them seemed terribly happy that I had kicked out the rest of the students, but neither dared to talk back to me.

By lunch, it was only us three.

"Well done to both of you for not being incompetent and having potential," I praised them both. "These next few years will be hellish for you, but if you stick with it you'll become captains in no time."

Shunsui's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Captains? I don't know if I'd want such a troublesome position."

"I don't blame you," I told him sympathetically. "But it'd be a waste for you to linger as a fodder soldier."

"F-Fodder?" Jūshirō stammered in surprise.

"Don't stammer. You're too pretty to stammer," I teased, the compliments coming easy. "Don't worry. You'll be calling them fodder too in a hundred years or so."

"Never. That's too disrespectful," Jūshirō politely, but firmly, stated. "Any soldier who gives his life to protect our society should be treated with respect and honor."

"Uh-huh," I dismissed. "Well, it's lunchtime so you both better eat up while you can."

With timing that only existed in an anime world, their stomachs growled in unison. I nodded, unsurprised by that timing. Everyone knew if you brought up food in a non-action fight scene, _someone's_ stomach would growl. That was one of the Rules of Anime™ right after: if the female lead has big boobs, she's gonna end up in a lot of indecent situations with the male lead and the male lead _will_ squeeze those boobs at least once throughout the story.

That was simply how the world worked.

I grinned at how both of the boys blushed and sheepishly looked away from me. "Tell you what, to celebrate getting such an amazing teacher like myself, I'll treat you both to some of my home cooking."

"That's not necessary, Sensei—"

Jūshirō was cut off by Shunsui's enthusiastic response, "Sure, thanks!"

"Good boys," I praised them.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**723 a.d.**

Now when in a story where one had to plan for thousands of years ahead the small every day nuances became harder to remember. Days and years would blur by unless something out of the ordinary presented itself.

My routine was pretty well set. Nothing was meant to happen until it was meant to happen, which meant the random little oddities that would happen frequently in a short story (such as Narutoverse, Pokéverse, Potterverse, DCverse, Marvelverse, etc) did not occur. Every day was similar to one another. A repetitive monotonous routine.

If I had to play a role in the Bleachverse story in one of my earlier lives, I would have lost my sanity.

Thankfully, I didn't have any left to spare so I was able to bear with it.

Kind of.

Jūshirō Ukitake was well-mannered and articulate. Nothing was ever out of place on him, and he took great care in appearance every day when attending school. He did not complain, and whenever I made him flustered he blushed and stammered. It was honestly super duper cute and I had a lot of fun poking him in different ways to get his reactions.

He was surprisingly ticklish on his sides!

At twenty years of age—although he did not look older than seventeen—he was tall and lean. His height had reached Genryūsai and I had to wonder if perhaps Ukitake would surpass my first student in that regard.

He was very kind. No matter what kind of taunting I did, or how brutal my training sessions were, he gave me a respectful and gentle smile. Each student he ran into he would only ever treat courteously.

The ones that I had kicked out previously mocked me.

He defended me.

Not needed—I would outlive them by a long shot—but it was sweet of him to be so loyal to his teacher. After the first year under my tutelage he started wearing his hair down in a manner very similar to how I wore mine. My sweet little duckling.

Shunsui Kyōraku was similar in a lot of ways, but different on the surface. They both had a kind and loyal heart, but where Jūshirō was neat, Shunsui was messy. His jacket always had some kind of stain on it—mud, blood, or food—and his curly dark hair was haphazardly brushed through which gave him a bed-head look. He didn't seem to know how to shave properly yet, so he had patches of uneven stubble on his face.

But damn was he a hard worker when he wanted to be.

Oh, sure, outside of class no one could get him to do anything he didn't want to, but the moment I pulled out a wooden sword for training he was raring to go.

He also _loved_ to play games.

I had modified my normal training regime into a variety of different games for the two of them to play. My personal favorite was knife monopoly, but Kyōraku expressed pure delight when it was time to play blind spiked dodgeball.

Ukitake wasn't a fan of blind spiked dodgeball.

I had anticipated teaching would have been a pain, but I was pleasantly surprised by the two of them. They were good boys. Sweet boys. They both reminded me of past children and grandchildren I had.

It was hard not to dote on them.

Actually—

There was that one day, a few years into their training, where I had taken them out on a lunch picnic. The forest that resided at the back of the academy was ideal for most blindfolded games, but sadly Jūshirō and Shunsui had memorized that forest so well that it no longer mattered to them if they could not see it.

I would have to start sneaking them into Hueco Mundo to give them proper hunting experience. Something that I planned to begin that very afternoon.

On that warm spring day I laid out a lovely picnic for the three of us to enjoy before training picked up. Both boys were eager for my food, sporting huge, silly, and childish grins as soon as they caught a whiff of it. Not that I could blame them. I _had_ spent two lives in the Foodwarverse, and I have ongoing access to the Foodsoulverse where I rested in between lives if I could.

' _Oh, my dear Erina…'_

What an adorable wife she was. Golly gosh I missed her.

Although in my second life I was reborn as her little sister.

 _That_ was awkward as heck for the first couple years.

Anyway—food was in my blood. I lived and breathed excellent cooking. I earned the Chef title on Azeroth my first day there. I could end wars with my cooking if I really wanted to.

Jūshirō carefully began setting up the tea for the picnic, his movements methodical. It was easy to spot the subtle twitching in his lips which gave away how excited he was. Shunsui on the other hand had no issues showing his eagerness. He took a seat beside me, bouncing up and down in place as he restlessly waited for me to divide the food out onto plates for them.

"Settle down, Shu-chan," I advised him. "You don't want to get another tummy ache from eating too fast, do you?"

He paused in his movements then shook his head. "It'll be fine, Sensei! I've got an iron gut now."

"Oh? You developed such a thing in only a few weeks? I'm _so_ impressed," I deadpanned.

He bashfully grinned, scratching the back of his head. "Uhum… well… it'll be fine! Trust me."

"Mm-hmm."

"The tea is ready, Sensei," Jūshirō said, holding out a small cup for me to take. I accepted it with a smile and murmur of thanks.

"Then I suppose the food is ready," I said, giving each a heaping plate of lunch.

To say they inhaled the food would be an understatement. It seemed like only a few seconds had passed before they had both finish devouring the food and started to help themselves to a second, then third, then fourth, then fifth plate.

By the time I had finished my first plate the duo had devoured the entire spread of food I had brought.

Shunsui let out a sigh of contentment as he laid back on the picnic blanket. "Ah… this is the life."

Jūshirō murmured an agreement, stretching back on the blanket as well.

Somehow both managed to fall asleep within a few minutes of relaxing.

' _Food comas are powerful things,'_ I thought in amusement.

I could have woken them up right away and sent them off to train, but—

When I looked at their sleeping faces, a stir of warmth grew inside me. A soft smile appeared on my face and I gently positioned both boys closer to me, so I could run my fingers through their hair as they slept.

' _Little children,'_ I thought with fondness. ' _Little souls, so young and untouched by the cycle.'_

I let them dream of sweet things as I watched over them.

' _Enjoy your peace while you can, sweet little ones. May Death wash away your memories in the cycle so you may enjoy each life given.'_

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**725 a.d.**

The three of us—myself, Jūshirō, and Shunsui—stood in the remodeled classroom. I had taken it upon myself to rebuild it after destroying it on the first day. I had done a beautiful job. I handcrafted fields of flowers, prancing unicorns, and flying sheep before painting it over with a gentle touch.

Genryūsai destroyed it as soon as he saw what I did.

I rebuilt it again.

He destroyed it again.

Eventually we agreed that I could keep the flying sheep sculptures and artwork, but everything else had to be plain.

"Welp," I said, looking over at Jūshirō and Shunsui from my desk. "Congratulations. You've both passed the final exam and have graduated."

The two boys gave me a splitting grin. Shunsui reached forward and pulled me into a bear hug. "Thanks, Sensei!"

"You're welcome, dear," I told him, patting his back. I noticed Genryūsai approaching us and wave him over. "Gen-chan! I've passed my class. Here are my two students: Jūshirō Ukitake, and Shunsui Kyōraku. Both are very good boys."

"I've heard. Well done to both of you. My lieutenant will show you to the back room for your shinigami clothes," Genryūsai told the two of them. His tone suggested that the two of them scurry away quickly.

Ukitake and Kyōraku bowed respectfully toward Genryūsai before they left. When they were out of earshot, Genryūsai chuckled.

"Congratulations, Sensei. You're the first person to have successfully trained the first two graduates of the academy," Genryūsai praised me.

"Wait, what?"

"Everyone else kept failing the final exam. This is fantastic. You should keep teaching."

" _What?_ What do you mean—where the hell have we been getting all the soldiers?"

"From the academy. They just failed," Genryūsai said cheerfully. "But we can still use them, yeah? Gotta find canon fodder somehow."

"Oh. My."

Genryūsai clapped me on the back as he said with a big fat smug grin. "To think I was thinking about training people myself… gosh, what would I do without you? Hope you enjoy your new teaching post."

I whimpered.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blastin' through the paaast~ 'cause I wanna get to canon~~
> 
>  **Answer:** Orihime.
> 
>  **Question:** Who would you hate to meet in a bad mood, alone, in a back alley?
> 
> Reviews are **love**!


	6. Greenroom V

Genryūsai tried his best to get me back to the academy to teach but I threw _such_ a magnificent hissy fit. I warned him he'd have to physically haul me back there and we both knew he couldn't defeat me in combat. He relented; I celebrated.

Time continued to march on. I had to eventually bite the bullet and put together a more permanent team. My standard _team_ was not canonical to that universe. In order to change the story I needed to personally pull in characters into my team to train them, guide them, and bond with them. That meant I needed to effectively kick out whoever was my lieutenant prior to make room.

Obviously doing that to an actual human soul would cause dramageddon.

My solution?

Summoned creatures.

Much like _Soul Mods_ , or _Soul Candy pills_. I molded their bodies from the corpses of… well, perhaps that part is better left unsaid. I _did_ get a little murder happy making their bodies.

(Although the Soul Candy pills weren't invented yet, it wasn't like it was rocket science to figure it out. I've made homunculi before as Elizabeth, the core science remained the same. Just had to make sure no one else figured out how I made them so it wouldn't fudge the timeline up in a way I didn't like.)

After a body was created I summoned forth companions and echoes of creatures I had befriended within my past lives. Not all of them could come personally, but they were happy to donate a copy of their energy and personality.

The result ended up being that the standard team for the Fifth Division was _usually_ made up of inhuman creatures that specialized in utilizing devastating "hadō" attacks rather than the typical zanpakutō. My summons were not allowed to carry such a sword because the Soul King was a prejudice _dick_. Apparently giving a zanpakutō to a demon or whatever would be too evil.

Pfft.

My sword was Evil™, not my companions!

Most of the time.

Okay like, so _maybe_ two of them helped me do a genocide run but like that was _ages_ ago.

I only kept three, but that was all I would ever need. It wasn't that I really _needed_ them for battle, but as long as I had _someone_ in my squad Genryūsai wouldn't make me take on uninteresting fodder characters.

With my summons, they were more than happy to play the roles I gave them.

**First:**

Name: Kura

Body type: Red fox

Speciality: Destruction / Fire / Mage DPS

Personality: Tsundere / Kamidere

**Second:**

Name: Shiori

Body type: Butterfly with clear wings and frost at the tips

Specialty: Espionage / Illusion / Retired combatant but if necessary uses ice-based attacks

Personality: Dandere

**Third:**

Name: Snuggles

Body type: Tiny panther

Specialty: Assassin / Melee DPS

Personality: Mayadere / Kuudere

And best of all, when I needed a more human canon-friendly team I could send them away and they wouldn't make a fuss about it. Perfect situation for my needs.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**1006 a.d.**

"I think I finally have you in a check mate," Starrk observed.

"Congratulations," I praised him. "It was about time."

"You're very hard to predict."

"I've been told that before." I looked around his stone house. He and Lilynette had built it a couple centuries prior so they could organize and protect the massive amount of games that they had procured. Lilynette had spent the past century mastering programming, drawing, and writing, so she could start making her own games.

I'd start marketing them in 2005 for her so she had _plenty_ of time to make it. I warned her she had to match technology for the time line, which was going to be hard for her to do but not impossible. She literally had almost a thousand years to do it.

Starrk was perfectly happy sticking to strategy games and reading books I had brought him. He had quite the underground library.

"You can do other stuff than wait for me every week," I pointed out to him as we put away our hand carved chess pieces. "You and Lils are plenty strong enough to take over Hueco Mundo."

"But why bother?" Starrk shrewdly retorted. "You've complained an awful lot about Soul Society and dealing with the politics behind it."

"Yeah," I agreed with a sigh. "To be honest it's a struggle not to slaughter the noble families."

"Why don't you?" he asked me for the hundredth time.

"Too much of a wild card. I could probably compensate for it, but it'd be _such_ a pain in the ass."

"More so than dealing with them for another thousand years?"

"Dunno," I admitted. "Maybe not. But I've learned not to piss off Storyteller too much 'else everything goes wrong. Like my baby girls not being born or coming out stillborn."

"Baby girls?" Lilynette had entered the makeshift living room. It was literally a big empty room with a table to play board games, and surrounding chairs.

"Yeah, you'll meet them both soon enough. They aren't born yet." I told them. I pulled out a pocket watch to check my time.

Time travel was wanky. I wasn't a Time Lord. I had Time's Blessing, which acted as a permit, but there were still things I could not do. The time I was in was marked as my Present, and I could only go so far back from the Present. I could go to the Then and back to Now without fuss, but the Before was dangerous to mess with. I could stretch it to maybe an hour, but anything more would risk damaging the timeline I resided in.

Worst case scenario I'd have to force detonate the dimension I was in and restart in an alternate. Damaged timelines were dangerous business. They were akin to a plague on time itself and could infect and hurt nearby streams. If enough timelines were infected they could congregate into a Glitch which was bad news for all the multiverses. Then the tenth-dimensional beings had to get involved and _whoa boy_ what a mess that'd become.

"Got time to continue our D&D?" Lilynette asked hopefully. "I've finished another line of quests."

"Are they Rirī proof?" Starrk dryly asked.

"Hopefully. Rirī, please stop trying to seduce the villains."

"It's in my nature," I protested but Lilynette glared at me. "Ugh, fine. Next campaign I'll play something other than a seductive bard."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

I put away my pocket watch. I'd be late returning to Soul Society, but that should be fine.

Surely they could survive an entire day without me, right?

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

I returned to everything on fire.

Literally. Everything. On. Fire.

"What the fuck?" I asked in disbelief as I stared at the burning city. "How the fuck? Kura!"

Kura popped up next to me, lazily floating in the air as he sipped on a—from what I could smell—pumpkin spice latte through a straw. "Yeah?"

"What the hell happened here?" I gestured to the burning city.

"Yhwach."

" _What?!_ Why didn't you guys come get me? You know I've been trying to get a hold of him, Bazz-B, and Jugram for like centuries now. Not to mention this was my chance to kill Yhwach before he got too annoying."

"Snuggles and I enjoyed the fireworks. We kept the important people alive though, don't worry," Kura reassured me. "Besides, Death was keeping you out of their pocket dimension for a reason, wasn't he?"

' _A stupid reason_ ,' I thought bitterly. ' _Ask me to change the story then keep me away from key late game actors._ '

It was hard enough having to wait so, so, _so_ long for my precious companion to be reborn. Being given limited access to the story felt like a kick in the butt, and in the inspiring / motivation / Therapy-no-jutsu way… rather a kick in the butt like _here let me turn up the difficulty for no reason._

' _I hate the Soul King._ '

"And Shiori—oh, wait," I sighed, recalling. Shiori was rebuilding the kaleidoscope for Rirī's life. Every week she needed to spend three days in the In Between. Today was only the second day. Since I had no physical energy to spare it took her longer to give them forms. They'd be a lot sturdier due to their pure spiritual energy form, but it'd take at least two centuries of careful construction.

' _I should have predicted Kura and Snuggles would watch the world burn,'_ I thought to myself. I was unable to get mad at them. I had hoped to just kill Yhwach right away, but it made no real difference in my goals. He'd be dead by the time I finished Aizen's arc regardless.

At least this way it might be _fun_ to kill him. Put up more of a fight.

Golly gosh, he might even make me take it seriously!

Wouldn't that be a change?

I rubbed at my forehead in irritation. "Ugh. What timing. Almost like a certain dick head Soul King planned it out."

"Perish the thought," Kura snarked.

"On the bright side I can probably persuade Gen-chan to let me do some city construction work. I've got a great idea for a giant cat statue."

"Good luck with that."

With a shrug I headed off to find Genryūsai. I followed the path with the most destruction and pools of blood that in literally any other world would have meant the person who lost the blood died. In anime world it just meant they started talking in a raggedy breath and golly gee they'd still be kicking long enough for a healer to arrive 9 outta 10 times.

And shit, what did you know.

Genryūsai was using his zanpakutō as a cane as he was bent over, bleeding a waterfall and gasping for breath. He looked up with hazy dark eyes when he saw me then toppled forward in a graceful heap. His last word before he slipped away into an unconscious state was, "Sen… sei…"

What a drama queen.

I caught him, patched him up, then proceeded to carry him like a bridal as I hunted for my other two students. Jūshirō was collapsed on a stone pile with a—I kid you not—a sunbeam poured down on him between the rubble so the whole scene looked beautiful and dramatic. The sun and fire reflected off his pretty white hair in a way that honestly made me a little hair envious.

Patched him up, wrote a little note telling him to meet up by the school when he woke up, then off I went.

Shunsui didn't look as dramatic or pretty as my other two boys. In fact, he was pinned against the wall with some kind of pole in his gut. He was slumped over and I was annoyed to find his handsome face was completely covered in bruises.

' _You don't just hit pretty boys and girls in the face,'_ I thought irritably. ' _It's_ such _a waste.'_

As with Jūshirō I patched him up.

Lastly was Retsu. I carried Genryūsai over to a nearby medical tent where Retsu was calmly working on some canon fodder.

"Hey honey I'm home," I called out as I plopped Genryūsai on the floor in front of her. He let out a small groan. "I brought our kid back."

"He's our kid now?" Retsu asked with bemusement as she stitched on some random dude's arm. "Where have _you_ been?"

"Errands. You know I always head out on the weekends," I answered with a shrug. "Surprised all this mayhem and gore didn't awaken your lust for blood and violence."

"Oh it did," Retsu assured me. "But the battle is over and I'm needed here."

"I'm very proud of you for calming down on your own," I praised her, reaching up on my tip toes to give her a kiss on the cheek. I ended up having to walk on the air with my reiatsu because she was too tall, but I got my kiss."Ever since you came back from that decade long raid you've been acting less and less crazy."

"That means _so_ much coming from you," she giggled cutely. "Don't get me wrong, Rirī-taichō. I wish I could hunt down those who fled and gouge out their intestines with their own teeth—"

"How would you do that?" I wondered, trying to picture it.

"—but after I met someone I realized something important." Retsu smiled fondly.

"That's nice." I said. I looked down and nudged Genryūsai with my foot. "Think you got the healing covered?"

"I'm not on the same level as you," Retsu reminded me. "If you want to help—"

"Nah, I healed my students and made sure you were still standing. I should probably start putting out the fires."

"Oh, yes. The city is on fire isn't it?"

An explosion went off in the distance. It sounded near the ammo so Retsu and I plugged our ears as our black powder storage inevitably exploded.

Yeah, a _little_ a head of its time but there were some things I wasn't going to suffer without. Like basic plumbing and electricity. As long as I killed any scientist who came in and wanted to advance the tech too far ahead it was fiiiiiiiine.

I did have one genius a century ago who was starting to figure out nuclear energy. It was kind of fun hunting down him and everyone he talked to. Didn't like it when they cried, but the scientist was clever enough to put up a proper chase. He actually hid underneath an extra pipeline in the sewers! Took me a whole week to find him. Less than a minute to kill him, though. Was definitely not a fighter.

Once the explosions died down I bowed to Retsu. "Fare thee well my lovely lady. I'm off to make it rain."

"Literally?" Retsu asked, peering up at the holes in her tent.

"Literally."

She sighed. "Give me ten minutes to find a new tent cover."

I saluted. "Okey dokey."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**1500 a.d.**

Hueco Mundo did not change over the thousands of years I had visited it. It remained a white sandy desert eternally at night. There were some small pockets of different environments, but for the most part it was a sea of sand. Barren.

Every weekend I would spend some time with Starrk and Lilynette before I continued my search for the rest of the Espada. I had no way of knowing when they would come into existence. All I could do was diligently search Hueco Mundo until I found them.

"Oh praise sweet baby mew I found you," I muttered under my breath. Finding Ulquiorra was a lot harder than Starrk and Lilynette since I could only go by sight. Starrk and Lilynette at least had such a huge amount of reiatsu that I could sense them a fair bit of distance away. Ulquiorra had an impressive mount of reiatsu, but not enough to catch my attention.

Ulquiorra as a Hollow had the shape of a man. His skin was bone white, and he had long flowing black hair. There was a pair of black bat wings on him. He had a bone mask covering his entire face except for his eyes that looked almost seamless with his skin.

' _How does he eat?'_ I wondered I as landed on the sand in front of him. _Hollows need to grow, so clearly he's gotta be able to use his mouth somehow._

Ulquiorra's green eyes indifferently assessed me. He did not speak or move.

"Hi," I greeted him with a curtsy. "I'm Rirī. We're going to be friends."

Still, he did not answer.

"That's okay sweetie," I told him. "I've got plenty of experience keeping a one-sided conversation going. Let me paint you a pretty word picture while I try to entice you to eat one of these deliciously baked cookies infused with my reiatsu."

After six hours of endlessly talking to him, I learned that Ulquiorra did in fact have a mouth as Hollow but holy fuck it was traumatizing to witness him eat cookies as a Hollow.

' _For the sake of the ending, I will bear this trauma alone.'_

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Answer:** Mayuri. Talk about long and painful death.
> 
>  **Question:** What type of _-dere would you become if you were reborn in an anime world?
> 
> Reviews are **love**!


	7. Greenroom VI

Ulquiorra could not interact with his world very easily. He was born with a... unique mouth that only allowed him to consume instead of communicate. He was deaf, had no sense of smell, and his ability to feel the physical world aroudn him was numbed at best. 

In a lot of ways, he was a soul with only eyes. 

Luckily for him, _I_ was a soul with no traditiaional senses. I interacted with the world through my ability to manipulate reaitsu, and my experience in mimicking a human form. I could conjure and create the body parts missing if I needed assistance. I wrapped him in my reaitsu, gently intertwining our energies. Slowly, carefully, I manipulated his own reaitsu until it could do what I was doing.

And suddenly Ulquiorra could hear my voice.

"Hello, love," I said again. "Come with me, and I'll show you how to play with the world around you."

THe language I used didn't matter because I spoke with my reaitsu directly into his reaitsu. Until such a time that he learned to use his reaitsu as I did, I would wrap my reaitsu around him and let him use it as a way to interact with the world.

For the first time in his life Ulquiorra would finally be able to make connections. 

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

"My friends, this is Ulquiorra. I've adopted him as a potential future husband or brother or best friend for one of my baby girls," I introduced Ulquiorra to Starrk and Lilynette. "Don't worry, I've placed a barrier of my reiatsu around him so he won't get sick being near you two."

Starrk and Lilynette stared at Ulquiorra who stared back.

"Do you know how to play chess?" Starrk asked him.

Ulquiorra shook his head.

"Have you ever heard of a video game?" Lilynette asked him.

Ulquiorra shook his head.

Starrk and Lilynette were positively scandalized by Ulquiorra's lack of information. They proceeded to hug him.

"There, there," Lilynette consoled him. "We'll take care of you."

Starrk patted his head. "Everything is going to be okay now."

Ulquiorra turned his head to look at me, his expression unreadable due to his mask.

"Welcome home sweetie," I said with a smile. "I'll bring more baked goodies next weekend when I renew the barrier on you."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

Now a thousand years prior to the start of the story in 2005, Yhwach—the bastard of the Soul King—made a country of Quincy in a pocket dimension known as Schatten Bereich which was inside Soul Society.

One might wonder why exactly I hadn't gone to that kingdom and conquered it to put a stop the whole Yhwach bullshit right away.

That would be because the Soul King thought that would be too boring. Yeah, I could, but he didn't want me to. I wasn't allowed _anywhere_ near that kingdom. It forced me to wait on the outskirts to try and grab the people out of there, but I only had a couple of hours every week to do so.

Basically, I was shiny hunting with a mod that randomly generated a Pokémon once a week, every week. Odds were stacked against me. My best chance would have been on the raid five hundred years ago, but the timing was not in my favor. The Soul King was _such_ a dick.

I only knew two Quincies I could grab so early, too! Just two! Just give me those two, damn it!

After over fifteen hundred years of trying desperately, I ended up having to do something I hated.

I went to the Soul King to... _ugh_... ask nicely.

"All right you little shit," I told the Soul King as I appeared his throne room. "You wanted me to change the story, I can't stop the war if I can't get a hold of the main people involved in it. So give me those people."

"No."

"Why?"

"The war should still happen," the Soul King said.

"You still wanna die until the next reset?" I shrewdly asked him. "Your bastard son literally absorbs you. Sweet Arceus, please tell me you don't view that as father/son bonding."

It didn't react. No matter what insults I threw at it, the godly being would remain unfazed.

"You cannot be allowed to enter," it told me again.

"If _I_ cannot go..." I trailed off in thought. "Can I send Shiori?"

It was silent for another minute.

"With nothing lethal," I added.

It responded slowly, "Shiori is acceptable. An additional barrier will be set up around Yhwach, so you and your summons cannot get near."

"I'll take it! Woo-hoo! So, while I'm here how about giving my demon buddies some zanpa—"

It kicked me out.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

The story of Yhwach and the Quincy Arc wasn't as well known to some as the Sōsuke Aizen one.

Yhwach was the illegitimate child of the Soul King and a proper bastard. He was the father of the Quincy and had a vendetta against the Shinigamis and the Soul King. Basically, daddy issues out the wazzoo.

Oh, sure, he'll tell his followers he's all about peace and love and oh _nooo_ I'm not a racist _at all_ and blah blah blah but he's the one who started the fight with Genryūsai and invaded the Soul Society not once but _twice_. His actions betray his true intentions, and his words nothing but lies. He's arrogant to annoying point, and his powers are irritating. There was nothing fun about fighting him because it boiled down to a childish, _your powers don't work on me because I said soooo_.

The second invasion on Soul Society wouldn't happen for a few more centuries, but the point still stood. He killed the Quincies if he considered them "impure," and touted godhood faster than someone sneezing when tickled by feather. He wasn't a god.

Gods did not need to actively shape the universe they were in. The universes were shaped around the god by their mere presence.

But a whiny child did not understand that. As soon as he got enough power he lost himself in his ego like a boring, childish, brat. There was no way to redeem him without literally changing his biology due to how he was born. He was beyond salvation, and so he could only ever stay an annoyance.

A gnat.

He was a hypocrite. A delusional, daddy-issues, hypocrite.

For the moment he was sealed away and would be out of the picture for another few centuries. He'd return, kill Ichigo's mom and any other Quincies who were "impure" for him like the genocidal racist he was. After that he'd work on rebuilding his strength to become the new "god" of his world and blah blah blah.

Bastard killed a lot of my favorites and wasn't even as handsome as Sōsuke to get away with it. He'd get no mercy.

Next time he stepped out of his stupid little dimension I was gonna kick his booty up and down until he cried for his daddy. No. I was going to kick his booty so hard his vertebrae popped out his mouth like a goddamn pez dispenser.

In all my lives there was only one type of opposition that instantly triggered utter hatred: boredom.

I _hated_ boring, dull, predictable villains. I could deal with vile acts of evil, or righteous delusional heroes. It was the whiny little shits who got a little bit of power and got so full of themselves they went on a rampage. And instead of being fun to fight they had irritating powers, or they were just overall dull.

There was nothing interesting about Yhwach's personality or motives. He was only an obstacle.

A boring, repeat of a villain that paled in comparison to the original.

While I strongly disliked Yhwach I didn't _hate_ his subordinates. Some of them were decent fellas, just too blindly loyal. Loyalty was good, don't get me wrong, but if it's loyalty to a genocidal racist _prooobably_ not.

Ideally I'd kidnap the targets and raise them myself. Clearly the Soul King didn't want that. It wanted a whole thing. It wanted the drama, the action, the betrayal. It thirsted for the tea.

And I was gonna give it the hottest pot available. I might have had a little bit of a set back, but thankfully I had Time's Blessing.

Here's the thing with Time's Blessing.

I could not place myself in the same period of time without causing a great risk, and enduring a painful penalty (I would start to disintegrate until I left that period). Once I had lived through that time in that particular dimension I could not do so again.

That was why I did not immediately jump to the start of the story. I needed to lay down the foundation, or risk having to constantly go back in time and incur the penalty of running into another version of myself.

That meant I could only live through the same moment once in Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, Soul Palace, the physical realm, and... Schattan Bereich.

I could not physically visit the Quincy dimension, but thankfully Shiori now could. And I could send her back to when the two possible converts were children, and hopefully, catch more as the time period went on. I had no idea when the rest of the alphabet babies were going to be born.

It was clear that the Soul King still wanted that huge climactic fight between the captains and Quincies, but perhaps it'd be okay if I included some Quincies v Quincies.

The first two—and maybe only two if I was unlucky—I knew were born prior to the show were: Bazzard Black otherwise known as Bazz-B and Jugram Haschwaith.

Jugram was a precious baby boy with a bad family, and a lack of esteem very similar to another popular waifu from the Narutoverse.

Bazz-B was a reckless, arrogant, sarcastic good boy that would probably be a lot of fun to take along to go drunk raiding.

I had no idea where in their special Quincy pocket dimension they were born, or when, just an approximation of two hundred years prior to when Yhwach attacked Soul Society.

"Shiori," I called out to my dear friend as I returned home from visiting the Soul Palace. "My dear, would you care to join me in a hunt?"

 _~How may I assist?~_ Shiori asked, fluttering into existence and landing delicately on my finger.

"The Soul King granted you permission to go to Schattan Bereich, the off set dimension it created in the Soul Society to prevent me from interacting with his bastard son too soon. I need you to find two boys."

_~Shall I be your messenger for them?~_

"Writing letters will make it too hard to form a connection. I cannot go there in person, so instead why not make illusion?"

Shiori's wings fluttered, a subtle gesture of amusement. _~How cunning, my summoner.~_

"Aren't I always?" I giggled.

_~You certainly have your moments.~_

I laughed. "I love you, Shiori."

_~I love you, too.~_

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

"Sensei!" cheerfully called Shunsui Kyōraku as he opened the door to my office later that evening. He had a silly grin on his face as he said, "You should make us dinner tonight. I found someone who looks like the fella you said was going to be your future husband."

I immediately turned around in surprise, not expecting that person to be reborn yet. I also needed to remind Shunsui that _future husband_ was not accurate. I knew he kept calling my future companion that to nettle me, so I tried not to correct it but I knew from experience if he was telling others in public that it would create misunderstandings. Not the fun kind for me, either, but the headache-inducing kind.

Tragically, it was not my precious company that I missed crazy bunches, but some random fella so I was momentarily disappointed.

I made it a point to not bother meeting most soldiers until they became a captain. I mean, if I ran into them I ran into them, but I sure as shit wasn't going to waste space in my memory to learn their name. My students stopped trying to force me to remember in exchange for preventing Kura from making it rain fire out of boredom.

They really only had themselves to blame. If you got a fire fox demon drunk, gotta expect it to rain hellfire at least once in the night.

Shunsui pulled in a tall man with ruffled pale blond hair, pale complexion, and an overall nervous appearance.

I leaned back from my desk, raising an eyebrow as I waited for Kyōraku to introduce us. The blond man was familiar enough I didn't outright throw him out of my office.

Shunsui Kyōraku, sensing I was in a good mood, shoved the blonde man further inside. "This is Kisuke Urahara. Urahara-san, this is Rirī-sensei who is also captain of the 5th division."

' _Kisuke Urahara. Okay, not fodder.'_

I looked him up and down.

' _Wait, isn't his childhood friend one of_ the _sexiest ladies in Bleachverse? What was her name—ah! Yoruichi.'_

Judging by Kisuke's clothes he had graduated from the academy and was a soldier. That meant Yoruichi was at play too.

' _Few more centuries until Sōsuke takes up his role. Finally feel like we're getting somewhere.'_

"You're cute," I told Kisuke with an easy smile. "I'll make dinner for you if you bring Yoruichi."

"Y-You know her?" Kisuke was surprised, his gray eyes sparkling with curiosity. He was a scientist by heart. He had been placed in the 12th division where he would eventually become a captain. He was manipulative by nature, displaying a soft and easy nature on the surface but underneath was something much colder.

A scientist by heart, indeed. He wouldn't bat an eye at a live dissection of anything that caught his eye, regardless of morality.

It would have been fun if he was a villain. A shame he lacked the ambition.

"Nope. Tonight will be the first time we meet. You, her, and—" I remembered they had a third childhood friend. "—one other guest can start joining us for dinner every Thursday night."

"Woo-hoo! That's more people which means you'll make more food, right, Sensei? Enough for thirds?"

"Fine," I said with a roll of my eyes as Shunsui did a little happy dance. "Brat."

"Um—by what do you mean you and Kyōraku-san?" Kisuke asked.

"Shu-chan, Gen-chan, Ju-chan," I ticked off with my fingers. "And me, obviously."

"Who—?"

"You'll meet everyone at dinner," Shunsui said dismissively. "It'll be great."

Kisuke nervously smiled. It was such a convincing air of anxiety I almost believed him, but it was too perfect to be real. Cunning little stinker. Shunsui shooed him off, saying he'd be behind him after he talked to me.

"Did I get it right? Is that the old soul you know?" Shunsui eagerly asked me.

"Nope. Still got almost a thousand years."

"Jeeze, Sensei. How can you stand to wait that long?"

"He waited for me as a demon queen for ten thousand years, I can wait a couple," I said with a lazy shrug.

"Tell me that story, please."

"Another time, love."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

Kisuke, Yoruichi, and Tessai were quite surprised to find that they were attending dinner with Genryūsai. Yoruichi was able to relax far sooner than the other boys, easily joining in on the friendly banter.

Yoruichi Shihōin was, undeniably, gorgeous. Her dark skin was smooth as glass, and her eyes were like lamp posts at night. Her appearance wasn't the only thing lovely about her. Her sharp wit and easy-going attitude made her endearing. It was easy to see why so many people were taken by her.

Thanks to her, dinner was a smashing success. Not that we normally had issue—Genryūsaii and Shunsui were extroverts and had an easy time keeping the conversation going—but Yoruichi's addition to our discussion made it much more enjoyable. She had a way of knowing exactly what to say to make people laugh. Kisuke was as quiet as Jūshiro, feigning nerves, while Tessai seemed genuinely happy to listen rather than contribute.

They all ate up what I made, everyone taking seconds and several taking thirds.

"I like you," I told her with a smile as I and Jūshiro started to clean up. "You should come by again."

"If you're making food like this I could hardly refuse," Yoruichi easily returned, her voice low and smooth.

"As it so happens I serve breakfast every day at eight hundred sharp. I'll make sure there's enough for two now," I teased.

"Tempting—"

"What? You've never made _us_ breakfast every day," Shunsui jokingly cried out, offended.

"You're not a beautiful lady."

Shunsui looked over at Yoruichi then nodded. "Okay, point."

Genryūsai cleared his throat. "Another wonderful dinner, Sensei."

"As if I would serve anything less."

Tessai was as easy going as Yoruichi as he easily interjected, "I may not be a beautiful lady, but I do love breakfast."

"Okay, that was smooth you can come too."

Shunsui looked betrayed. "The hell, Sensei!"

"Be more charismatic," I flippantly told him.

"I'm plenty charming," Shunsui protested. "Right, Jūshiro-kun?"

Jūshiro Ukitake carefully tucked a pretty white strand of hair behind his ear as he pointedly looked away from Shunsui and refused to answer that question.

"Smart boy," I praised, patting his shoulder. "You can come too, Ju-chan."

"This is what it feels like to be stabbed in the back by a brother," Shunsui sighed dramatically as he flopped back onto the floor from his seat. "I'm dying. I can't go on."

"Go die outside, I just cleaned."

" _So cruel!_ "

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

Starrk and Lilynette had rapidly grown fond of the near-mute Ulquiorra. He could speak, he just chose not to 99% of the time.

During one of my visits with them I was filling them on what was going on the Soul Society, showing them pictures of my students being cute or in embarrassing positions. My favorite was when Shunsui had collapsed on Jūshiro, drunk, and Jūshiro passed out shortly after so the two were drunk cuddling. I tried hanging it up but Jūshiro had a sixth sense for when I did so and always managed to destroy it.

Starrk put Ulquiorra in checkmate, who only stared at the pieces.

"You're getting better buddy," Starrk praised him, his tone oddly brotherly when addressing Ulquiorra. "A couple more decades."

Ulquiorra nodded.

"Here's the hot chocolate," Lilynette said, entering the living room with a tray of steaming hot chocolate that she handed out to everyone. She gave Ulquiorra a straw to sip his through so none of us had to witness... witness... his... mouth... _thing_.

"He settling in okay?" I asked the two from my seat on the couch.

"It's nice to have more company. He's useless with video games," Lilynette said with a roll of his eyes. "Likes to read more than anything, but he's still learning the languages."

"I'm glad he found something he enjoyed to do."

"What made you find him?" Stark asked.

"Oh, I needed to make sure he was gonna be all right for one of my baby girls."

The duo stared at me. Ulquiorra loudly slurped his hot chocolate.

"He's going to kidnap her, you see," I told the two of them cheerfully.

"Sure, okay," Starrk said, nonplussed by that information. "You want us... to... teach him how to kidnap properly?"

"Nah, just be friends. Have fun, enjoy your life."

"I'll enjoy it better if you swear not to play bard again," Lilynette said sweetly.

"You'll have to get me super drunk for that and regrettably I cannot get drunk," I snickered.

"We can try," Lilynette insisted.

"How about _I_ just play DM next game?"

"And deal with your completely unfair and insane quests? No thank you."

"Stinker."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh, the Yhwach arc is convoluted and I hate the plot holes it introduces and shit it leaves hanging. But damn it do I love some of the fights. Really hope we can see them animated one day.
> 
> For those wondering what timeline Lilly / Rirī is using:
> 
> Bleach story starts in the year 2005.
> 
> Ages of people at 2005:
> 
> Ichigo - 15
> 
> Orihime - 15
> 
> Chad - 15
> 
> Uryuyu - 15
> 
> Toshiro - 120+
> 
> Rukia - 150+
> 
> Renji - 180+
> 
> Momo - 180+
> 
> Rangiku - 230+
> 
> Gin - 230+
> 
> Sōsuke - 250+
> 
> Kaname - 250+
> 
> Sajin - 250+
> 
> Byakuya - 300+
> 
> Kisuke - 500+
> 
> Yoruichi - 500+
> 
> Tessai - 500+
> 
> Bazz-B - 1200+
> 
> Jugram - 1200+
> 
> Jūshiro - 1300+
> 
> Shinsui - 1300+
> 
> Unohana - 2100+
> 
> Genryūsai - 2100+
> 
> Rirī (Lilly) - ?
> 
> **Double update~ Because I love you~**


	8. Greenroom VII

It took Shiori a decade to find the boys after being repeatedly sent back into the past in the Quincy-exclusive dimension.

So, I entered a time-stopped limbo and prepared to spend a few centuries bonding with Jugram and Bazz. I made sure to dress myself in a simple dress a village girl might wear as to not immediately alert them I was an old soul posing as Shinigami posing as a Quincy.

Were they considered Quincies or pre-Quincies by that point? I didn't remember.

Give me a break, it had been—it had been—it had been _so_ long ago that I first watched the story. I lost count of how much time had passed, and while I had tricks up my sleeve to remember some stuff it was only the broad strokes. I certainly couldn't tell you the minor details. I didn't even remember Ichigo's mom's name.

Shiori fluttered into existence around Jugram first, and then she opened our soul bond connection. She created an illusion of myself there, and an illusion of Jugram and the surrounding environment where I was in the pocket dimension.

A lot like a holoprojection or VR-interaction, but real enough that it was doubtful anyone would know the wiser. I couldn't physically interact with the world there. Hopefully, that wouldn't be too much of an issue.

She had apparently found Jugram in a quiet forest. We were at a small clearing with grass that stretched up past my waist and waved gently in the wind. The sun was above us, but it was starting to set which told me it was late afternoon or early evening.

Jugram jumped when I stepped out from behind the trees. He was maybe seven, and he clutched nervously at his bow and arrow.

"Hello, dear," I said, keeping my voice low and soothing. "Out hunting?"

"Who are you?" he warily asked.

"I'm Rirī," I introduced myself. "I'm a traveler."

The small, frail, blond boy shifted away from me, his blue eyes assessing me. My own form was small, and likely looked dainty. He must have decided I wasn't a threat because he relaxed after another minute.

"I'm Jugram Haschwalth," Jugram introduced himself. "I need to get back to hunting, so if you'll excuse me—"

"Want help?" I offered. "I'm very good at finding things."

"I—" Jugram fiddled with the bow. "If you... if you can find a rabbit or deer soon, then okay."

Shiori fluttered in front of me. The butterfly had excellent senses when it came to finding souls or living creatures.

"This is my familiar, Shiori," I introduced to the boy. "We just have to follow her."

Jugram was mesmerized by how pretty Shiori was and I couldn't blame him. She was a translucent butterfly whose wings dusted with ice that fell in the light like drops of rainbow. Shiori gracefully flew ahead of us and Jugram and I followed behind her.

As we walked, I quietly corrected Jugram's stance, telling him to keep his weight spread out more. He forgot several times, but he was able to keep his footsteps quiet _enough_ that we could approach a deer.

His eyes were wide when he saw the deer and he immediately started to draw his bow.

"Ease up on your grip," I whispered to him. "A little higher, careful now. Hold it further away from your cheek, don't want to get cut. There, pull back now—"

He released the bow he had drawn and it landed straight through the deer's neck. He gasped in surprise, elation lighting up his face. "I did it! I did it!"

"Very good," I sweetly praised him. "This was fun. Do you want to go hunting again tomorrow?"

"Oh—is that okay?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes. I hope we can become friends."

He blushed at that, the sweet innocent child. "That'd be—that'd be nice. Um, you really know your stuff, huh?"

"I know a thing or two."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

We hunted together for another month, Jugram slowly warming up to me. It was easy to keep him amused, and as long as he found prey for his dinner the boy went back home with a big smile.

I asked about the bruises forming on him, but he was quick to change the subject. When I asked about his family, he was even quicker to talk about something else.

He liked asking me questions instead. He figured out pretty quick that I knew a lot of odd things, like different languages, and I had a plethora of stories. He was interested in learning Latin, as well as Greek, French, and English. He loved stories about underdogs becoming heroes, and he was grateful I took the time to consistently correct his stance.

He was happy he had someone to talk to while he trained and hunted alone.

It was evident that the boy had been lonely.

' _Ahhh. I wish I could just take you back to Soul Society and raise you myself,'_ I griped to myself for the millionth time.

I was only an illusion there, though.

Our peaceful days were interrupted by the arrival of Bazz who had barreled into the clearing Jugram was training in to tell him he was hunting with him today.

Bazz did a double take when he saw me. As a fellow pink-haired anime character, we instantly shared a special connection.

By that I mean he scowled and demanded in a haughty tone, "Who are _you_?"

"I'm Rirī, Jugram's friend," I chirped. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm Bazzard! The Great Bazz! Why are you friends with this loser?"

"That's not very polite," I scolded him.

"It's true," Jugram quietly said.

"Jugram, don't let him call you a loser," I admonished. "You're far too adorable for such things."

Jugram's cheeks turned red and Bazz snorted. "That's stupid reasoning."

"You're stupid," I childishly retorted.

"Take that back, you little girl!"

' _Oh, God, I haven't been called that in a while,'_ I winced. It made sense, though. I was tiny, dressed as a villager, and had a young-looking face. I probably looked close to their age, if a bit older. I couldn't exactly admit to them: _Hey I'm a very old soul who is posing as a Shinigami posing as a Quincy to befriend you and convince you to not follow the genocidal racist in the future. K, thnx._

"I might be a little girl," I hissed through clenched teeth, not wanting to reveal my identity yet, "but I'm a little girl who you'll _never_ catch."

Bazz scoffed then made a grab for me. I danced out of his way and stuck out my tongue in a clear taunt.

The game was on.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

Bazz made it a goal to try and catch me every time he was in the area. Jugram didn't do much to stop him, the timid boy kept agreeing that Bazz was better than him every time Bazz taunted him. It was hard to keep encouraging Jugram when he wouldn't truly accept my words, but I did my best. He was a nice child and deserved better.

Bazz was endearing the same way a drunk dwarf was endearing. Which meant he was hecka funny when riled up.

It was hilarious when he made a grab at me and missed. His ears would turn red, and his cheeks would puff out. His little tantrums were rather adorable. He clearly hadn't had to deal with a lot of obstacles or frustrations in his life yet, he was supposed to be a prodigy, after all. Although he was unaware that Jugram's gift of empowerment was what granted him a lot of power.

The three of us hunted together, trained together, and swapped stories. It went on in for a couple of years, the boys bright-eyed and endearing.

They reminded me of my students.

Eventually, three years passed.

Not much considering the time I had already spent in that universe, but it was three years with only those two boys as my company.

On a lovely evening, Jugram caught a few rabbits all by himself. His blue eyes were shining as he held one out to me and said, "Rirī-chan, I've caught plenty this time, why don't you take one?"

I shook my head, smiling softly at Jugram. "Don't worry about it, Jugram-kun. Go home and eat your fill."

Bazz hopped into the clearing, triumphantly carrying a buck. "Heh. Only rabbits, Jugram?"

"Yes," Jugram pleasantly agreed. "I'm offering one to Rirī-chan."

"She can take part of this buck. It's big enough to share," Bazz boasted.

"I'm sorry boys, I can't take either," I said with another shake of my head.

Bazz was perturbed. "How come? Don't you eat?"

' _I guess it's been long enough_.'

"I'm afraid I'm cursed," I half-lied-half-admitted to. "The Soul King cursed me so I can't—I can't touch anything in this world."

Their eyes widened in disbelief. Immediately, Jugram dropped the rabbits and grabbed my hand, but it went straight through since it was an illusion.

"How?" he whispered in disbelief.

"Why—why would—?" Bazz tried to grab me, and I didn't avoid him so he also passed through me. "All this time? What happened?"

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I hope we can still be friends."

"Of course," Jugram was quick to reassure, his eyes darkening with anger and sadness. "I wish—is there anything we can do? Do you know how to undo the curse?"

"Only the Soul King can."

"That's bullshit," Bazz muttered, staring at his hand that had passed through me. His face was screwed up in fury. "I'll kick his ass!"

I giggled softly. "Careful, Bazz-kun. I wouldn't want you to be cursed, either."

"Rirī-chan..." Jugram trailed off, his gaze downcast. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I'm sure one day I'll be able to properly hug you," I tried to reassure the kind child.

"H-Hug?" Jugram's face turned beet red and he straightened up. "O-O-Oh."

Bazz snorted, rolling his eyes. "You'll do more than that. We'll find a way, Rirī-chan, just trust us."

"Okay," I placated them. I was tempted to just tell them to come to Soul Society, but I wasn't even sure they _could_. I had no idea how they crossed over in the invasion, it could have been something only Yhwach could make possible. Or maybe the Soul King had a barrier that would prevent them from going over without Yhwach. No clue.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

More years went by. The two boys were eager to keep me company, perhaps out of pity that I was unable to leave the clearing—as far as they knew.

It was rather peaceful. Certainly very relaxing, which made the time slip by like a pleasant dream. After the boys went home at the end of the day I would linger in the clearing that I had originally met Jugram in, then disappear for a handful of seconds as I forced time to bring us forward to the next day. One day at a time, the march went on.

I taught Jugram several languages, and he had become superb at the bow and arrow under my tutelage. Bazz picked up my penchant for story telling and memorized some of his favorite fantasy adventures I told.

The boys were growing up, while I stayed the same.

Some days I could see the hurt in their eyes; the pity.

It was nice of them to care so much, but it wouldn't do them much good.

On bad days they would argue. On good days they would laugh.

On terrible days they would come to me with bruises and sad smiles.

On the best days, they stayed out all day and night to keep me company.

I wasn't sure exactly how long I stayed in that world. Time passed differently in that special little pocket dimension. All I knew was that in what felt like a blink of an eye the boys had become teenagers.

Jugram blushed when I giggled, and Bazz's voice cracked when he got too excited. They both were eager to prove themselves, albeit Jugram was more reserved in showing it.

Things were going well. Perhaps I could take a break to try and figure out how to bring them over into the Soul Society. If I could take some time to research how Yhwach crossed over in the first place, I could tell the boys to run away before Yhwach ever found them.

They could come to the Soul Society and I would take them under my wings. I'd remove two players from Yhwach's game before he even had a chance to grab them.

I knew Yhwach wouldn't expect it.

He could only see the timelines tied to that one dimension we were in. He could only see the one realm, the one reality of the Bleachverse. He could see deviations of it, but they all had to remain in that one realm.

That one realm no longer existed because I was there. I did not belong here, and his sight would not work any better on me than it would on Superman or Nagash.

Arguably even more so because I was Blessed, and he was but a fragment of a fragment.

I had high hopes. My hard work over the past years seemed like it was going to bear fruit.

And then shit hit the fan.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

One day, I moved to the next just as I normally did but it turned out to be a very bad day. A terrible day. The worst day.

"Rirī-chan!" Jugram entered the clearing I normally appeared in, smiling with relief. "I was worried... you're not hurt?"

"Hurt?" I echoed, looking the teenager up and down. I noticed his clothes were torn and singed.

' _Um... Oh! Right. Yhwach takes over all the villages to build his kingdom of racism. He must have attacked their village earlier then.'_

"I'm fine," I reassured him, offering him a comforting smile. "Are you? Did you get hurt?"

"I'm okay now—actually—I'm better than okay," said Jugram softly, his eyes clouding. "Rirī-chan, I need to tell you something."

"Okay?" I asked, a little concerned at where it was going.

' _Wait... if Yhwach attacked the village... did he... did he already recruit Jugram?'_

He moved to touch me, then looked even sadder that he could not. Absurdly sad. Sadder than I had ever seen him. He looked like a kicked puppy who lost its entire family. Oof. It hurt to look at him he was so dang sad.

"Um." I stared at him, alarmed by how open he was displaying his emotions. He hadn't been one to show such a vulnerable side. Even on the bad days he did his best to put on a fake smile for me.

"I have to go, Rirī-chan."

"Why?"

"I've met someone. A great man that I respect. He's taking me on his conquests."

"Please don't," I blurted out. All that time spent warming up to him in his childhood would be meaningless if he just went to Ywacha! I wouldn't be able to visit him if he stayed near him because of the added barrier Dickwad Soul King added.

"I'm sorry," Jugram told me, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Rirī-chan, visiting you was the only thing that got me through the nights. I—how I feel for you will never change."

"Then don't go!"

"I must. He might... I might be able to find a way to save you. Goodbye, Rirī-chan... I hope... I hope you can forgive me."

I wanted to cry. All that effort. All those years were about to go down the drain. Tears of frustration picked at my eyes. Jugram looked positively heartbroken as he left.

' _What the fuck? And why did that sound like he broke up with me or something?'_

Bazz stepped out next, looking worse for wear than Jugram. He had a sad smile on his face as I turned to look at him disbelief.

"Not you too," I bemoaned.

"Sorry, Rirī-chan," he apologized, his tone surprisingly gentle. "When—when we have the power to take you with us, we'll come back."

"What's that supposed to mean? Just don't go—"

But he left too.

' _DAMN IT.'_

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

"I am fucking exhausted," I groaned as I left the time stasis and hopped back into the Now Soul Society. Genryūsai had apparently been waiting for me in my kitchen as he was raiding my cookie jar.

He looked at me, looked down at the cookies in his hands, then wordlessly offered one to me.

"Why are you exhausted already?"

"You cram fifteen years in an hour and see how you feel," I grumbled, accepting the cookie. "I need cuddles."

Genryūsai wordlessly held up his arms and I hugged my student. "There, there, Sensei. There, there."

"I think I got dumped, too."

"What?"

"Yeah. It's been a crazy hour."

"I didn't know you were dating anyone. I thought you were waiting for your future husband to be reborn."

"I didn't know I was dating him either."

"Oh, Sensei..."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _  
> **What happened with Jugram and Bazz?**  
>  _
> 
> _  
> **Did Rirī get one-sidedly dumped?**  
>  _
> 
> _  
> **Can Yhwach's powers even work on her or does the troll have a trolly plan in mind?**  
>  _
> 
> _  
> **Will the Soul King get its soap opera it so desperately craves this time around?**  
>  _
> 
> Tune in several dozen chapters later for those answers. Onwards, we march closer to the start!
> 
> Minor note: I did go back to earlier chapters to make some corrections. Stark - Starrk; lieutenant - vice captain; consistent honorifics; using first names instead of lasts; and other small stuff like that. 
> 
> **Answer** : Deredere.
> 
>  **Question** : Has anyone else had to mentally break up with an anime/game/book crush when you get a new crush? Nope? Just me? Shit. Okay, longest anime/game/book crush you've had?


	9. Greenroom VIII

My office was lined with shōji (traditional Japanese sliding doors) that I normally always kept open. My flooring was primarily tatami mats, although I did have carpet in the bedroom. There was a circular window above my desk where I had hung a potted plant over it. My desk was low to the floor, as I preferred using zaisu (floor chairs) over western chairs. It made it  _ so  _ much easier to flop onto the floor for a quick nap.

In my office I kept a kotatsu table with plenty of zabuton (floor cushions for seating) around it. Every day my kotatsu had some kind of freshly baked treat that I prepared at around two in the morning because I did not need sleep so I got bored at night if no one was keeping me company. It became a routine after the first decade. Wake up at two, bake something, tend to the sheep, then do whatever duties I needed to do as captain of the 5th division.

That was about the end of my "traditional" style.

The barracks for the 5th division was the prettiest and most feminine. That was because I literally made it with my own two hands and decided to practice my woodworking skills.

Hey, I had  _ thousands  _ of years to kill before the story finally rolled around. Picking up odd hobbies were a necessity to keep me from starting wars out of sheer fucking boredom.

Unsurprisingly after a while, I used my skills on my division barracks.

Every single post and wall had some kind of woodworking design hammered into it. Most of it was flowers, or feminine-esque designs because it was  _ so  _ not want Genryūsai would want one of his badass military divisions to look like. To that day, over a thousand years since I made the change, Genryūsai would still wrinkle his brow as he glared at the flowers every time he had to visit the barracks.

A couple centuries ago he even had the audacity to swap out all my pretty artwork for standard, uncultured, plain ol'  _ wood _ when I went out on a long term mission.

In retaliation, I gave the first division a fabulous hot-pink makeover.

What followed over the next century could only be described as an incredibly petty war between student and teacher.

It was hard to claim that I won just because I got my flowery barracks because my cunning student got me to promise not to decorate the other barracks without their captain's permission.

So many wasted opportunities to make people miserable went out the window because of that.

But I got my pretty barracks.

Shunsui was sprawled out on the tatami mat floor, his head resting in my lap as I continued to work on my paperwork. Snuggles had taken over the katotatsu table in the center of the room to review the paperwork I had completed.

The Gotei 13 weren't a coherent unit. Most of the divisions had different goals and beliefs, and those were up to change every time there was a new captain; which happened at least once a century. The only consistent captains were Genryūsai, Shunsui, Jūshirō, Retsu, and myself. Last century we had five different captains for the 12th division, although the current one—Kirio Hikifune—seemed likely to last for at least another century. If I remembered correctly she'd be transferring to the Royal Guard eventually though.

The 5th division had taken over "special" or "difficult" missions that the other divisions weren't capable of handling. Either because they already lost too much fodder previously, or lacked the intelligence to make a trusted decision. We handled the purges, too. 

We also managed the budgets for the Gotei 13. Genryūsai sucked ass at math, Retsu was liable to kill someone who went over budget, Shunsui also sucked ass at math, and Jūshirō was too soft to discipline morons who went over budget. All the other divisions had captains who didn't last long enough to bother transitioning it over.

I didn't  _ like  _ to do the accounting side of it, but it was better than having to deal with the politics like Genryūsai did. Would much rather do paperwork then have to pretend to care about the opinion of some noble who would die before I even bothered to learn their name.

Plus, when a division went over budget I got to discipline them! It was a chance to test my creativity. My favorite was when a stupid little fodder went over budget for his mission, then had the gall to complain to  _ me  _ that I hadn't given him enough money in the first place. For a mission to kill  _ one  _ hollow. One. Hollow. Yet he somehow needed thousands of kan (the currency used for Soul Society).

I tied each of his limbs to a different wood post and let him hang out in the sun for a month.

It'd been a decade since someone went over budget and I was itching to try out a new idea.

Shunsui sneezed into his elbow then rubbed at his nose.

"Doing okay?" I asked him, pausing in my arithmancy to look down at the sleepy boy.

Okay, he might've looked mid-twenties and had lived for several centuries in his second life but his soul was as young and innocent as fresh snowfall so he felt like a baby boy to me.

"Yeah," Shunsui said, looking over at Snuggles. "Why's he a cat?"

"Come again?"

"I've been thinking about it for a long time. Why did you make him a cat? You said you gave him that body to use while he's here. Why a cat? Kura I get, because he's a nine-tailed fox demon. Shiori said she's your contract summon and that's her true form, but Snuggles… Snuggles isn't a cat, yet you made him a cat."

"Huh. Well, his true form tends to make people cry when they see him. I went for the most opposite thing I could think of to it."

"What exactly is he, Sensei?" Shunsui asked with a raised eyebrow, intrigued.

"Ah—hmm—he's—" I struggled to find the words to aptly describe Snuggles. The black panther lazily looked up from using his telekinesis to work on paperwork, but then went back to ignoring us. "Mm. He's kind of the result of—ah—hmm—I got a little arrogant."

Shunsui sat up from where he laid on the floor, his expression expectant and full of curiosity.

I coughed, a little embarrassed. "As you know I'm an old soul who has lived on other worlds."

Shunsui nodded. I had told Shunsui, Jūshirō, and Genryūsai the truth of what I was centuries ago—and Starrk and Lilynette. I trusted them to keep it quiet. It made it easier to explain when I had to slip into my true form to rest and needed someone to cover for me. It was also how I explained to them how I got my "teammates." I was honest and told them they were old friends who donated a portion of their reiatsu into the bodies I created.

For the most part my teammates kept to their animal forms. In the rare appearance they needed to work with others sometimes they would turn into a human. Well, Shiori would create an illusion of a human woman with a butterfly mask and short curly white hair. Kura was able to properly transform into a long-haired redhead bishie. 

Snuggles flat out refused. He didn't speak to anyone, either. His communication was solely nonverbal and he only ever listened to me.

It intrigued a lot of Shinigami who wanted to understand more about the odd panther who could blast absurdly powerful hadō like it was nothing, and who had such finite control over telekineses he had the prettiest handwriting in all Soul Society (it was voted on, he won much to Jūshirō’s disbelief).

"In one of these words," I tentatively said, "the barrier was thin between it and a couple other worlds. I—er—thought it would be funny to tear down the barrier and let them all… have a cross over."

Shunsui whistled. "Wow, what happened?"

"War. Completely badass war," I answered. "It was amazing. Only one world was left standing and it was  _ not  _ the world I expected to win. But—er—in the process of those—ehh—ten thousand years a lot of—ah—ah—things were created. Snuggles is the result of someone trying to make a mind-flaying-Cthulhu-Blessed-faceless-one-incubus-uhhh…"

_ ‘I feel like I'm missing two other species.’ _

"A lot of things that should never, ever, come together into one creature," I settled on. "Anyway. It was my fault he was brought into existence so I took him in. He normally stays on Azeroth, but he was curious about visiting other dimensions so here he is."

"What's a mind flayer?"

"I assure you: you do not want to know."

"Cthulhu Blessed?"

"Just a child by Cthulhu."

"Faceless one?"

"A creature whose face is so—er—terrible it drives people insane the longer they look at it. It's really just a passive aura."

"Sounds pretty terrifying so far."

"Yeah. He's a big boy," I said, reaching over to scratch the top of Snuggles' head. "His tentacles can get kinda messy though."

"Ah. Good to know."

Jūshirō stepped into my office, holding a bag of candy and a sweet smile. "Rirī-sensei they had a candy sale in town, want to have some with me? Oh, hi Shunsui-kun."

"Come on in, Ju-chan," I said, waving him in from where I sat at my desk. Shunsui laid back down on the floor, placing his head back in my lap. "I've still got some biscuits made if you want to have that with the candy.”

"Hey Jūshirō-kun," Shunsui said with a lazy wave of his hand. "I'll take some of that candy too if that's okay."

Jūshirō laughed softly. "Of course. Avoiding your fukutaichō again?"

"Yep."

Jūshirō set the candy down on the desk, took a seat on the floor, then laid back and used Shunsui's stomach as a pillow.

"You know, children, I have a spare room if you're wanting to nap," I said wryly.

"We're good," they said.

"Are you staying for dinner?"

"Yes," they said.

"You're cleaning up afterward."

"Okay, Sensei."

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**1617 a.d.**

Ulquiorra was a silent shadow in Starrk and Lilynette's home. When Starrk went down to his underground library, he'd pick out a book for Ulquiorra to read and the two would sit side by side on the couch and read. If Lilynette was in a good enough mood she opened up her office door and would let Ulquiorra sit behind her and watch her program, draw, or write.

On nice days the three of them would play games together. Video games were fun, but their favorite would always be board games. Knife monopoly was always a joy.

I would show up on the weekends and I'd bring treats. Sometimes we all played one big game together—such as D&D—and other times we would relax and chat. They were excellent listeners when I needed to complain about stupid stuff going on in Soul Society.

They were very kind when I told them how much I missed my dearest companion, and how anxious I was for them to be reborn. They cheered me up the best way they knew how: cuddles and cocoa. Ulquiorra wasn't the best at cuddling, but he sure as heck liked cocoa. We even got him a special straw for him to always be prepared to drink cocoa.

One must never be under prepared to accept hot cocoa.

I had to say I was very happy with my progress on the three future Espadas I had found. Starrk and Lilynette were such lovely souls. Waiting in Hueco Mundo with nothing to do would have been mind numbingly boring, so I was happy to provide them stimulus. I was even happier to provide them company—and now with Ulquiorra they had even more company!

Ulquiorra was still near-mute, but Lilynette told me in private he seemed to like being near the two. He was rarely alone in a room since having been invited to live with them.

He was also starting to build a natural resistance to their reiatsu. Maybe after another century he wouldn't need me to re-apply a barrier of my own reiatsu around him to keep him safe. That'd save me some time, since I constantly had to re-apply the barrier around their home to keep it hidden from Shinigami and Hollows. It took a solid hour out of my weekend bonding time which was super annoying.

Ulquiorra tugged on my hair when I arrived one weekend in 1617.

I tilted my head, "Yes, dear?"

Ulquiorra pointed out one of the windows, I followed the direction of his finger but found nothing. Raising an eyebrow, I turned to look back at him.

"You said you were looking for a cat," he mumbled, continuing to point out the window.

"Ah, yes?"

"I sensed something outside the barrier, and I saw a cat hollow earlier."

"You saw—" Immediately, I bolted out the front door and began a mad search for—

"HELL YEAH!" I shrieked, fist-pumping the air because I so definitely found Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez pre-Arrancar.

I proceeded to kidnap the white panther baby boy, who yelped and started to flail about, before brining him back home to Lilynette and Starrk's house. Grimmjow's howls caught their attention and they met me in the front room where Ulquiorra was calmly drinking some hot cocoa he made for himself.

"Say hi to your new baby brother," I exclaimed.

"PUT ME DOWN YOU FUCKING SHINIGAMI BITCH—"

"He needs to be house trained," I apologized. "But I promise he'll be good company after you break him in."

Lilynette squealed, "Yay! I always wanted a pet. Although he's not fluffy..."

I had forgotten to place a reiatsu barrier around Grimmjow before introducing him to Starrk and Lilynette so he passed out from their pressure. I applied it immediately afterward, feeling a little guilty about it.

"I have good reason to believe that when he turns into a Vasto Lorde he'll have super fluffy and soft hair. You should take him hunting with Ulquiorra. Think of it as a fun family activity."

"Family activity?" Starrk's eyes lit up.

"Yep. We're a family, aren't we?"

"Family," Starrk repeated the word with a big goofy grin on his face. Starrk slung an arm around Ulquiorra. "One big family, right my little brother?"

Ulquiorra nodded as he continued to sip his hot cocoa.

"And now we've got a cat brother," Lilynette cooed. "This is like so many otome games—"

"Oh my gosh you're right—" I gushed. "Remember  _ Dandelion _ ?"

"This instantly makes me want to replay it—"

Lilynette and I continued to bond over video games while Starrk pat the unconscious Grimmjow, and Ulquiorra stared off into the distance, quietly enjoying his hot cocoa.

It was a good day.

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

One might wonder, since I was over sixteen hundred years in, what political changes I had made in the story. 

Soul Society consisted of the Rukongai and the Seireitei. The special little Quincy bubble existed elsewhere but that was inaccessible because of bullshit reasons. Those two areas existed in the original play, as well as my own version. There wasn’t much need to actively change the politics.

It was my first time living through a version of it. Like playing through a game, except the reset button meant literal thousands of years of hard work down the drain. I didn’t want to drastically change the settings from something close to feudal Japan to say matriarchal monarchy, or permanent warmongering without knowing what havoc it would cause later on. For example if I went from a patriarchal society (as it currently was) to matriarchal the Shōnen Hero would turn into a female and a really convoluted romance plot was  _ always  _ thrown in. Triangles were so awkward to deal with in person. Rather avoid that whole mess if possible. 

The Rukongai area was divided into three hundred and twenty districts—eighty in each of the traditional directions of North, South, East, and West. They were ordered in numbered descending from how far they were from the center of Soul Society. The further away one lived from the center, the closer to poverty they became. The outer districts were referred to as slums. 

Now, while they were “slums” they couldn’t be considered equivalent to the human world “slums.” A lot of my free time was done in maintaining infrastructure, and early in its development I implemented a hygiene department that managed all districts equally. The “slums” were poorer in general, but they weren’t dirty by any stretch of the imagination. The roads were well-maintained, and every district had access to free, filtered water, so no one had any excuse not to bathe regularly. 

That  _ was  _ a purposeful change, but I doubted it’d have much of an impact on the story. It was a necessity for my quality of life. I had lived through enough feudal and medieval times that any time I had a chance to set up plumbing earlier on the timeline… damn straight I was going to. Urgh. Just remembering the lifetimes of people literally dumping their feces out onto the street with men peeing out the windows…  _ eurgh _ .

That being said, the Rukongai outer districts were still rather poor in comparison to the inner districts and the Seireitei. 

Heck, if there were too many souls lingering in the Rukongai district instead of passing on to reincarnation the Shinigami would  _ literally  _ massacre tens of thousands of them to restore balance. Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, and the World of the Living were carefully balanced between the three. If any world had an overflow, it was up to the Shinigami to trim.

My division did the trimming. There was only one incident in the past where Genryūsai was in such a sour mood he wanted to do it instead. 

The trims didn’t happen terribly often—perhaps once every two centuries?—but it was easy for anyone to conclude which district tended to get the worst of it. 

Poor slums. Better luck next life. 

When a soul arrived in Soul Society—usually from the human world, but sometimes redeemed Hollows would come along disguised as humans—they’d receive a ticket according to the time they died and sent off in different directions. Even if two people were to perish together, if they did not receive the tickets at the same time they would not know where the other was. Families from the first life were rarely reunited in the Soul Society, only if they all perished together at the same moment would they get to stay together. Consequently, the Rukongai is full of families that are not related by blood, they were usually those who died at the same time. 

Although not  _ everyone  _ in Soul Society was someone who died in the world of the living them moved over. Plenty of them were naturally born there. Women could get just as pregnant in Soul Society as they could in the human world. 

Everything else about Rukongai operated very close to the human world. People took jobs to afford living. Even if they did not  _ need  _ to eat, eating was enjoyable and a lot of souls still wanted to partake in it. They would  _ survive  _ doing literally nothing, but that wasn’t very fun, was it? So they formed families, took jobs, or trained to become a Shinigami. There were shops, schools, parks, and so on. Been to one village in feudal Japan, or at least seen a semi-accurate video of one, it was easy to picture what Rukongai was like.

Seireitei was at the center of Soul Society. It was a circular shiro with four main entrances, each of them about a ten day's walk from each other for an average Shinigami. The gates were rather arrogantly dubbed Shidai Seireimon (the Four Great Pure Gates), each in a traditional direction. 

The walls of Seireitei were made of Sekkiseki, a type of stone used to negate reiatsu. Additionally, the stone formed a spherical barrier around the city to prevent anything from breaching it from ground, sky, or underground. The barrier that surrounded Seireitei was usually held up, only closing down when an emergency occurs. They would  _ not  _ lift around the Soul King Palace, which rested in the center of Seireitei in its own little pocket dimension. 

The only residents of Seireitei were Shinigami and nobles. 

The nobles were… dull. I didn’t do much with them. I knew a few of the families helped create the city—either by loaning their manpower, money, or knowledge—but they were ultimately useless. None of them posed any kind of threat, and they really only served to cause drama which amused the Soul King. 

There were five-turned-four families that originally arose to greatness in the original story.

There were only three in my story by 1617 a.d.

I definitely massacred one of them. 

To be honest, I wasn’t sure which of the noble families I had slaughtered over the past sixteen hundred years was meant to be a “great” noble family. All I knew was that the canonical story had five-turned-four, and presently there were only three: Shihōin (Yoruichi’s family), Kuchiki (Byakuya’s), and Hanako (???). 

I didn’t even know if Hanako was one of the original either. I couldn’t remember the other families anymore. 

For all I knew I killed off more of the originals without realizing it.

Oh well. Probably didn’t matter. They really were only included because the Soul King had a thing for watching noble politics. I personally didn’t see much joy in it, but it was its world. I was merely giving it an AU of it. 

The government of the Soul Society was a touch odd. The main body of bureaucrats was the Central 46. They handled the laws, and every day governing of Soul Society. They were made up of noble or brilliant fodder that helped build the economy, establish laws, and so on. After their first century in action, their authority switched from typical government to “we mandate what the Soul King wants.”

Arguably bullshit, but whatever. The Soul King did not directly influence the government, it was a passive watcher by nature. No part of it cared whether they should start taxing food stalls, or whatever. It’d reach out if there was an imbalance, or if it wanted to cause trouble for the sake of trouble. 

It didn’t matter what they claimed to be acting on. Genryūsai had no interest in managing all of Soul Society. The Shinigami he wanted was closer to act as enforcers than politicians, so he was all too happy to hand that over to the Central 46.

Didn’t stop me from massacring them a thousand years ago when they tried to convince me the Soul King wanted me to sell my extremely pampered and well-bred sheep or else face heavy taxes. 

Arrogant little stinkers. 

And that was also why I was politely asked by Genryūsai to refrain from interacting with the Central 46 unless necessary. The Central 46 also kept in mind that it was ideal to stay in my good graces and most importantly: Not. Touch. My. Fluffy. Babehs. 

Which was very good for them. They were more likely to live longer that way. 

The Shinigami operated with the Central 46. Their only official mandate was to maintain the order of Soul Society, and protect the Soul King. Each division had its own unique goals and responsibilities, the first of which changed on who was the captain. 

My division’s  _ main  _ goals were to handle things the others could not, purging, and accounting. Special missions did not occur too often as other divisions were at loathe to admit they needed help. Purging was tragically rare. That meant that a good portion of my time was spent on paperwork, which gave me a _ lot  _ of free time. The actual work took, maybe, three days of my week if I worked with Snuggles? 

I probably  _ could  _ take on another responsibility but I was too lazy. 

Overall, the end result was the politics was close  _ enough  _ to canon that I didn’t foresee any dramatic change in it regarding Aizen’s plan and the whole Quincy invasion part two fiasco. Hopefully something in the middle would crop up to make it more interesting, but who knew.

The Soul Society was a realm very similar to feudal Japan with governing politicians and an absurdly powerful, and sometimes dangerously bored, military force. 

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**Extra - Genryūsai**

Genryūsai slipped into Rirī's office. On her desk was Kura who was sleeping over a stack of paperwork. The small red fox's ears flicked toward Genryūsai, but Kura did not wake up. Had Genryūsai displayed any kind of malice, he knew Kura would be wide awake and snarking at him.

Genryūsai was fondest of Kura out of all of Rirī's summoned friends. The fox was warm, soft, and made for some excellent company when Genryūsai was stuck dealing with paperwork. At the end of a long day dealing with the politics—especially the court of Central 46—Kura had a talent for insulting the bureaucrats in such a way it always made Genryūsai laugh.

Silently, Genryūsai moved throughout the apartment Rirī had built for the 5th division. It always had a subtle smell of bread and butter, likely due to how frequently Rirī baked.

His teacher was nowhere to be found, but that was expected. Every weekend she finished her paperwork early then went off to play games with "a few old pals." He wandered through the polished wooden walls until he found her bedroom. He carefully opened the door, peering inside to find Snuggles sprawled onto her bed and fast asleep.

Genryūsai pulled out a little box wrapped in pink paper before he set it on her bed.

_ ‘Happy birthday,’  _ Genryūsai thought to himself as he prepared to leave.

Ever since Rirī had taken Genryūsai in, she had celebrated each of his birthdays with special cake, presents, and kisses on the nose. When he was smaller, she would swoop him up into her arms and toss him into the air only to catch him when he fell. She had told him Every year that she got spend with him was one to be celebrated.

Genryūsai did not have much of a family prior to Rirī taking him in. He could remember loud fights, and the smell of something sour, but the rest was a blur of blood and darkness. Back then family meant little to him.

Now, though?

Now when someone asked about his family, his first thought was Rirī.

Genryūsai snuck back out the way he came, a whistle on his lips.

He would have liked to stay and see her face when she got back, but she'd immediately know something was up when she sensed him in her apartment. Rirī never told Genryūsai her true birthday—she had forgotten it—and she was the type of person to get bored celebrating the same day every year  _ just  _ for herself.

So Genryūsai would surprise her with little birthday presents. Some years she got two. Some years she got none. Every celebration would be on a different day.

It was the surprise that mattered the most to her.

And it really seemed like the least Genryūsai could do for someone as precious to him as her.

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**Extra 2**

"No, no, Kisuke-chan, don't stop stirring," I scolded as Kisuke almost burned another pot of sugar.

"S-Sorry, Rirī-taichō," Kisuke mumbled apologetically, starting to stir better.

Yoruichi sat on the kitchen counter, watching as I taught Kisuke to make kohakutou. I made a pineapple smoothie for her to drink while we cooked. She paused in her drinking to ask,"Why is he doing this again?"

"Because it's vital he learns how to make candy," I answered her.

"Why again?"

"It's an essential life skill for him."

Kisuke's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"Trust me. You'll thank me in a few centuries. Keep stirring or we're going to start over again."

Kisuke looked to his captain for help. Yoruichi stared back at him impassively, then wordlessly accepted the plate of cookies I handed to her as a bribe.

She looked him dead in the eye and said, "Obey the nice lady who makes me food, Kisuke-kun."

Kisuke sighed for the tenth time that morning.

“Less sighing, more stirring.”

“Yes, Rirī-taichō.”

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**Extra 3**

**Requested moments of D &D with Rirī**

"Wait… you're not banning any races?" Rirī asked Lilynette as they set up their table mat.

"Nope! I've worked really hard on making this campaign. I want you guys to have a lot of fun playing it," Lilynette chirped.

Rirī smiled. It was not a nice smile. It was the kind of smile that Lilynette and Stark would later come to understand that Rirī suddenly found something delightful to play with. More specifically, some _ one _ to toy with.

"Okay. I'll go with an aarakocra bard," Rirī said with a sweet voice.

"Okay!"

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

"... you have arrived at the perilous pit of pure terror," Lilynette narrated, her eyes lit up with delight. The first of the pitfalls she had prepared for them to face. "The only way across is through the Bridge of Trials where you must undergo a series of complicated riddles."

"Roll for my aarakocra to fly over the pit."

"Wha—"

"Roll for my aarakocra to fly over the pit," Rirī repeated with that saccharine smile.

"Fuck. Fine"

Natural 20.

" _ Fuck! _ "

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

"And now," Lilynette continued to narrate with a flourish, "your team is faced with foulest, most vile, woman known to all of Narzia. She who has brought entire countries to their knees, who has revels in bloodshed, and chaos. She, considered to be the Mistress of Evil, smirks at your party and says,  _ Who dares disturb my slumber? _ "

"Roll to seduce."

"Rirī. No. Please."

Rirī's smile stretched even wider.

"You have seduced  _ everyone, _ " Lilynette cried out. "You have a harem army behind you to fight this lady,  _ please no!" _

"Roll. To. Seduce."

Lilynette whimpered as Rirī rolled.

Natural 20.

"GOD. FUCKING. DAMN IT."

**( ・_・)ノ⌒●~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is why Rirī is not allowed play bard or any race that can fly ever again. 
> 
> **Answer:** Yes. Literally every time I started a VN.
> 
> **Question:** Favorite game to play?
> 
> Reviews are  **love** !


	10. Greenroom IX

Kisuke quickly tempered the chocolate, using the scoops to glide it across the chilled slab of marble in the kitchen.

"That's it," I praised him. "You're really getting the hang of candy making now."

"I should hope so after doing it for—how many years has it been?"

"Gosh, I don't remember."

Kisuke's lips twitched into a ghost of a smile. Yoruichi let out a very quiet snore, and curled closer to me. Yoruichi and I were under the kotatsu table. It was winter so I had set up the heater underneath it. Coupled that with a thick, cozy blanket, and it was hard not to nap under it.

The 2nd division captain had returned from a year-long investigation in the Rukongai outer districts. Something about some corrupt nobles starting up a sex slave market which was a big fat No-No in Soul Society. One family she had hidden with had really helped her out, so she included in her report to see if they could be moved into Seireitei and sponsor a few of their members into the academy.

I had to admit it was alarming to read that part of the report. Yoruichi really took a shine to someone named Isshin Shiba.

Isshin was the name of Ichigo's dad, but I didn't recognize the last name. I had no clue when Ichigo's father was even supposed to be born. I was still a few centuries away before I really had to be concerned about that.

' _Isshin,'_ I thought to myself as I read the report. ' _Heck, why not? I'll second her sponsor to move the family into Seireitei. I've got enough money to pay for Isshin's admittance to the academy, too.'_

Who knew. If he did well enough he could elevate his family status to that of a noble.

' _Pfft. Yeah, right.'_

My eyes narrowed as I continued to stare at the name.

' _My protagonist senses are tingling. It_ can't _be the same Isshin, can it? Let's see… when was he supposed to have been the 10th division Captain? Was it before or after the Hollowfication incident?'_

I couldn't remember. The current 10th division captain was Kensei Muguruma. Kensei had originally been the 9th division captain, but since I stole the 5th division for myself it caused all kinds of whacky shenanigans with who captained the divisions now.

' _Guess I'll just have to see him at the academy and confirm first hand.'_

Yoruichi had returned from the mission that very day, took a shower, then came over to my place to work on her report while I made her comfort food. She crawled right under the kotatsu, wrote up her with one hand, and ate freshly baked buttered rolls with the other. As soon as her report was finished she had flopped back onto the tatami mats and fell into a food coma. Kisuke came back later that evening, which lead us to the current situation.

I looked back down at Yoruichi's report, correcting some of her grammatical mistakes that likely occurred due to her exhaustion. Kisuke scraped off the tempered chocolate from the marble, adding it into the double broiler to be reheated into a glaze. With a careful hand, I adjusted the kotatsu blanket over Yoruichi and myself, taking care not to wake the tired captain.

By the time I finished the first half of Yoruichi's report, Kisuke had completed making his bonbons. He stuck the plate of them in the freezer, then crawled under the kotatsu on my other side.

"Is there anything better than relaxing under a heated kotatsu in winter?" Kisuke sighed happily, laying back on the ground.

"Not many things can compete," I said with an easy smile. "You look as haggard as Yorui-chan."

"It was a rough mission," Kisuke admitted.

Yoruichi's eyes slowly opened. She yawned, sitting back up and rubbing at them. "Time is it?"

"Oh, I'd say around twenty hundred," I answered. "You can sleep over if you like. I can finish reviewing your report then make you some breakfast in the morning. Anything you'd like."

"This is why I love you," Yoruichi sleepily murmured.

"I love you too, dearie," I said, patting the top of her head. "Kisuke-chan, the offer is open to you, as well. I have plenty of guest rooms."

"I'd rather stay under the kotatsu," Kisuke admitted, pulling the blanket up to his shoulders then sighing happily once more.

"Seconded," Yoruichi agreed. "I wish I could be a cat. Then I could put my whole body underneath."

"If you turn into a cat in front of me I'm liable to give you chin scratches."

"I am absolutely okay with that."

I stretched my arms up in the air. "Next time you come over—excluding pancake Mondays of course—Kisuke-chan, we'll make some pocky."

"Pocky?"

"Oh yeah. They're great, you can play the pocky game."

"Pocky game?" Yoruichi and Kisuke repeated with curiosity.

Feeling a surge of mischief, I smirked coyly and asked, "Want to play?"

"Sure," replied Kisuke as he curiously cocked his head.

I crawled out from under the blanket. I hopped up and went over to my kitchen cabinet to pull out the jar of chocolate pocky sticks I had made earlier. I sat back down in between Yoruichi and Kisuke under the kotatsu.

"Here," I said, handing Kisuke a pocky stick. "Hold one end between your teeth."

Kisuke gingerly accepted it, placing one end between his lips. "Like this?"

"Mm-hmm."

I reached forward, cupping both sides of his face before I leaned up and bit on the other end of the pocky stick. Kisuke, immediately flustered, bit down on the pocky stick which made it split between us.

Kisuke's face was red and it made me snort. I turned my head to try and smother my laughter. Yoruichi had no issues letting out her loud laughter, which only served to embarrass the man further.

"I was unprepared," Kisuke tried to defend himself. He worked quickly to suppress his blush, hiding the lower half of his face behind his black sleeves until it was manageable.

"Mm-hmm," I placated him, popping in another stick of pocky between my lips.

Yoruichi quickly sat up, biting down at the other end. We snapped it in half, and she gulped her half down quickly. She looked back over at Kisuke with a sly smirk, "Riri-taichō didn't even blush."

"She has no shame!"

"I have no shame," I agreed. "Anywhore, that's the pocky game. See how close the two of you can get to the middle without it breaking. Like a lovely game of chicken."

"How brazen," Kisuke muttered.

"I love it," Yoruichi exclaimed, her eyes lit up with devilish delight. "Let's play again."

I counted the pocky sticks I had left. "We've got five rounds. I'll have you know that I'm _quite_ the champion."

"Prepare to be dethroned."

"I'm going to do a hard pass on this," mumbled Kisuke. He slithered under the kotatsu table, curling into a tight ball so we couldn't even see him.

Poor baby. I patted his back from atop the blanket.

"Isn't it great to have friends to play with though?" I tried to console Kisuke and Yoruichi snorted.

Yoruichi reached over and patted Kisuke's back as well. " _I_ think it's wonderful."

"Friendship is wonderful," Kisuke admitted, "but so is sleep after a long mission. Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams," we chorused in return.

Unbeknownst to Yoruichi I had a secret technique to keep my throne in the pocky game. It was called: _Surprise tickle attack._

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

Grimmjow, still in his pre-Arrancar form, was an adorable kitty cat. Kitty witty. Kitty witty itty. Itty bitty kitty witty.

Kitty was definitely afraid of Ulquiorra.

I arrived at their home with a freshly baked pie only to find Grimmjow practically hissing at Ulquiorra in a corner. Lillynette was trying to comfort Grimmjow, but the poor dear was absolutely terrified.

" _How is that a mouth!?_ " Grimmjow snarled at Ulquiorra. "What the fuck are you?"

Ulquiorra tilted his head cutely.

"Oh you saw _that_ ," I said out loud, putting the pieces together.

Yeah. Ulquiorra's mouth-thing was pretty traumatizing. A very good thing he kept it so well hidden. One might assume it was behind his mask, but no. It was not. Oh so tragically… it was not.

Honestly, probably a good thing Kubo kept it hidden. We all knew it had to exist since Hollows _had_ to consume other Hollows to evolve further or else they'd de-evolve like Digimon. Of course Ulquiorra had a mouth-thing.

" _You!"_ Grimmjow snapped his head around to snarl at me, his fangs bared. "What's a Shinigami doing here?"

"Making friends. Potentially hanging out with a future in law," I said, raising my hand up at Ulquiorra who immediately high fived me. He had no idea what I was talking about, but I told him to always high five me when I held up my hand for him. He was such a good boy he did it without question.

Grimmjow scoffed, his tail lashing about behind him. He reminded me of an angry kitten.

' _Oh my gooooosh. So adorable,'_ I thought, and judging from the way Lillynette was covering her mouth to suppress her squeal I knew she thought the same.

I handed off my pie in my other hand to Starrk, who graciously accepted it. He sniffed it and said, "Honey apple?"

"Honey pies for my honepies," I chirped.

"Aww," went Lilynette, reaching for a hug. I pulled her in and kissed her nose. "You're our honeypie."

"Aww," I said. "Group hug!"

"FUCK THAT SHIT," Grimmjow howled, making a beeline for the front door, but Ulquiorra grabbed his tail and forcibly dragged him back to us. We had a lovely group hug with Grimmjow at the center.

"Shhh," I shushed him. "Just accept our love."

"LET ME GO OR FIGHT ME!"

I sucker punched him in the gut so he was rendered unconscious and thus had no way of rejecting our family hug anymore. Stockholm at its finest.

"This is the best family," Starrk declared with a sniffle as he hugged each of us tightly.

The comatose Grimmjow let out a low groan.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

"I am wounded, my son," I bemoaned, dropping to my knees and sprawling over Genryūsai's lap. The head captain glanced down for a moment at me, and through the corner of my eye I could see Genryūsai's latest vice-captain turn red in the face at my audacity.

' _Must be new.'_

Genryūsai mockingly gasped. " _Wounded?_ And I have heard no record of blood bath—" he placed a hand over his mouth as he faked a sniffle. "Oh, Sensei, could it be that you've finally turned over a new leaf and have learned the errors of your ways?"

"Where the hell did you get such a sassy mouth," I muttered, reaching up and pinching his cheeks. "You need to swear vengeance whenever I get wounded."

"Pardon me. Who am I swearing vengeance upon now?"

"Central 46. Shiori told me they're plotting to try and kill me again."

"What did you do this time?"

"Nothing!" I defended.

"Damn it, Sensei."

"I really haven't done anything yet," I insisted. "One of them found out I massacred the, uh, second to last group before them and they got really scared."

"I mean that's fair," Genryūsai admitted with a nod. "No one can really kill you."

"I wish they'd stop trying."

"No you don't. If you really wanted that, you'd stop antagonizing them."

"Ah. You might have a point there."

"What are you going to do to them this time? This is the, what, seventh group that's tried to kill you?"

"I mean I guess I'll see how they try it. Maybe fake my death for a week and pretend to haunt them from the grave. I do so love seeing the look on their faces after they taste victory only for it to be snatched away."

"Okay," said Genryūsai. "I'll tell Retsu to play along."

"And probably best to tell Shu-chan and Ju-chan so they don't try to avenge my death."

"Yeah, yeah. _Or_ we could take pictures of their faces when they realize they've been tricked," my student countered.

It was my turn to fake a sniffle. "I'm so proud of you."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

As it turned out, it was Yoruichi who swore vengeance for me when she found out, so we had to spill the beans earlier than expected because she was about to kick some ass.

I still got some great pictures of Jūshirō's, Shunsui's, and Kisuke's faces when they found out I wasn't dead and they moped for a week for no reason. Those pictures would be proudly hung in my bedroom for all eternity.

To my delighted surprise, the Isshin that Yoruichi met was actually _the_ Isshin. I could have sworn he was born in Seireitei to begin with, but perhaps the butterfly effect transplaced his family. I didn't _try_ to actively change how the Soul Society was set up, but I had been there long enough and early enough that anything could go. I should be happy enough that he was Fated to be born to give birth to Ichigo.

Bleach without Ichigo would be… ugh, hard to deal with. I had a good idea on how to handle Yhwach, but given his inherent hax nature I couldn't be certain it would work.

It was why, since the very beginning, I had been giving a little bit of my power to the main cast. In each meal specially made for them, I slipped a touch of my pure spiritual energy into it. Building up over time, their natural capacity to hold reiatsu expanded and consequently their base power rose. The most noticeable changes were in Genryūsai, Shunsui, Jūshirō, Stark, and Lilynette since I had been feeding them for over a thousand years.

I hoped that in the worst case scenario, I had strengthened them enough to deal with Yhwach in a combined effort.

Only time would tell.

With Isshin's sponsorship being handled by Yoruichi and myself, I was given updates on his progress in the academy. He had done impressively enough that Yoruichi felt comfortable sponsoring more of his family members and within ten years the Shiba family had put forth over a dozen decent Shinigami. Who were all practically fodder in comparison to Isshin as far as I was concerned.

Thankfully, we were inching closer and closer to the main cast.

Next up: the Aizen generation.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**1780 a.d.**

"You'll be happy to know I've picked out some _normal_ teammates to take into my division. One of them will even become my new fukutaichō," I chirped, folding my hands together behind me.

Genryūsai looked up from his calligraphy, dark eyes assessing me. "It's good to know a hundred years of nagging pays off."

"I told you I was waiting," I dismissively returned, taking a seat across from his floor table. "It was worth threatening and blackmailing those snot-nosed little shits in Central 46 to let me bend the rules for my new fukutaichō."

"Hm?" Genryūsai's attention returned to whatever he was writing. As always, my oldest student was pristine and meticulous in everything he did. His back was kept perfectly straight, and his captain sleeves were tied up to prevent them from dipping into the traditional ink slabs on his desk. He only ever sat on seat cushions—he hated chairs with backs, as he believed they were handicaps for those who couldn't maintain a proper posture.

I pouted at this blatant show of disinterest. I knew I still had his attention—he'd been hounding on me to get more people in my squad for centuries. It had been a _very_ long time since I had "normal" people in my squad and the nobles liked to complain about it.

Genryūsai knew me better than most, and he knew the best way to get under my skin was to not give me the attention and reactions I so craved.

Cheeky trolling bastard.

I was so proud of him.

' _Some kind of showing of interest would be nice,'_ I thought, reluctantly handing Genryūsai the file of my future vice captain, and squad members.

Genryūsai silently accepted the folder, setting it in his lap as he opened it and began to peruse through my choices.

I finally got my anticlimactic reaction when he quirked an eyebrow at my choice of lieutenant. "Sōsuke Aizen? He graduates next month, but his grades aren't particularly impressive."

"I want him as my fukutaichō," I stubborn said. "He's going to become a taichō."

"And how exactly do you know he'll become a taichō? I know you're not going to retire any time before your friend is reborn," Genryūsai idly pointed out. "Are you planning on driving Aizen off to another division with your insanity after you've had your fun?"

"Maybe."

Sōsuke Aizen was inevitably going to become a captain. Shinji's division was the most likely one out of the bunch since Shinji's instincts would be screaming to keep an eye on Sōsuke and by consequences, he'd get caught by Sōsuke's trap.

Shinji had always kept a close eye on the academy and its recruits. Kisuke had told me during one of our pancake mornings that Shinji had told him that Shinji had "hanky" vibes about Aizen already.

Honestly, I hoped Sōsuke would try to trap me instead. Getting caught sounded _so_ much more fun than watching it happen.

Over a thousand years I had been waiting for Sōsuke to hurry up and appear! He tricked and outplayed _everyone_ , catching everyone by surprise. For an old troll like myself, I _lived_ for shocking people and getting shocked. Sadly, very few have been able to get the drop on me since coming to Soul Society.

With Sōsuke as my vice-captain, though, I had a good chance of falling for one of his traps!

Super~!

"Not very nice of you to keep running people off," Genryūsai mused. "Certainly unorthodox to choose a fukutaichō as a _student_ instead of someone with proper experience. How far has he advanced in his zanpakutō?"

"I'm unorthodox," I dismissed, not answering his zanpakutō question because I honestly had no idea if Sōsuke unlocked his shikai yet. It didn't matter.

"Very true," he agreed. "And the other member of your squad… Kaname Tōsen, and Sajin Komamura. Komamura? Ah, are you taking him under your wing, then?"

Sajin Komamura was our resident werewolf. Genryūsai took a special interest in him when the two first met, and offered to sponsor him into the academy. Sajin, humbled, and grateful for the opportunity, accepted it.

Unfortunately, the poor baby felt so horribly self-conscious about his wolf-like appearance. He refused to go anywhere in public without wearing gloves, a helmet, and every inch of his fur covered.

Which was such a shame! He was our resident furry, after all, and with all that fur he easily ranked top three as Best Cuddler, and top five for Best Boi.

Poor pupp—er—poor fella.

Kaname was an obvious choice. Sōsuke was already working hard at trying to recruit Kaname to his side. I wished Gin had been born just a little bit earlier so I could grab him as I knew Gin wanted to stay close to Sōsuke to exact his Ultimate Revenge on Sōsuke for attacking his waifu, Rangiku.

Who unfortunately wasn't graduating, yet. To be honest, I had no idea where she was, but I was eagerly awaiting her arrival.

Genryūsai hummed and tapped his fingers, needlessly drawing out verbalizing his decision to try to needle me.

To combat this obvious attempt to annoy me, I started to whistle.

Off-key.

"Fine," Genryūsai immediately cut in. He knew if the whistling didn't work I'd start belting out renditions of _I Like Big Butts._

Quick as can be, he stamped his approval and I took my leave after blowing him a kiss.

"Pancake Monday better have chocolate chips this week," he cried out as I left.

"Deal!"

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**One month later**

In my office, I eagerly awaited their arrival. I prepared some ikebana, and a lovely tea party to greet my new squad members. The red tea was kindly provided by Retsu when she went out to forage for medicinal herbs. She said the plant reminded her of the intestines she had ripped out of an annoying little ant so long ago and it made her nostalgic so she over picked. Additionally, I baked a rich chocolate pound cake, alongside orange scones, and snickerdoodles.

As I took my seat at one side of the table, I hummed a merry little song to myself.

Soon, they would arrive.

While waiting for them to arrive I did another check over of myself. My captain's jacket was kept neat—Genryūsai would throw _such_ a temper tantrum (and not the funny kind) if it was anything less. I kept the sleeves cut off for better maneuverability, though. My pink hair was long, shiny, and well-groomed.

Not a speck of dirt was to be found on me, nor anything to give me a less than completely awesome first impression. Even my Evil™ sword looked spick and span in its black tabard.

Although it still gave off a rather malicious aura if someone looked at it long enough. Even though I tied a cute little pink ribbon around it and everything!

Stupid Evil™ sword.

' _Ah.'_

It didn't come as any bit of surprise that Sōsuke took the lead in entering first, uttering a polite, "Excuse me."

The shogi doors slid open and I finally got my first good look at the future captains.

Sōsuke Aizen had the appearance of a young man in his early twenties, maybe late teens. His scholarly chestnut brown hair was carefully styled to give the impression of _soft_ and _innocent_. He had a pair of thick black-rimmed glasses that helped convey the same tone. Even his expression went on to underline this!

' _What a smoother fucker. Honestly impressed. If I didn't know better, I would have immediately categorized him in the moe-bishie section.'_

That only heightened my excitement at being tricked by him later on. What surprise would he have in store with my addition to the story? The fact that I couldn't accurately predict what would come with his interference put a big smile in my heart.

It was that same feeling you got when you watch a fantastic movie and it reveals a plot twist you never expected but made it all the better.

Standing a bit further away from Sōsuke was Kaname and Sajin. Kaname instantly struck me as absurdly focused. He had an aura of _Don't approach me, bitch._ He definitely didn't become a Shinigami for the fun of it.

He was either going to hate me more than he has ever hated anyone in his life, or he was going to adapt to my insanity and relax. Dare I say it, he might even have _fun_ if he did so.

Standing the furthest away was our fwuffy boy, Sajin. He was the tallest of the bunch, and bulkiest. Every inch of his appearance was covered in either cloth or armor, and he reflexively kept a glove hand on the hilt of his sword. His appearance and stature might have been intimidating to some, but his spiritual energy was twitching in a clearly nervous fashion.

I put a big grin on my face. "Welcome home, my darling minions! Come inside, make yourselves comfy."

Sōsuke moved first, taking a seat directly across from me. Kaname sat next to him, and Sajin a bit further away on the opposite side.

"It's an honor to be personally invited into the 5th division," Sōsuke gently began.

"I'm glad you think so," I returned, holding back the desire to cackle. "Please, each of you help yourselves with the food. I'll be going over our routine."

None made a move for the food, but that was fine. Sajin and Kaname weren't comfortable enough to do something as relaxing as eating while they were in a meeting with their captain. Sōsuke wouldn't want to stand out too much from his fellow members, so he'd refrain until they were comfortable.

"My division operates a bit differently from the others," I began. "We do take the occasional mission, but our primary task is to handle the more unsavory or difficult missions, such as war or ensuring the balance."

"Ensuring the balance?" Kaname inquired.

"Mm-hmm. It's unlikely we'll need to perform that one for a while longer, so I'll hold off on explaining until the time comes. That being said, all members of the 5th division are required to have a certain level of strength in order to fulfill these tasks," I went on. "As you three currently stand you do not have that level of power. That will be remedied within a year. I'll expect each of you to be able to release a bankai within ten."

"T-Ten years?" Sajin yelped, then froze when he realized he had spoken out of turn.

I cocked my head. "But of course. I have personally trained Genryūsai, Shunsui, and Jūshirō. You three have the potential to match them, or even exceed them. I will train each of you. None of your records stated if you could release your shikai or not."

"Not yet," Kaname admitted softly.

"I cannot," Sajin added.

"Not currently," said Sōsuke.

' _Fuck. Can't swap him for vice-captain until he can at least use shikai. Oh well, as soon as he learns it I'll make it official. Shiori could use a break anyway.'_

"That will be corrected within a year. We will train four days of the week. Two days will be dedicated to paperwork or a regular mission for experience, and you'll have one day to rest. I need to personally assess how you three operate first. If you're ready, let's begin."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

"Come on now, minions! Surely you guys can kill hollows faster than that," I encouraged, sitting in the air as I watched the four of them struggle against a few dozen hollows.

To be fair, it was before any of them had reached bankai, and none of them had worked together before.

Which was why I (secretly) snuck them into Hueco Mundo for some good ol' fashion hollow purging.

Not a lot of people knew I could open portals between the multiple worlds in the Bleachverse. Genryūsai would prefer it if I kept that information on the need-to-know basis. He would rather the research team found their own way into Hueco Mundo without having to rely on me.

Apparently, he said I was too fickle.

_Me!_

What a silly student I had.

Still, I tried not to get on his bad side _too_ often, so I respected his request for the most part. Hence why I had to sneak these fellas here and lie to them about it being a random spot I found in the Soul Society.

Although I don't think Sōsuke believed my lie, he didn't question it (yet).

And now they were fighting off hordes of hollows with the teamwork of bickering teenagers. More than once they nearly bumped into one another, or another was accidentally caught in the crossfire. None of them were hot-headed, so it didn't lead to some hilarious shouting matches, but _damn_ were they petty. Especially Sōsuke.

Poor fluffy boy accidentally used a hadō on Sōsuke, and Sōsuke "accidentally" returned the favor.

' _I wish I had brought popcorn,'_ I thought, watching Kaname accidentally(?) kick a hollow in Sōsuke's way to and use it as a launching pad.

_Oof._

Sajin, poor baby, coincidently leapt up as Kaname was leaping up and collided into him. Since Sajin used a lot more force in his lift off, Kaname was sent flying into Sōsuke who then collided hard enough in the ground to leave a crater.

And—yep, that was definitely a glare Sōsuke tossed the apologetic werewolf.

"I know I said that we'd only be here until it was time for dinner," I casually put in, "but change of plans. We're camping out here until ya'll can fight for at least five hours without killing each other."

A moment of stunned disbelief flickered over their faces as they all turned to look at me. There was even a touch of resentment in Sōsuke's eyes that made me want to cackle.

I folded my legs together and blew them a cheeky kiss. "Have fun, minions."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**Extra from my tumblr after someone asked:**

"Oh Blessed Soul King," sighed one of Genryūsai's subordinate.

"NO!" I shouted, throwing that subordinate out of my house. "We do nOT PRAISE ASSHOLES IN THIS HOUSE!"

"Damn it, Sensei, stop killing my subordinates," Genryūsai snickered.

"I didn't kill him. Probably." I paused. "I'll find you a new one, a better one."

He outright laughed at that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re in the stretch guys! Now the main captains are finally being born. We’ve got that tantalizing hollowfication incident coming up too, and then… at long last… the main story! Yee-haw.
> 
> **Answer:** Pokemon.
> 
> **Question:** Favorite candy? 
> 
> Reviews are  **love** ! 
> 
>   
>    
> 


	11. Greenroom X

Well.

My insanity was apparently a touch too much for Kaname. The straight-laced man requested a change in squads after the first year which was a shame but oh well. I had to respect that someone as rigid in their beliefs as Kaname wouldn't adjust well to my antics.

Sōsuke and Sajin were rather well-adjusted to me after the first month.

Sōsuke had a perfect poker face and the patience of a god. There were times when I could nettle him, eliciting a tired glare when he thought I wasn't looking, but for the most part he went with the flow. Sajin was easily flustered, but such a sweetie he had issues voicing any kind of complaint. Ah, he was adorable.

A benefit of being a creature of pure reiatsu meant that reiatsu was as tangible to me as water was to a water-bender. I could feel the reiatsu in each of my students. Under my guidance, I coached Sōsuke and Sajin to correctly utilize their reiatsu in their zanpakutō. I helped tighten their bonds, and fed them bits of my purified reiatsu in our daily meals to permanently increase their reserves.

The results spoke for themselves.

Sōsuke was the first to achieve his shikai after only a year.

It was a rainy morning. I had prepared blueberry muffins, grilled ham, and some soft-baked oatmeal bars. I laid out the breakfast on the table per usual. As my non-human companions did not require food to eat, the three preferred not to join us for meals. Shiori was focused on scouting work regarding Yhwach's army—although I could not directly interact with that world, Shiori kept close tabs on it in hopes of finding a way to kidnap—I mean _rescue_ —certain fellas that appeared.

Kura frequented hell. He was always fascinated to study the differences between demons in each new dimension ever since he er encountered the Dark Continent in one of my earlier lives. Snuggles, always a simp for Kura, usually followed him.

Was there a danger to them to travel to hell so much? Sure. But as long as they weren't messing with nasty ass mind flayers they could play with that risk all they want. As far as I was aware Bleach didn't have those tentacle monstrocities so I wasn't concerned.

Sajin, even after a year of being around me, was reluctant to take off his helmet. I encouraged him to at least not wear it while we ate. He wasn't terribly happy about it, but he did agree after three months.

Sajin took off his helmet as he sat the table, his ears flicking forward.

"Good morning," I greeted him.

"Morning, taichō," Sajin said in return, ears flicking again when Sōsuke entered the room.

"And there's my favorite fukutaichō," I chirped.

"I'm your only fukutaichō," Sōsuke pointed out, lips curled up into a practiced smile. Totally fake, but what could I expect in only a year? About the only time I could know for certain Sōsuke was smiling for real was when I made his favorite foods.

Which was actually _really_ hard to find out! Not because he lied about it, but the darling didn't even know himself. I asked him originally and he gave some basic answers like udon or green tea so I prepared udon and a green tea rolled cake and he didn't like either of them. He said he did, but he was _lying_. About _food!_

It wasn't a courtesy white lie—I knew my cooking was beyond reproach—Sōsuke was genuinely neutral toward it. The fact that he felt compelled to lie about it likely meant the dear had no idea what his true favorite food was.

It became a quest of finding what he actually liked. For the past year I prepared a variety of different foods made from different cultures. I even sent Snuggles out across dimensions to get some ingredients that couldn't be found in the Bleachverse because finding something Sōsuke Aizen _actually_ liked was hard as heck.

To make it worse, I found out he liked mana! _MANA_. The Bleachverse didn't use mana, it didn't have magic. Why did he have to like something so damn hard to smuggle in? Not like the Soul King was down for me to set up a magic fountain or ask one of the ley dragons to open up a leyline to make the world generate magic. I had to literally smuggle in the ingredients which was _hard_.

Obviously the Soul King _knew_ , but if I made it too obvious the prick would bounce the ingredients outta here. Asswipe.

Oh well. At least my cute puppers was easy to please. Sajin liked anything salty or meaty.

Sōsuke took a seat next to me, inhaling. "Ah, did you prepare orange blossom tea again?"

"Mm-hmm. I noticed you returned late last night and thought you might want something bright to perk up with," I said.

"Ah. Can't get anything past you, can I, my taichō?"

"You will one day my dear," I encouraged him.

Sōsuke fake polite smile made me want to pinch his cheeks. I refrained, choosing instead to pour each of us a cup of tea so we could enjoy breakfast.

Sōsuke said, "I have achieved my shikai. I was able to use it last night."

Sajin was the first to react, the werewolf's entire face lit up in delight. "Many congratulations, Aizen-san!"

"I hope you'll be willing to show us later?" I asked, unable to keep the excited grin off my face. At last! Once I fell under Sōsuke's hypnosis the handsome man would be able to trick me to his heart's content. I wouldn't be able to easily predict his plans, and he could actually out troll me. Oh the delight! Oh the wonder! How long has it been since someone else has had the upper hand on me?

Sōsuke nodded as he sipped at the tea. "Yes, I would love to."

Feeling a surge of joy, I couldn't contain my happiness and pride so I lurched forward and kissed the top of Sōsuke's forehead. "I'm so proud of you."

Sōsuke patted my back. "I know."

We all ate breakfast quickly so we could witness Sōsuke's zanpakutō's shikai. In the backyard of the barracks, Sōsuke drew his zanpakutō. He said, "Shatter, Kyōka Suigetsu."

And—

Sajin gasped. "Amazing.

' _Huh?'_

I blinked.

I could clearly see Sōsuke's reiatsu in the air. From Sajin's murmur of surprise I could only infer he was doing something spectacular, but tragically I could not see it.

As an old soul I did not view the world through a nervous system. I had no organs of my own. I viewed the world through my reiatsu. I could see that his zanpakutō had transformed, but it only lingered in the air as a mist.

"Um," I said, staring hard at the mist.

' _M-Maybe it's supposed to be a mist?'_

"Truly amazing to be able to move water around like that," Sajin praised. "I am humbled by your rapid progress, Aizen-san."

"Thank you, Komamura-san," accepted Sōsuke.

' _No…'_

I bit my bottom lip to keep from crying out as I realized that no, I was not supposed to be seeing mist.

' _Not fair! NOT FAIR!'_

"Saji-chan, would you mind heading inside? I'd like to talk privately with So-chan."

"Yes, Taichō." Sajin bowed politely to both of us before retreating.

I sighed when he left, glaring at the stupid mist for another few seconds before letting my frustration go. Getting upset didn't help me. It was possible that Sōsuke simply wasn't strong enough to utilize the full extent of his zanpakutō yet. Presently, it would appear that he could only use his illusions on creatures with nervous systems—as that was the only difference between Sajin and myself. He had one, I didn't. If he grew stronger that could change. Strength was something that could be remedied in time.

Even if meant I had to wait even longer before getting tricked. Ugh. Lame.

Sōsuke seemed surprised by my reaction. "Taichō? Is something wrong?"

"You're using an illusion, and it's not working on me," I explained, resisting the urge to groan and bitch about it. "What did you show Saji-chan? All I see is your reiatsu."

"You… do not see anything?" Sōsuke sought to clarify. The only hint of distress he displayed was the subtle furrowing of his brows, which honestly spoke volumes of displeasure from a resting poker-face like him. I sadly shook my head, smiling softly.

"Don't worry. You just need to adjust," I consoled him. "Your zanpakutō is geared to affect the physical nervous system, but there are some creatures who can interact with the world without such. Hollows, for example, or powerful reiatsu-users like myself."

Sōsuke closed his eyes, sighing softly. "I see."

I stepped up into the air. I placed a gentle hand over his cheek. He opened his eyes and I continued to smile warmly at him. "Don't worry, So-chan. I'll help you overcome this obstacle. You've already done very well."

"Will you tell Sajin-san the truth?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No. It's smart to keep your ability hidden while you can. Besides, with such a technique available, you could actually surprise me!"

Sōsuke chuckled. "I doubt that, Taichō."

I patted his cheek. "I believe in you, dear."

Sōsuke's lips twitched before a lovely smile stretched over his face. "Thank you, Taichō."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**1785 a.d.**

Kisuke poked his head through my office window, a sweet smile on his face. "Taichō."

"Hello my lovely," I said, looking up from my paperwork. Sōsuke paused in his own work, curiously tilting his head. "What can I do for you? Don't tell me my darling Yoruichi-chan is submitting her budget early!"

Kisuke laughed, withdrawing his head from the window. He came in through the door on my left. "Nope. You're looking at the new twelfth division taichō. Or, well, I will be next week."

' _Wait—Wait—Wait—'_

I gasped in surprise, leaping up from my position to jump into Kisuke's arms for a tight hug. He spun me around, chuckling in amusement.

' _Hold up here. 2015, minus 101 years means the Hollowfication incident is meant to happen around 1914ish, and Kisuke was meant to be a_ recent _captain. It's—we're—a century early? Whoa. How did I do that?'_

It was true I had been feeding everyone bits of my reiatsu to increase their overall power level to deal with Yhwach, but I hadn't anticipated such a sharp jump for Kisuke.

Good for him!

"I'm happy for you," I cooed, kissing his cheek and nuzzling him affectionately. He still held me up, but I pulled back to properly address him. Our height difference meant that if I wanted to speak to him eye to eye someone either had to hold me up or I needed to fly. "What kind of treat would you like? I'll make you anything."

"Hmm," Kisuke considered his options. "How about you surprise me?"

"Ah. I can do that," I said with an easy smile.

Sōsuke cleared his throat. "Taichō, what about the deadline for the festival budget?"

"That can wait. Kisuke-chan just became a taichō," I said as Kisuke adjusted me in his arms so I address Sōsuke properly. "It's cause for a celebration."

Sōsuke's gaze flickered between Kisuke and myself before he did that charming fake smile of his. "Yes, Taichō."

"Aww, don't be jealous my darling. You'll be a taichō one day," I cooed. "And I'll make you anything you want."

"Mm-hmm. Taichō, we still need to finish the budget."

"But—"

"Taichō," Sōsuke repeated.

"But—"

" _Taichō_ ," Sōsuke repeated once more, a touch firmer.

"Oooo," went Kisuke. "Someone's got you leashed."

"Shut up, he does not. So-chan, tell him you do not have me leashed.

"I do not have Taichō leashed," Sōsuke loyally said.

"See?"

"But we need to finish the paperwork first, taichō. Let's get back to work."

I sighed. "Yeah, okay."

"Wow," whistled Kisuke. "I am impressed."

I pinched his nose. "I'll break it."

"Aizen-san, tell her to not break my nose please," teased Kisuke.

I broke his nose.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

Lilynette was sprawled over my lap as she played a GameBoy. Starrk had taken Ulquiorra out hunting for more Hollows to help him grow stronger. My own reiatsu had rapidly improved each of their powers, but a Hollow still needed to consume other Hollows to evolve.

The Espada were canonically stated to be hybrids of Shinigami and Hollows. There was some truth to that, but it wasn't as simple as that. Souls were souls, and they did not have a special species. In the state of death, a soul can take on different forms but it did not detract from the fact that it was still a soul.

Shinigami and Hollows were very similar, the only difference being the ratios of their vitality and reiatsu. Shinigami were closer to the living, whereas Hollows were closer to the dead. Because the souls were originally human as they regained more vitality, the closer to "human" they would become.

That was why Shinigami could pass as humans and Hollows could not. They had more vitality, and they were humans in life so their souls remembered that form.

In preparation for the final Big Bad of the series I had been steadily supplying the main cast with my own purified reiatsu. I was careful not to disrupt their natural ratios—if I gave too much at once to a Shinigami, it could trigger a Hollowfication—choosing instead to use my reiatsu to expand their natural reserves in power. A bit like working a muscle, my reiatsu tore down their own power to make way for something stronger.

I could evolve my Hollow friends in to the Espada. I could take vitality and channel it into them and begin that evolution before Sōsuke even met them.

I hadn't made such a drastic move yet because I wasn't sure how it would impact the story.

Now, though?

Now I could see more of the pieces at play and I decided yes.

Yes I was going to do exactly that.

Which was why Grimmjow was currently binge eating an amalgamation of flesh that had been pumped full of vitality I had ruthlessly stolen from my latest massacre. He was lacking in enough devoured Hollows to evolve, but I could at least begin feeding him enough vitality.

How would Sōsuke Aizen react to meeting three already evolved Espadas?

' _Could he evolve them further?'_

I wanted to know. How much of a change, of a threat could he become if given different pieces?

' _Ooo, could he even kill The Dickwad itself?'_

That'd be great! I'd love to see what he'd do to the world as the new Soul King. That'd be fascinating.

Grimmjow let out a burp, the kitty lashing his tail. "That shit tasted great."

"You're welcome," I said.

Grimmjow tilted his head, licking his chops. "Got more?"

"Nope, you need to eat another hundred Hollows before I can give you another batch of vitality," I said.

"Easy. Nii-san said he'd take me hunting tomorrow."

' _Starrk is big brother now?'_ I thought, fighting the urge to go _awww_ and nuzzle him. Lilynette was in my lap, after all. It'd be rude to kick her out just to cuddle Grimmjow. I settled for hugging Lilynette and cuddling her instead, which made her let out a snort.

"Mess up my chain combo and I'll ban Ranger from the next D&D."

"But I love having my animal army."

"Fuck your animal army."

"Well you aren't letting me have my harem—"

"Fuck your harem even more so."

"I'm trying."

Lilynette pinched my cheeks hard enough to make me wince.

"Ow, ow, ow."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**1800 a.d.**

"Quincies?" I repeated the term back to Jūshirō.

"Yes," Jūshirō sighed, rubbing his forehead. "They're becoming excessive in the human world. We have had frequent encounters that have lead to violence."

"Who's attacking first?" I asked, sparing a glance at Sōsuke who entered the room with another pot of tea. I smiled at him and patted the spot beside me, an invitation for him to listen to our conversation. He was going to eavesdrop regardless. My sweet little schemer. As soon as he go his shikai, he went around spying on all sorts of different people. He hadn't progressed it enough to fully enrapture me, but I knew he would get there in time. He was dedicated to training.

"It's unclear," Jūshirō admitted, smiling in thanks at Sōsuke when he poured Jūshirō a second cup of tea. "Regardless, it's escalating to a point I'm uncertain we can avoid a war."

' _War, huh…'_

Contemplating in silence, I stared down at the tea. Very vaguely I felt like I remembered something about another altercation between the Shinigami and Quincies, but I couldn't be certain. Was it predestined, or something I caused? On one hand it would be a hassle if we lost a main hero due to careless slaughter of his ancestors, but on the other hand that'd certainly make for an interesting story. Who would compensate for his absence, or would others simply die because he was not there to save them?

Ignoring the issue wouldn't help. If it was escalating to the point that even Jūshirō was considering war…

In a quiet voice I mused, "I guess it's time to clean up."

"Rirī-taichō?" Sōsuke gently inquired.

"I bet the 12th division would like some spare Quincy parts," I went on, thinking about Kisuke and his love of science and research. "Hm. So-chan, what do you say leading the team to the human world and helping Jūshirō's team clean up?"

"I will follow your orders, taichō," said Sōsuke softly, his warm chocolate eyes gentle. His fake kindness had improved so remarkably well even I had trouble telling when he was being fake or not. As I lived and breathed bullshit I had an innate ability to sense it, but Sōsuke Aizen was _also_ someone who also lived and breathed bullshit which made him a formidable bullshit foe.

I reached forward and flicked his nose. "Too obedient. Okay, go get the team. I'll tell Gen-chan that the 5th division will handle it."

Jūshirō sighed heavily at that. "Do you feel that is unavoidable?"

"Fodder is fodder," I said unsparingly. "If they're consistently interfering with our work, then they're no better than weed growing in the garden."

Jūshirō did not respond right away, his face somber. "I understand, Sensei. Will you need back up?"

"No," I answered. "I'll be joining them."

Both men tensed subtly at that. It was exceedingly rare for me to join in the battlefield. My Evil™ zanpakuto was a danger to enemies and allies alike if released. Even without it, my skills in hadō were above anyone. I was a pure being of reiatsu, so my powers were devastating. Shinigami were physically limited by their bodies in what they could harness and perform.

I did not have that limitation.

I could use the reiatsu inside and around me with ease, so I was never low on energy. Not even mentioning the fact that I had lifetimes of experience on the battlefield so my soldier instincts were damn good.

Being a creature of raw reiatsu did leave me vulnerable to certain things, and I was not able to use anything pertaining to vitality, but c'est la vie.

Evilness™ aside I could use my shikai and that alone should be enough to deal with the threat. Besides, it was time my team got to see it in action.

With a yawn, I stretched my arms up to the ceiling. "I hope they'll be worth the paperwork, at least."

There was a surprising amount of paperwork involved when one had to kill a non-Hollow being. Officially, at least. Obviously if I snuck in a murder I wouldn't write a report about it.

"The 12th division would handle the paperwork if you donated the bodies to them," Sōsuke pointed out.

"Have I told you today that I love you?"

"No."

"I love you."

"I know."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This story's captains**
> 
> 1st - Cpt Genryusai, vice Chojirio Sasakibe
> 
> 2nd - Cpt Yoruichi, vice Kisuke
> 
> 3rd - Cpt Rojuro Otoribashi, vice Chikane
> 
> 4th - Cpt Retsu, vice Seinosuke
> 
> 5th - Cpt Rirī, vice Sōsuke Aizen, Shiori 3rd (in human form), Sajin Komamura 4th, Kura 5th (in human form), Snuggles 6th (will never take human form)
> 
> 6th - Cpt Genrei, vice Sojun.
> 
> 7th - Cpt Love, vice Jinemon.
> 
> 8th - Cpt Shunsui, vice Lisa
> 
> 9th - Cpt Shinji, vice Fodder
> 
> 10th - Cpt Kensei, vice Mashiro
> 
> 12th - Cpt Kirio, vice Hiyori
> 
> 13th - Cpt Jūshirō, vice Kaien
> 
> Grand Kido Chief Tessai, vice Hachigen.
> 
> **(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***
> 
> Happy Holidays and see y'all next year. :)
> 
>  **Answer:** Payday
> 
>  **Question:** What would you name your zanpakutō?
> 
> Reviews are **love**!


	12. Greenroom XI

"What a beautiful day," I said cheerfully as I stepped into the World of the Living with Sōsuke and Sajin at my side. "Look at that sunrise. Absolutely gorgeous."

Indeed, what a lovely day it was for a massacre. The sun was peeking above the horizon, shining brightly as if in eager anticipation of the blood shed up ahead.

I made no move to hide my reiatsu, blatantly showing all the nearby Quincies that big bad Shinigami had entered their turf. Sōsuke and Sajin followed my lead, each keeping their reiatsu uncloaked.

"All right my lovelies, our task is simple. We need to trim the Quincies up so they stop interfering with our work. We're not looking for a genocide," I said with chirp in my voice. "If they surrender, there's no need to kill them. But I mean like if you kill them before they even get a chance to surrender who's gonna know?"

"You sound very experienced in this type of hunt, taichō," Sōsuke observed.

"Yeppers. Ah, this'll be your guys' first trip here won't it?"

Sajin nodded, sniffing the air. "It has a different taste and smell to it than what I expected."

Sōsuke assessed the dirt roads around us, a hint of disdain in his eyes. "The World of the Living is… not as advanced as I thought it would be."

"Yeah… they don't have plumbing yet so, uh, be careful where you step. There's a genuine chance you'll be stepping in human shit."

At that, Sōsuke did wince. "How… fascinating."

"You can call it gross, So-chan. I won't think less of you," I chuckled. "It's okay to admit something is bothering ya."

Sōsuke inclined his head. "As you say, taichō."

Sajin hoisted his zanpakutō. "Ah. Looks we like we have company."

I raised my zanpakutō, using the sheathe to deflect the first arrow shot at me.

"Ara, ara," I said, smiling with coy malice. "Look, already a dozen Quincies."

Below us, dressed in white, was a group of Quincies. The one who shot the arrow at me snarled, "Begone, Shinigami!"

"Both of you have your shikais, so I expect neither of you to run into an issue," I said, ignoring the Quincies. "Whoever collects those most bodies for Kisuke-chan's division gets to pick dinner all next week."

"BBQ," whispered Sajin.

"Mana-buns," disagreed Sōsuke.

"I'll give you one hour. Eliminate the Quincies. I'll clean up the rest after that," I ordered.

Thankfully, the Quincies mostly operated in Japan. Japan had the weakest border between the World of the Living and Soul Society which made it a natural hotspot for Hollows to appear, and consequently, it drew the Quincies. There were other parts in the world that had thin veils, but they were usually reserved to a single city (London, Pretoria, Cape Town, New York, Montreal, Marseille, etc). Japan as a country was a concerning hotspot, and while the veils were thin elsewhere Japan's veil literally broke a few times.

"As you command, taichō," Sajin and Sōsuke said, each unleashing their zanpakutō.

And so the countdown began.

My boys did very well for their first assault. At the one-hour mark, I picked them up. Sajin was the more battered between the two, but even Sōsuke had a few scrapes and bruises. I patted both of their cheeks, praising them.

Sajin said, "The mortals were surprisingly strong."

"There should be no surprise next time, then," I told him. "No matter how strong you feel, you shouldn't underestimate your opponents."

Sajin dipped his head, "Yes, taichō."

Sōsuke sheathed his blade. "You believe you can finish off the rest, Rirī-taichō?"

"I know I can," I dismissed.

I pulled out my zanpakutō, holding the dark blade aloft.

"Ruin, Owari."

The black blade glowed white as a swarm of light shaped like butterflies surged from the blade. Within seconds, they had taken over the skies, their forms shining brightly as they fluttered in the breeze.

Owari, my zanpakutō, was a blade that drew power from my previous lives. In its shikai state it cloned a version of my kaleidoscope; butterfly summons I had contracted with very early on in my reincarnation. The kaleidoscope was created by Shiori, my main contract, and it rested in the In Between. Shiori could reform or shape the kaleidoscope based on my needs for that life, so long as she had enough spiritual and physical energy supplied.

My shikai summoned forth a cloned copy of that kaleidoscope, one enhanced directly by my reiatsu. The actual kaleidoscope could be killed or destroyed in battle, but the shikai version could not. My butterflies had a simple, yet versatile ability. Upon contact, they could directly influence cellular regrowth.

For my allies, that meant regeneration.

For my enemies, it meant—

The first butterfly landed upon a Quincy face and that face deteriorated within seconds. Another unfortunate Quincy had a mutation of cells protruding from its shoulder where a butterfly had landed.

Mutation, rapid aging, decay, destruction…

Simple, yet terribly versatile in the many ways it could kill.

Sōsuke raised a finger as one of the butterflies landed delicately upon it.

"Beautiful," he softly praised, admiring the way the light shimmered on its wings. I smiled at him, as I sensed he was sincere in that compliment.

Owari might have been inherently Evil™ and the bankai state was just… oof. _Oof_. But yes, my shikai kaleidoscope was terribly pretty and I was awfully proud of it. With each wave of my zanpakutō I could conjure another swarm.

More of my butterflies fluttered around Sajin and I heard the werewolf sigh with relief as they healed his injuries.

Within an hour my butterflies, invisible to the human eye, had covered Japan and devoured a good portion of the Quincies. It wasn't a total genocide—I wasn't about to murder the ones that surrendered, or were defenseless—but it was certainly massacre. Their bodies were picked up by the swarms and escorted to Kisuke's laboratory in Soul Society.

' _I wonder if I killed too much,'_ I thought. ' _Guess we'll find out.'_

I sheathed my blade as I stared down at the mutilated corpses. "We're done here. Let's head back and send in the clean up crew who'll tally up your kills."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**1815 a.d.**

It was a cool autumn morning in Soul Society. I had opened the windows to my office, letting in the crisp breeze. In the distance I could hear my lovely sheep mewling at one another and I knew it would soon be time to trip them down again. I had recently added some alpacas. It'd take a few generations of extra pampering to get their fur on the same level as my sheep, but it'd be worth it.

My barracks had the warm scents of cinnamon, honey, and apple as I had recently been on a baking binge. On the kotatsu in my main office there was a plate of cinnamon-apple-honey soft baked granola bars.

Normally I would have sat at my kotatsu table, nibbling on my treats while reviewing paperwork.

Thankfully, it was not a normal morning. All due to my surprise visitor.

Yoruichi and I stared intently at one another.

She, a black cat with amber eyes.

I, a pale pink cat with blue eyes.

As cats, our expressions were limited, so staring was all we could do.

In our hearts we were grinning because at long, long last Yoruichi had finally perfected her transformation technique. The technique was developed solely to be able to transform into a fluffy wuffy kitty cat. As soon as she showed off her form, I transformed to match her and now we could be fluffy cuddle buddies!

"This is amazing," she purred. She was still practicing modifying her voice as a cat, so it defaulted to her normal voice. Cats didn't have lips to speak as humans did, so we were forced to use something similar to telepathy. It was a projection of our voice through our reiatsu—like using a megaphone—so it only worked in the surrounding area. It was how Ulquiorra to spoke prior to his evolution since he didn't have a traditional voice box. 'Course that didn't matter now since he evolved and looked exactly as his anime counterpart now.

"We can literally be lap cats!" I cheered. "We can fit under the kotatsu table and nap all day. No one will find us."

Yoruichi gasped. "I want to nap under the kotatsu table _right now_."

We dove under the thick blanket and plopped next to the heater. The instant warmth caused us to groan in pleasure. "Oh, praise the Maker being a cat next to a heater is the best."

Yoruichi curled up beside me. "All those decades spent training… all of it has become validated with this one moment."

"Yes…"

We purred, cuddling together by the heater as we enjoyed our victory nap.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

Blinking slowly, I returned to the world of the awake feeling refreshed. To my surprise, I was not still curled up with Yoruichi under the kotatsu. Judging how warm and comfy I was though, I wasn't immediately startled.

 _I guess we got discovered,_ I thought, looking up to find that Sōsuke had me in his lap and was idly scratching the back of my head with one hand while he reviewed paperwork at my desk. I purred at him, reaching up to gently lick his fingers. "Good day my darling."

Sōsuke smiled in amusement. "Good morning, Rirī-taichō."

"How did you find us?" I asked him, rolling over because belly rubs were the best thing ever.

A quiet snort escaped my lieutenant as he humored me by rubbing my belly. "It wasn't easy. We were looking for you two for twenty hours."

"Ahh. Good nap."

"Quite. Yoruichi-taichō has been sent back to her division, but you slept through the scolding."

"Yay me."

"Is this going to become a regular form?" he asked.

I cocked my head then morphed into the body of a gorgeous twenty-year-old woman. I smirked coyly at him, still in his lap. "I dunno. Are you a cat person, my dear So-chan?"

Sōsuke, nonplussed, reached around me and held out the report he was working on. "I'm a _I wish my dear taichō would finish her paperwork before disappearing_ kind of person."

Feeling pouty that he didn't react to having such a beautiful lady like myself in his lap, I sighed and turned back into a cat. Being a cat was the best. "Boo, So-chan, _boo_."

Sōsuke chuckled. "Sorry to disappoint, Rirī-taichō."

I flicked my tail in annoyance. "If you were sorry you'd make it up to me!"

"Oh?" he raised an eyebrow.

I purred. "How about in private you stop calling me _taichō_?"

"Rirī-san, then?"

"So formal! How hurtful, So-chan."

Sōsuke pretended to ponder, placing a hand over his chin as if in deep thought. "Rirī-sensei?"

"Boo!"

"Rirī-sama?"

" _Boo!_ "

"Then how about…" Sōsuke tapped on my nose. "Gata-chan?"

My ears flicked forward. Gata was the feminine Spanish word for cat. I had been aiming for Rirī-chan—as so far the only Shinigami I could get to call me that were Kisuke and Yoruichi and I liked being called Rirī-chan—but a little nickname was a pleasant surprise. I hadn't thought my somber lieutenant had enough playfulness in him for such a thing. Not terribly creative, but it would be a callback to the moment it was made—a little inside joke.

It was personal.

Purring, I said, "I love it, dear So-chan."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**1845 a.d.**

Being a kitty cat was something I only did sparingly. As a troll by nature, I always relished in keeping secrets for others to find out.

Yoruichi, Kisuke, Genryūsai, Sōsuke, Jūshirō, and Shunsui were the only Shinigami to know the truth about my cat form. It was a delight to sneak out and eavesdrop on gossiping nobles or other Shinigami. On cold dreary days Yoruichi and I would cuddle near a fire or under the heated kotatsu, just to wake up either in Kisuke's or Sōsuke's lap hours later.

Genryūsai gave the best chin-scritches by a long shot though.

On another day I decided to visit Kisuke in his lab. The pale blond like to keep his office orderly, but when he got caught up in something fascinating it'd turn into a chaotic mess. He'd get frazzled, stressing out over small things which caused him to miss the obvious solutions. As his friend, it was up to me to soothe his anxiety.

I snuc—I mean—I headed out, transforming into a cat along the way. Kisuke's office was at the back of the twelfth division barracks. It was a corner room with the outside being made up of shoji (Japanese sliding doors). As it was a temperate day, Kisuke had opened all the doors which made it easy to slip inside.

Kisuke was at his desk, ink smudges on his fingers and face. As I entered the room he looked up and spotted me immediately. With my head and tail held high, I bounded over to my friend. Kisuke picked me up, cradling me as he took a seat in his office chair. He held me as he said, "You can't keep hiding out here, Rirī-chan."

"Why not? It's so lovely here."

"I think your cute little lieutenant might get jealous if you spend more time here than at home," Kisuke teased.

"Don't be silly. So-chan isn't like that."

Kisuke adjusted to hold me with one arm while he used his free hand to wipe off the ink from his fingers and face. "Mm-hmm. Next week you'll need to stay away. I'm closing it off from outsiders as I'll be doing some dangerous experiments."

I let out a scandalized gasp, rolling over onto my back—a clear signal that it was time to give me belly rubs because belly rubs were the best—in his lap. "Are you implying I'm an _outsider_?"

"You do not work in my lab, ergo you are an outsider," Kisuke pointed out.

To show my displeasure, I stared him down and bit on the tip of his index and middle finger, not letting go.

Kisuke met my gaze, unperturbed that I was biting him. In fact, he started to chuckle.

"What? What are you so amused by?" I asked as I continued to bite his fingers.

" _I_ know where my hand has been," he said with a smirk.

' _He's trying to make me uncomfortable so I'll let go. How dare he think he can make_ me _uncomfortable. ME!'_

Still in his lap, and still biting his fingers, I transformed into an adult woman. Glaring defiantly up at him, I raised my eyebrows in a clear show, ' _Whatchu gonna do now?'_

But Kisuke Urahara had been my companion for centuries by that point and was well equipped to dealing with my bullshit.

His smirked stretched. Abruptly, he shoved his fingers down my throat, eliciting a reflexive gag. I spasmed out of his lap onto the floor, coughing violently.

"And the victory goes to me," he said cheerfully.

"Fuck—you—" I wheezed, gagging.

"I'll have to decline your advances for now, Rirī-chan," Kisuke laughed joyfully.

Spitefully, I kicked his chair legs hard enough to knock him forward and out of the chair. He flopped on top of me in a way that really only ever happened in anime universes. One did not see that kind of tomfoolery in DC-verse or Potterverse.

And because, yeah, anime-world, it was at that moment Sōsuke opened the door asking, "Urahara-san have you seen Rirī—"

Sōsuke stopped as he stared at the situation.

' _Wow. I bet this looks super scandalous and compromising,'_ I thought, biting my bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud.

Kisuke must have realized that as well because he deadpanned, "This is exactly what it looks like."

Sōsuke blinked. "Don't you want to say this is _not_ what it looks like?"

"No. I know Rirī-chan better than that. If I said that, she'd either start moaning erotically or start crying and run into your arms."

"Awww. You know me so well," I cooed.

Sōsuke tilted his head, quiet for a few seconds. He bent down, grabbed my shoulders, then yanked me out from under Kisuke. Kisuke fell to the floor entirely while Sōsuke picked me up. Kisuke and I looked at each other before we burst out into laughter as Sōsuke carried me away.

" _Ahahahaha_ —b-b-bye Rirī-cha— _ahahaha_ —Rirī-chan!" called out Kisuke.

" _Snrrt—hahaha_ —b-bye—"

"I really wish you'd finish your paperwork _before_ disappearing," sighed Sōsuke.

" _Hehehehe_ —b-but then you won't go— _heheheh_ —looking for me," I giggled.

"Not everyone enjoys the chase, Gata-chan," evenly said Sōsuke.

I smirked. "Are you saying you don't enjoy the hunt, my dear So-chan?"

Sōsuke's lips twitched as he fought back a smile. He didn't say anything in response, he didn't need to.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

Hueco Mundo was a desolate barren of white sand and starless night sky. Nothing could grow there, and it was an overall dull place.

The only part of Hueco Mundo that was close to entertaining was the mansion I had built with Starrk and Lilynette. Naturally, it was heavily cloaked and protected by my reiatsu so not anyone could find it. It started as a humble abode, but over the centuries it had morphed into a Frankenstein mansion. Lilynette's obsession with story telling evolved into writing stories, drawing artwork, and making video games. She filled up several rooms already from her hobby. Starrk's obsession with reading stories and playing war games had turned him into a fanboy for shogi, chess, and Warhammer. The dude had _two rooms_ dedicated to his figurine collection.

And then, of course, we had to have a room dedicated to our DnD campaigns.

Ulquiorra hadn't found a hobby that particularly interested him enough to have a room for it. He tended to filter through a variety of things, never settling on one. The only consistent thing he liked to do was read.

Grimmjow… sweet, sweet kitty boy… he was obsessed with power for the moment. I figured once he felt like he was on equal standing with everyone else in the family he'd relax enough to find a hobby.

I hoped that would be the case at least.

Despite how massive the mansion was, most of the time, everyone could be found in the same living room. Starrk liked to play chess with himself at his favorite couch, Ulquiorra liked to read at his favorite recliner, Lilynette liked to play Chase the Kitty with Grimmjow. It was a good time.

I flopped into Starrk's lap. "My friend."

"Yes, my friend?"

"I think it's time for one of our children to evolve," I said, gesturing over to a kitty Grimmjow. He was seated before us on the living room rug. His chest was puffed up with pride.

Starrk nodded, accepting this. "I suppose it is."

"About time!" howled Grimmjow. "Ulquiorra got to last week. It's my turn, _my turn!_ "

"Yes, yes," I soothed. "As soon as Lilynette comes back with the last Hollow I'll help you evolve."

Grimmjow stomped on the ground. "FINALLY."

"Then I can start teaching you how to use a sword!"

"What? Why would I want to learn that? I have claws."

"You won't after you evolve."

"THAT'S BULLSHIT."

"But you'll become like a thousand times hotter," I chirped.

"FUCK THAT I WANNA KEEP MY CLAWS."

Starrk whispered in my ear, "My friend, our child is becoming unruly."

I patted his back. "He gets it from his mother."

"Don't let her hear you say that," Starrk warned. "She might think you're calling _her_ unruly."

"Stop talking about me when I am literally sitting in front of you both," growled Grimmjow. "I am not your child."

We gasped.

"Ulquiorra, baby, you're my future son in law aren't you?" I called over to Ulquiorra who was quite happy to be sitting in his recliner reading _Name of the Wind_.

Ulquiorra did not even look up. "Yes."

"That's my boy," I sniffled. "I'mma go cuddle with him now."

Starrk cheerfully picked me up off his lap and sat me on the floor. I hopped over to Ulquiorra who accepted me in his lap with patience that came the decades of putting up with me. I kissed his cheek and patted his head. "Do you want me to read to you now?"

Grimmjow snapped, "Oi! No getting distracted. Lilynette will be back any minute and then _I'm_ evolving."

"I do enjoy the voices," said Ulquiorra, ignoring Grimmjow and holding the book out to me.

"I'll do the voices then," I assured him.

"OI! STOP IGNORING ME."

"Thank you," said Ulquiorra, offering me one of his smiles. It was still awkward and twitchy, but the darling was working on it. Gosh, I was so proud of him!

"STOP. IGNORING. ME."

I glanced over at Grimmjow with a raised eyebrow. "Are you gonna be a cuddle buddy now?"

He glowered. "Fuck you."

"No cuddles, no evolution since _apparently_ I'm not one of your moms."

Grimmjow groaned in despair, dramatically flopping to the ground. "Fine. We can… _ugh_ … cuddle."

"That's my boy."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was tempted for Neko-chan, but given Aizen's penchant for using Spanish terminology I went with Gata.
> 
>  **Answer:** Mangekyō (means kaleidoscope)
> 
>  **Question:** What would be your shikai & bankai?
> 
> Reviews are **love**!


	13. Greenroom XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fourth division barracks were pristine and perfectly normal. They, like many of the other barracks, favored a traditional Japanese-style building with shōji doors, tatami mats, and a lack of color diversity. Although the fourth division opted for Western furniture instead of the standard floor seats and low tables.

Retsu declined letting me carve anything into the wood, either. There were next to no plants, hardly any hung portraits, and really a general lack of personal touches. Anyone coming into the fourth division would find it clinical and detached.

Retsu was a minimalist. She kept very few personal items for herself, finding joy in momentary pleasures and memories rather than materialistic things. It reflected in her office, which only ever kept necessary paperwork. Retsu didn't need the paperwork—she had superb memory—but her fodder did.

One of the unique things about the fourth division barracks, though, was the morgue underneath it. It was conveniently attached to the prison cells.

The morgue was brightly lit, well ventilated, and had an excellent drainage system. There were hoses hooked up, and plenty of spare autopsy tables.

I sat on one of the tables next to a fresh corpse—it hadn't even started to smell—while I chatted with Retsu.

"All I'm saying is that maybe they had it coming a tiny little bit," I complained to Retsu.

"Mm-hmm," came her placating murmur. "Rirī-chan, would you please—?"

I held out the pan for her to dump the heart she had ripped out of the cadaver she was working on. Retsu had been experimenting with a new hadō technique but it hadn't worked out on the unlucky prisoner. Which meant she had to dissect the fella afterward to see what went wrong. As a supportive friend I joined her in the autopsy room to keep her company. Dissections could get boring after the first few centuries after all.

Plus I wanted to hide a body and the best place to do that was at a morgue. Retsu was a dear so she would happily turn a blind eye. Especially if I made her an orange blossom cake.

Curiously, the heart she pulled out looked like it had been used as a pin cushion. Even that surprised me since the hadō technique wasn't applied near the heart, nor was it intended to affect the cardiovascular system. "Huh."

Retsu noticed. "Huh."

"Hey So-chan, take a look at this."

Sōsuke, who tagged along because a good lieutenant was always near their captain, leaned over and let out his own quiet, "Huh."

There was a moment of silence as we all pondered what went wrong with the technique to warrant such a result.

It was broken by Retsu who nodded at the corpse I had brought along. "How fresh?"

"I dunno. So-chan how fresh?"

"An hour?" he guessed.

"Then it can be used," concluded Retsu. "And disposed of later?"

"Yep."

"Do I want to know what happened?"

"No," Sōsuke and I answered.

Retsu didn't bat an eye. "Does Yamamoto know?"

"Nope."

"Does he need to?"

"Nope."

"Noted."

There was a pause.

"The cake will be ready by tomorrow," I promised her and she smiled thinly at me.

"I'll take care of it," she said brightly in return, her expression of false kindness.

 _Ahh. Never stop being the crazy hot lady,_ I thought happily as I admired her.

The moment was rudely interrupted when some cannon fodder entered the room, out of breath. "R-Rirī-taichō. Your presence is requested immediately."

I looked over at Sōsuke. "Was there a meeting today?"

"No," he said.

I looked back over at the cannon fodder and raised an eyebrow. "What's the issue?"

"One of your squad members attacked members of the ninth division!"

 _Shinji's division?_ I thought, scratching my cheek idly. _Hm._

"All right," I said, hopping off the autopsy table. "Talk to you later, darling."

"Bye-bye," Retsu sung happily as Sōsuke and I headed out.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

The fodder lead us to the general barracks—the barracks outside the first division that was used by all division members, as well as non-division members. Main meetings between the captains were held there, and it was seen as an area for division members to intermingle and train together.

Sajin stood proudly in a battered arena. There were dozens of other cannon fodder shinigami around him, and I could see pools of blood near his feet. At a glance, I could easily see that my Sajin had not retained any injuries, but his gloves were destroyed.

He had also chosen not to wear his helmet that day, a very rare occasion. I had worked for years to encourage Sajin to forgot the helmet and embrace his heritage, but it was only in the past year that he began to publicly reveal his werewolf nature.

It probably helped most people were too busy bad mouthing how insane I was to care that he was a werewolf. Who cared about some fluff when the pink haired captain caused a rainbow explosion in the first division barracks to try and pull Genruysai into another prank war?

Not to say _no one_ was prejudiced against my werewolf because there were some bigots.

Hell, I had been a captain for over a thousand years and people would still find me beneath them because I most often took the form of a young girl with long pink hair and big blue eyes. Some would devalue me at that, and others would make crude remarks that I'd be better served as a wife than captain.

Since Sosuke became my lieutenant a _lot_ of people had made remarks he'd serve as a captain better than me, and that _I'd_ be better off serving _him_.

Shinji, the ninth division captain (who was canonical the fifth division captain around this time), nodded curtly at me when I arrived.

"Know what's going on?" I asked Shinji.

"There was a dispute, and some of my members are undergoing intensive care," cooly respodned Shinji.

_Hmm._

"Sa-chan, explain," I urged gently, smiling kindly at my pupp—my pupil.

Sajin bowed his head, ears flicking forward. "They insulted you, taichō."

"Mm-hmm?"

"I demanded a duel in your honor," he went on. "They lost."

"Oh my! You left them alive, too," I said with a big smile. "So kind. Thank you for defending my honor."

Sajin bowed in response.

"T-Taichō!" squawked one of the cannon fodders. "You can't let them get away with this—Sohei and Komouri nearly died. They might never wield a zanpakutō again."

Shinji let out a quiet sigh, closing his eyes. "You insulted his captain to his face?"

The cannon fodder flushed.

"Answer the question, Daisuke."

"Y-Yes."

"You are extraordinarily lucky that it was one of her subordinates, and not Yamamoto-taichou," Shinji coldly told them. "You would have already been cut down. It doesn't matter what you think of Rirī-taichō. She is your superior and deserves your respect."

"Awww."

"Shut up, crazy old hag," muttered Shinji.

"Awww." I mockingly put a hand over my cheek to fake a blush. "But you're so adorable when you're angry, Shishi-chan."

Shinji gave me a withering look. "I'll apologize on behalf of my subordinates. I'll ask that you kindly do not retaliate further."

I batted my eyelashes. "Mmm? Me? Retaliate? Hmmm. So-chan, what do you think?"

"Rirī-taichō is a very kind soul," Sōsuke said with a fake smile. "But it would be a shame for a repeat, the offenders might need to be made an example of."

"Hmmm. _Hmm_." I tapped my chin thoughtfully. "Shishi-chan, I'll let you come up with a punishment, then. No need to apologize, just make sure you give 'em a good talking to. I'd be _so_ sad if I had to step in."

Shishi's brow furrowed, his gaze jaded. "Yes. I'm sure you would be _very_ upset. I'll handle them."

"Thank you! Come along then, Sa-chan. I'll bake you some cookies," I cooed, taking my fluffy buddy. "Ooo. So-chan, would you please let Yorui-chan know?"

Sōsuke inclined his yead. "Yes, taichō."

I winked at Shinji. "You're always welcomed to come along."

Shinji gave me a look of plain disgust. "No, thank you."

"Suit yourself!"

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

Yoruichi slipped into the office with grace and poise, her eyes sparkling. "Cookies before Friday? What brought this on?"

"Sa-defended my honor," I boasted proudly. The werewolf's ears pressed against the back of his head in sheepish embarrassment. "Although he didn't kill any of them so only cookies."

"Good for you," Yoruichi praised the werewolf, reaching over and clapping him on the shoulder. "Hey, on a completely unrelated note—do you know what happened over at Kisuke's lab?"

Sōsuke and I kept our poker faces. Sōsuke portrayed the perfect air of false kindness and concern as he asked, "No, what happened?"

"Someone stole one of his subjects?" Yoruichi waved her hand. "Kisuke's in a fuss about it."

I carefully took a sip of my tea. "Wow. What a shame."

When Yoruichi looked away to peer into my cookie jar—I had filled with macrons that time—I gave Sōsuke a wink, who returned with a fleeting smile.

"C-Can we do pumpkin spice cookies?" Sajin shyly asked.

"Of course!" I said. "Whatever you want."

"Hell yeah," praised Yoruichi. "You've got excellent taste."

Sajin's eyes were bright. "Thank you."

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**1855, December 20th**

Thursday afternoons meant tea time with Genryūsai, Shunsui, and Jūshirō. The four of us met up at Genryūsai's barracks to enjoy whatever treats and tea we each brought. Jūshirō was in charge of the tea that week and he chose a sakura-lavender infusion. Genryūsai brought along daifuku, Shunsui brought arare, and I made honey-vanilla macarons.

We chatted about various things as we enjoyed tea time. It had been a chilly winter so far—not that I knew since I didn't feel temperatures as a soul—and Jūshirō was having trouble keeping his garden alive through the winter. I was about to give him some advice when suddenly—

_Ah._

I could feel the very moment that my darling had been successfully reborn.

I stood up, not saying a word as I teleported directly to him.

He had been reborn in a shambled house, his mother already dead. There was another woman there—elderly—who let out a scream of surprise upon my sudden appearance. I gently pushed her out of the room with my reiatsu as I rushed to the infant stuck halfway through birth.

Since the mother was already dead, I had to cut him free. Thankfully there was already a bowl of warm water and clothes so I could clean the placenta and blood off him. The old soul recognized me the moment I touched him, and the infant was very still. He did not cry, even as confusion and anxiety clawed at him. He could not see or properly move his new body after all, and he would not remember what it was like to be birthed before.

"Hush, dear," I soothed my old friend. "Let it go."

Each inhale bound his soul further to the infant's body. One breath, two breath, three breath—

"I'm here," I assured him. "Always and always."

He struggled to hold the memories, but it was a useless effort. He was not Blessed. Death was far kinder to give him a clean slate at the start of each life.

My companions arrived about an hour after. I shouldn't have been surprised they'd find me so quickly.

"This is—" Genryūsai fell silent as he hesitated. "This is your companion?"

"Yes," I said with a big smile. "He's been reborn."

"Messy start," observed Shunsui, eying the bloody woman. Jūshirō respectfully put a blanket over her. "Who's she?"

"That was his mother. I think—" I looked over at the frightened older woman. "That's his grandmother."

"We'll give you some time," said Genryūsai as he approached the grandmother with a polite smile. "Hello—"

I held the baby in my arms, gently soothing him as my friends left the room. Once they convinced the grandmother to give me some space, they took up guarding positions outside.

 _Old friend,_ I thought with fondness. _We meet again._

Almost two thousand years of waiting had finally paid off. Two thousand years wasn't much in comparison to the hundreds of thousands of years lived prior, but it was still a long time. Sometimes we would be lucky and born together, and other times I wouldn't see this old soul for several lifetimes. Two thousand years of waiting for an old friend was better than spending fifty thousand years stuck in a life without any friends.

And it wasn't like I was alone, or living a hellish life. Since I hadn't been reincarnated properly I kept all of my memories and used my abilities to keep myself entertained. Perhaps not an ideal situation, but it could have been worse.

Besides—

He was here, at last. One of my oldest friends, and among the first to purposefully reincarnate alongside me.

I owed…

I owed my friends a lot.

Without them, I would have fallen into despair so very long ago.

The very idea of getting to meet them again and experience more happy memories was the driving force behind everything I did. It kept me moving, even when the grief of losing them again knocked me down.

For them, I'd keep going.

There would be more old souls coming into the story—I suspected Ichigo would be a reincarnation of a Hero—but this one was the first.

Tōshirō Hitsugaya.

I continued to soothe the old soul inside until the last of his memories were gone and only Tōshirō remained. A young, innocent, newborn version of him, but Toshirio nonetheless.

_Ahhh. So cute with those pudgy little cheeks._

Tōshirō's grandmother fretted near the edge of the doorway, clearly anxious to have so many Shinigami captains in her home.

I smiled kindly at her, feeling the warmth in her soul.

 _She'll be a very kind mother,_ I thought.

Which was good. My old friend had a terrible habit of growing up in some kind of bad childhood situation. If his parents weren't dead, they were usually abusing him to train him to become a demon, assassin, shinobi, whatever.

But his grandmother this life had a sweet soul, if a bit weak.

 _He'll grow up in a loving environment here,_ I thought, standing up to head over to her. _Although she looks fatigued, and this house has clearly seen better days._

My friend hadn't been reborn into wealth, but that wasn't an issue. I had money to burn.

I owed my friends so much. I'd topple any challenge for their sake, they had more than earned my loyalty and devotion. Spending all of my wealth on them seemed like such a tiny thing to do.

 _Although it's best not to grow up too spoiled,_ I thought wistfully. Moderation was always the ideal way to nurture.

"I'm sorry," I kindly apologized to her. "This must be very overwhelming to you."

"Ah—not at all," she mumbled, but her expression of bewilderment betrayed the truth.

"This child has a very special soul," I told her. "I knew him in another life, if you will."

"Ah." The grandmother's face softened. "I see."

"If it's okay with you, I'd love to help out," I said, carrying the baby over to her.

The grandmother shook her head, raising her hands. "Oh, I wouldn't dare impose upon a captain."

Firmly, I stated, "It is not imposing. I _want_ to help. Would you please indulge me?"

The grandmother struggled to respond but after another minute of silence she nodded her head and gave me a smile only a grandmother could master. "Okay, dear."

"Excellent," I said as Tōshirō squirmed in my arms. I adjusted my grip to better hold him before handing him back to the grandmother and looking around the house. "Do you plan to live here?"

"Yes."

There were some cracks in the ceiling, and judging from the smell there was probably mold under the house.

"Welp," I said, assessing it. _Gonna cash in some of my time off favors. I need to fix this place up_.

But that was fine.

At long, long last my companion was here.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

Shunsui frowned as we left the house. "That's him?"

"That's him."

"And the others?"

"Not yet here," I said, looking up at the clear blue sky and squinting. There were clouds on the horizon—likely another snowstorm.

"He's got some crazy reiatsu for a newborn," observed Genryūsai.

"'Course," I said. "He's an old man, what'd you expect?"

"If he's an old man does that make you an old hag?" Genryūsai chuckled.

"Old soul, not hag," I said with a narrowed gaze. "Hags are nasty. They _eat_ eyeballs. Blech."

I stretched my arms up, feeling old aches finally start to ease at the presence of my old companion. "Yosh! Now I just gotta make sure he grows up well."

"He doesn't—he doesn't have any of his memories?"

"Nope. He's in the same boat as you guys," I said with a smile. "He is who he is, and he'll grow up as Tōshirō Hitsugaya. I just want to make sure he'll be okay doing so. I mean—you understand, right? If I was reincarnated, wouldn't any of _you_ want to take care of me?"

The three men seemed surprised at that question.

"Yes," answered Genryūsai first, his voice quiet and thoughtful. "I would watch over you."

"Yeah…" Shunsui looked away.

Jūshirō nodded firmly. "Of course."

"You'd do whatever it took to make sure I grew up well?" I said with a smile.

Shunsui grinned at that. "Sure. I'd play games with you."

"Cook for you," Jūshirō added.

"Made sure you had a good education," agreed Genryūsai.

I beamed. "Exactly. I'm going to need to take some time off so I can fix up his home and whatnot."

"Whatever you need," Genryūsai assured me.

"Kinda of surprised you didn't adopt him."

"Ewww. I've made babies with that soul. I can't— _ewww_. I'm not _that_ kinky," I said with my face scrunched up in disdain.

"Wow. Did we just find something to make _you_ uncomfortable?" Shunsui chuckled.

"Incest is not wincest."

"Finally. We've found a line she won't cross. This is a great day," chortled Genryūsai.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**Extra:**

"Rirī. Give me back my subject."

"It's too late," I cackled. "It has been disposed of."

Kisuke drew out his zanpakutō, a dark gleam in his eyes. "I see."

I picked up Owari and grinned. "Oh-ho? Wanna play, sweetie?"

"I'm afraid you won't like this game," he warned me.

"Promises, promises!"

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**Extra:**

"Why are you like this, taichō?" Sōsuke asked me, staring at the destroyed training field after my game with Kisuke.

I reached over and squeezed his hand. "Chaos for the sake of chaos, my dear.

**(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **ノ⌒●** **~***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New cover done by Cantrona! :)
> 
> I've revised the prologue & chapter one to make more sense with the fucked up lore of Bleach.
> 
> For my wattpad readers: Pictures have been added to all the chapters for ease.
> 
> Next up: Rangiku, Gin, and the start of the Hollowfication arc! Yeehaw.
> 
>  **Answer:** The kaleidoscope as shikai, and bankai would be a stronger version of it.
> 
>  **Question:** If you were reborn into the Bleachverse, and one of the characters would be your very best friend from the moment you were born - who would it be?
> 
> Reviews are **love**!


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